In 1967, a woman named Tush-Doody and a French man named Ken Shlage (going under the name of Kitty when in drag)got together and lived in sin for about thirty seconds. It didn't take long for Tazuko to be conceived.
Her birthday is June 9th, making her a Gemini (think really hard about that one). She was a very intelligent baby. Her teeth grew in when she was four days old, earning her the nickname of "The Girl With the Nasty Teeth". When she was seven, she took up oragami.
Sadly, when Tazuko was eight, her mother died. So did her aunt, who lived in France. Tazuko had a cousin there, Marie Villefort, aka Little Marie. Little Marie was devestated, and met up with her cousin (her father was Mark -Mary Slammin- Shlage, Ken's brother). With Marie clutching "Le Petite Prince", her favorite book, and Tazuko clutching a bag full of paper flogs, they set off to America.
Neither spoke English. Both rambled in their own languages for years until finally, someone taught them English. By this time, they were both 16.
Tazuko got her drivers license. It was revoked. Picture this. Tazuko behind the wheel with a big, toothy smile, bobbing her head to the blasting music. She made other people laugh and crash their cars. Seven fatalities total. So Tazuko got her license revoked when she was seventeen. By this time, Little Marie was sleeping around and was a millionaire.
Her gentle spirit crushed, Tazuko moved to Massachusetts where she became a pothead. For many years, she spent her days high and glassy-eyed. She became an alcoholic and was involved in many bank robberies. In 1992 she turned her life around and moved to Florida, drug free, where she pursued her passion - oragami.
Working in Epcot was great. It was like being back in Japan. In 1994, she starred in the greatest movie of all time, "Barbie's Birthday Party", which is Framingham-renouned. People love it. They idolize Tazuko. I idolize Tazuko. She's a swell gal. Today, we don't know where Tazuko is, though we've been e-mailing Disney World, trying to find her.
