--------------------------------------
Kiss my brow-
chafe my raw skin
with tainted breath-
sever my heart
from mind and carry
me off again
as those before,
black angel
beneath fake flourescent
light of brilliance-
then discard me
for i feel no
longer,
only crumple and sob-
own weakness for false security,
to be everything and believe it-
grace my naivity
with caress of acidic alcohol-
let me consume myself
as coal until
i dissolve
and break
from these walls.
--------------------------------------
EBBING SIMULATION
what is this direction found
where life's will ebbs,
only monotonous sound;
anorexic skeletons
upon the ground,
we fail to notice
step over the mound;
helplessly wailing,
don't look around.
to a god we pray
our memorized pleas
as we're wasting away,
a visual hell,
a smog-covered grey,
identical bodies
fashioned from clay,
childhood lost
we've taught them our ways.
--------------------------------------
regurgitate the instinct
choke the tears
and life from body-
unlearn this childīs play
of health,
for frailty walks the streets-
fear solitude for its invocation,
yet company reiterates the known-
grope weakly,
stability recoils-
begin again.
--------------------------------------
on wings of watercolor
twist the dagger from my wound,
for i need to bleed
and swim to freedom-
escape from enclosing cave,
released from repression-
recall the silent voice
and boldly announce the certainty
of hesitance-
blind ignorance has fled-
the blurred view is so clear!
knowing nothing except
i thought it
and was wrong-
satisfied with the undefined,
i proceed on
swirling wings of watercolor
across the unmarked pages,
and soak it in.
--------------------------------------
Breakdown
tired of this search for paradise-
disappointment mounts upon me
and i smile
and carry you on.
you add add your relief and reliance
to this weight-
wince, straighten-continue.
i can't do it much longer;
holding on for you
and neglected tears
remain unnoticed.
it will never be enough-
you want paradise too.
unable to lift this off
to help myself,
i crumble
and weep.
--------------------------------------
III.
you tread not upon the marked sands
of my love-
i fear my mere existence,
transluscent jellyfish;
gauge the thoughts away.
yet you remain-
though tides of fear made erode conciousness,
continually you appear on the shore;
precious shell,
clambered after-
how i long to slip it away with me"
but with love and awareness,
i set you free.
--------------------------------------
I.
i step forward with uneven certainty
to tell you the truth;
exposing each imperfection of my being,
the raw existence.
fear of rejection-
search for courage.
screaming naked aloneness
in the expanse of a barren landscape
to the neverending vastness of nothing.
hoping for your allowance
of your enveloping shelter
from torrentuous rain;
would your every whispering thought
dissolve into my soul
like the unspoken intimate grace
of star-cross'd lovers,
we merge as one.
i step forward with uncertainty
to tell you the truth;
exposing each imperfectiong of my being,
the raw existence.
fear of rejection-
if only i had
the courage.
--------------------------------------
it's over.
iīm done now, this game is old.
i wonīt be your giggling doll with molded limbs-
iīve found the flaming reality.
the passion need not be released-
it isnīt bound anymore.
itīs not a joke now;
i will play with vehemence-
artificiality is flammable
and i will indiscriminately consume.
this love may be appealing, but
iīll tear you apart.
i will be your executor when you fail
--------------------------------------
Coffee-shop Boy
brooding a self-constructed hell,
he sits only in corners,
outside the circle-
enclosed in his malicious fairytale.
delicately manic,
heīs a spider
of his own complications.
hungry for pain,
self-inflicting lament;
perfectly resigned to
a depressed stupor.
what a pose you hold-
rigidly limp, a flawless veil.
when will you forget yourself
and fall?
--------------------------------------
Chalkdust in Velvet Midnights
it was only a passing mystery
but in those rose-tinted thoughts
my soulīs passion was released.
a dream can mean so much,
those fleeting thoughts are
chalkdust in velvet midnights.
gauzy images upon the tides of conciousness-
i burn for a fantasy.
streaks of caramel skin
and hair of charcoal,
midnight pools made the meaning clear-
like ragged thorns pierced my heart.
it now lies an open wound,
slowly pulsing itīs longing.
--------------------------------------
New Shoes
rest upon my feet.
when i bought them
guilt burned my naked soul-
relentless torture plagues me
but they remain: i endure
with a graceful strut
until i fall and they
realize itīs not me.
i lie upon the ground-
exposed.
--------------------------------------
at times we are born
to the vibrance of life
and we journey a spectrum
against a bland ebony
which has become society.
aurora borealis
and a precious gem
illuminate monotony-
why do we attempt
to extinguish creativity
and convert it to
a simulated hell?
do not fear the
monarch sunset-
itīs bloody shade is our
peace in this world.
--------------------------------------
Black Butterfly
flew through the recesses of
my mind and frayed
the bone-shell of my heart.
it now lies raw,
as prey for greedy hands.
ragged nails gnarl
the tender flesh
and naked screams
are lost in empty skies.
resigned, turn inward-
entangled in your arms
but only feeling their savage warmth-
not consumed.
alone i lie against your body,
a wax doll for your lust.
--------------------------------------
Untitled
little girl, blonde willow cloud
tremors in silent tension
while she stares at her skin,
stretched-rawhide on her skeleton.
societyīs beauty queen-and still itīs not enough.
--------------------------------------
Contact me
teufelsunde@yahoo.com