--------------------------------------
THE NOTHING SONG
Perfect you wait
Unique you are
Your brain is conected
You won't make it far
Virgin your mind
Wait for the day
Beg to be sacrificed
The price you must pay
These chains of oppression
They bind you so fast
Conform to a society
That never will last
Everyone's dying
You just look away
All on the news
It's just an average day
People are slaves
Minds think the same
Cry to be manipulated
Just make it go away
--------------------------------------
CREEP
I am creeping
While you fear
Just want to love me
Call me your dear
Drag me closer
To a poisoned heart
Confuse me with promises
I'll play my part
All you know
Is alone
You want me to be prefect
A good American clone
Kill me with love
Praise me with hate
Change me with your expectations
Bury me with fate
Kiss me without passion
You just want me to touch
Be with me to be different
You're asking too much
Seduce me with lies
Chain me with tears
Someday I'll escape from your maze of confusion
Then I'll be forgotten, another face among your peers
--------------------------------------
ROLLERCOASTER
You try and get close to me
You don't know what you're in for
I'm the old, wooden rollercoaster
With no brakes flying through the night
Chasing the moon just for the feeling of the chase
Around the loop and down the steep hill
Then I climb back up the other slope before you knew what hit you
This ride will never stop
Can you hang on?
--------------------------------------
VOICES IN MY HEAD
Phantoms race,
Demons chace,
I run and I hide
In a secret place.
Specters search,
Monsters lurch,
All in my head,
Vision turning red.
Devels grin,
Banshees within,
Screaming my pain
This fight I can't win.
Killers abound,
Smell Death around,
My soul is gone
My sanity not found.
--------------------------------------
EVERYTHING LOOKS WRONG
Sun is dark
Snow is black
The clowns all weep
Crusaders turn back
Couples all argue
Old friends fight
Comics don't laugh
Day is like night
Angels bathe in sin
Priests all burn
Doves fall and die
The scholars don't learn
Is it my perception
That's left me at last?
Help me, I beg you.
It's all fading too fast.
--------------------------------------
LEAVING
On a cliff looking over
I see the unknown.
It is grey, but strangly appealing...
I think of all that I am leaving,
Everything that is certain in life and known.
I'm leaving it all behind for what is a total mystery.
I think of the people I love,
My friends,
All that's ever mattered to me.
And I ask myself, "Why am I doing this?"
But I've forgotten long ago.
It's too late for me now.
I haven't leapt yet,
But I've already hit bottom.
--------------------------------------
.
Alone I walk
Alone I cry
Alone I fight
Alone I die
Alone I'm quiet
Alone I shout
Alone I write
Alone I pout
Alone I argue
Alone I agree
I am alone
Alone is me
--------------------------------------
WHY CAN'T YOU?
Can't you see
I just want someone?
A person to love
A person who cares
I just live life
And try and have fun
But all I ever find is endless despair
Can't you see
I just want to be different?
Someone special
Someone unique
I walk around
With no known preference
But my heart is a wound from which blood slowly seeps
Can't you see
Our days are numbered?
Counting down
Leaving fast
We waste it all when we slumber
And before we know it our time has passed
Can't you see
That I'm dying?
Turning black
Turning cold
I spend my nights at home crying
I'll never make it to grow old
--------------------------------------
WHAT IF
What if life is just a dream
And none of this is really here?
Reality is percieved by what is seen
But what is seen may not be clear
What if you're all just part of my dream
Imagined in my endless sleep?
When I wake up, will I scream?
Or from my bed sadly weep?
And if I'm sleeping, where am I?
Where is this place I eternally rest?
And in my dream, can I fly?
Maybe I'll put it to the test.
If someone kills me in my sleep
Will we all just disappear?
I'll never know, because I'm a creep
But my death I always fear.
And if I die before I wake
Will my heart stop beating for its own sake?
Or will the devil my soul take?
Maybe a new dream my mind will make...
--------------------------------------
HUNTER
You have entered into my land
Following the footsteps of many others
I'll sacrifice you like a lamb
Kill you as I have all my lovers
Try to run and try to hide
But I know myself more than you
This is not a safe park ride
Because everything here isn't cheap and new
In my world we play for keeps
The price is high and the game is tough
The dying willow lonely weeps
Here I play hard and I play rough
So if you play, do not falter
When you lose, I'll know why
Sacrifice you at the alter
No one has beat me, and it makes me cry
--------------------------------------
THE ROSE FORTRESS
A single rose stands alone
Sought after by many others
They want to take it from its throne
As they have all its brothers
But a rose is a castle
With thorns as stone walls
To try and break through would be a hassle
So the rose, it never falls
A person's spirit is also a stronghold
With lies and deceptions as its guard
To take this spirit takes strength that's untold
But the human still dies, although it's so hard
A rose and a human die every day
By the same skeleton rider upon his black steed
Their light may diminish but never will fade
For the fight is our life and that's all that we need
--------------------------------------
THE TOWER OF BABEL
Work to achieve
What cannot be done
Raise me a tower
As high as the sun
A ancient jealous god
Watches in horror
They want to reach Heaven
Faster than before
So the god smiles down
With a wicked grin
To him this appears
The worst possible sin
You can't play god
There's only room for one
Just sit back and relax
And try and have fun
In the blink of an eye
The people stop their work
They cannot find the words
That in their souls lurked
The wanted a high-rise
Their language now drabble
The mightiest of towers
The Tower of Babel
--------------------------------------
WATCHING
I sit on a ledge
High above the city
Everything is so clear to me here
I look below at the people
They all walk at different speeds
Like an un-coordinated army of tin soldiers
They're all so wrapped up in their own lives
Their own worlds
They march on
Each to their destinations
Each to a predetermined fate
I, too, march to my own destiny
But not oblivious to it all
Not made of tin, but flesh and bone
I know the stakes
And they threaten to overwhelm me
Still I play the game
Above it all
Watching
--------------------------------------
STRENGTH
I will not fall
Into the black
I go on
Despite the lack
Of a place
I can call home
Where am I?
Alone I roam
The streets at night
Afraid and cold
Run away!
Don't be bold
I must have strength
To live this life
To give my best
Even with this strife
I will go on!
I cannot go down
You count on me
To be around
Until the last
Person falls
I will be here
Within these halls
Of my own hell
But I choose
To live this life
I cannot lose
Hope; for that
Keeps me here
Every day
Each passing year
So when you fall
I'll be there
To help you up
Because I care
--------------------------------------
WALLS
I sit in a room
Dark and cold
They feed me bits of food
Enough to keep be going
Keep my heart beating
They let me out into the world
I run
Searching
Looking for a way out of this prison
Out of this hell
But they always are behind me
They catch up with me
Put me back into my cage
Feed me some more knowledge
More food
They do not know
I look around
Each day getting closer to escape
The hope of freedom pounding through my veins
I go on
Always hoping
Always searching
Someday I will be free
Free from this prison
Free from the chains that bind me
I will have found freedom
Found myself
I hear them coming now
It's time to go back to the game
Back to the maze
Back to living life
--------------------------------------
FRIENDS
You're my friend
You tell me each day
But at night I sit and watch
For that is when you pay
The infinate price
For a life gone wrong
You'd sell your soul
Just for a song
I see them all fall
From my glass cage
So easily shattered
By my mad rage
Some friends run
Others go hide
In their own worlds
Absorbed in self-pride
Some go for drugs
Others use a gun
Watch them all go down
With the setting sun
I may seem a rock
Not show the pain
But seeing you all fall
I take it all in vain
It all wears me down
Strong as I may be
But if you saw it from my eyes
Then I hope you'd see
That life isn't worth it
To give it all away
Stay with me, just a little longer,
And together we'll face each day
--------------------------------------
THE DANCE
You can't see me
For I don't exist
Think you know
By your little list?
I am no one
But someone too
Thought you had me?
You never knew.
I dance a tune
That don't know
You don't see it
Because I don't show
I am the monster
That hides in your dreams
I am the angel
Silent and unseen
I can be heaven
I can be hell
Upon your shores
I will not dwell
For I must be different
The odd and the queer
I may act normal
Only when you're near
You reach inside
My inner self
But you grasp nothing
From my shelf
Find your own answers
Look not to me
I cannot help you
I only wish to be
--------------------------------------
TO: ----
I love you more than life itself
And I'm not sure what I'll do;
When I'm gone and you're not there.
I know it's hard, but it's true.
It's strange that even though we just met
That I care about you so;
Always wishing you were with me
I never want to see you go.
You're sweeter than honey, more beautiful than a rose,
I think of you all day long.
You make me smile when I'm down
Your voice is like a white dove's song.
It was a chance meeting, that day we met,
And I'm eternally grateful we did.
You make me feel like I'm somone special
Who isn't just a little kid.
So for this I thank you.
You've saved me once more
Now I have a new star to wish on
My life is much brighter than before.
--------------------------------------
PARADISE LOST
Striving for the best we try for more.
Closer and closer we become.
Nothing can break us apart.
There's no limits on my happiness.
I can see the stars, the heavens.
Everything is within my grasp.
But then I'm shaken from my perch.
As I fall from my cloud, I wonder;
I wonder why I'm falling.
What have I done to deserve this?
Wasn't I always kind?
What did I do wrong?
I grab for the branches of hope on the way down
Trying to somehow save myself;
All I do is cut myself on the branches.
I claw at the sky as I plummit
Trying with all of my burnt-out soul to
Climb back up to the heavens.
As I reach for them, my dreams, they laugh at me.
I keep trying, despite the pain.
The blood flows freely from my wounds now.
I don't care, I still have hope, I still try.
As the life, the meaning, the happiness drains from my body
I try to think back to how I got here.;
Why I'm dying inside.
I've lost it all.
Paradise is beyond my reach.
--------------------------------------
HATE
See the hate
It burns me inside
Watch it consume me
This time it will win
I see the red
It blurs by eyes
Distorts my vision
Eats away my soul
Look at me!
See that it's all true
I can hide it well
But every day it gets harder
I can't control the rage
Maybe I'll lose it
This time it's over
Over for good
Red is my color
Black is my heart
It's all I see
All I feel
You think I hate you?
No, I hate me
--------------------------------------
i run and run
nowhere to go
I am lost
where the hell am i
why am i here
what if this is all there is
what if life is always like this
it goes on without me i
every day is a heartbreak
no one loves me
i'm never good enough
never will be good enough
people mock me when i'm myself
i wear a mask
everyone likes the mask
they hate the sad and depressed
no one understands
it's all too much
i need a way out
the door is closing
i try to make it
i can't
everything is going black
i am alone
so alone
--------------------------------------
THE CLIFF
Now what do I do
Where do I go from here
No one cares about me
I'm all alone
My heart is gone
Everything is hopeless
I'll never be able to see her again
Never be able to give her a hug
Never be there to just hold her
I've lost it all
I can never go back
But I can't go forward
There's nowhere to go
I stand on a cliff of opposistion
Looking down into the bleak, cold
Darkness below
I'm scared
My mind tells me to leave this place of sadness
My heart tells me to jump
I follow my heart
Now I reside in the darkness
Alone forever
Lost forever
I never hit bottom
So I can never climb out
--------------------------------------
PARADISE REVISTED
I crawl from the darkness.
It is an impossible climb, but I will make it.
Clinging to the cold rock walls of my mind
I struggle to the top of my sorrow;
To sunlight;
Finally I am free from myself.
I look around me, at my life;
What it was and what it could be.
I understand it all so clearly now.
What has been done;
What must be done.
The world shines for me only.
The flowers always bloom for those
who want to see them.
I want to see the flowers.
Looking at the world through new eyes
Everything seems beautiful.
I love seeing the flowers.
--------------------------------------
RELEASE
Happy dreams
A happy hour
Midnight teems
I will devour
Lessons learned
Knowledge lost
My heart is frozen
Like winter's frost
See me burn
See my pain
You still ignore
Again and again
You'll never care
You'll never see
You wanna fuck around???
Then come on, fuck with me!
Toss my heart into a blender
Smash my soul until it's tender
Break my will
Destroy my life
Kick me around
All day, every night
Feel my pain
See it clear
Hand me a gun
Remember for a year
Wish it all away
Wish it all night
I see through the lies
I can see you know
You never meant a word you said
I still wonder how
I fell for you with all my heart
But it was all a game
I guess I thank you
For showing me the truth
Now I know you
You're not the same
--------------------------------------
go back to the hurt
go back to the pain
see him once more
feel it again
experience the joy
see it in your eyes
you miss what you had
your heart just cries
want what you can't have
want what you can't see
ask for the longing
u need it to be
maybe he likes you
maybe not
you're sure that he wants you
ignore lessons taught
he hurt you once
tore open your heart
why can't you see?
you ignore that part
i always will love you
that never will change
maybe you hate me
i'm not that strange
i'll keep the faith
here 'till the end
run from the truth
but my feelings won't bend
i hope that you'll change
but this i won't force
i'll try to be patient
i still love you, of course
--------------------------------------
NO HOPE
you said that you liked me
and it seemed that you did
then i fell in love with you
those feelings i had hid
i told you how much i cared
i said to you each day
for a while everything was fine
but now it's not, i say
you still like him, you always have
and now i know it's true.
you never really liked me back
even though i always loved you
you acted so sweet, every time we met
and u seemed to care for me
i lived in heaven for that brief time
but now i can clearly see
you'll never like me, it's sad but true
and i've waited oh so long
i figured that our time would come
but now i see i'm wrong
--------------------------------------
I want you to have this
It means a lot to me
It even led me to you
And keeps me feeling free
I hand you this gift
And hope that you'll like it
Please don't break it
Lose it or hide it
Without it I am nothing
And worthless to you
It makes me feel happy
Whenever I'm blue
By now you're probably wondering
What this is that i will soon part
It's really a simple, humble thing
That I like to call my heart
--------------------------------------
Another night alone,
No glamor no sheen,
I tried to be nice,
I never was mean.
I minded my business,
I kept to myself,
I never bothered you
Or anyone else.
But I never was popular,
Nobody liked me.
Nowhere to go,
Nowhere to be.
But still you ignore me,
Over and again,
I know you don't mean it,
It isn't a sin.
Someday I'll have someone,
That would be fun.
But until that time,
I'll still have no one.
--------------------------------------
Why is life so hard to live,
When everything is cool?
Even when your friends are there,
You feel just like a fool.
Life is tough and life is mean
But I can't give in right now.
I have to much to live for,
But I often wonder how?
How can I go on with all of this
Just to have it begin again?
Every day that I wake up
It never seems to end.
Why do I feel the way i feel?
How come she doesn't feel the same?
How come some people aren't ever there
Even when you ask them by name?
Some people like me, some people don't
Why is it I feel worn
Tossed around between emotions,
Just like a sail that's torn.
So here I'll sit, day after day,
In this never-ending game.
So why, I ask you, again and again,
Do I have to feel this pain?
--------------------------------------
NEVER
never can, never will, just can't be, but i want it still.
never will, be that way, i want it all, but here i stay
--------------------------------------
Every time you're around
I feel overjoyed
I float on invisible wings
Nothing can touch me
I soar above the earth
Looking down at the world far below
Life is easy to live
But then i fall
Reality comes crashing in
I can never be completely happy
I'll never have you to hold
To love and be be loved
But the hope glimmers still
The dream lives on
Anything is possible
Someday you'll love me back
--------------------------------------
Another night alone
No glamour no sheen
I tried to be nice
I never was mean
I minded my business
I kept to myself
I never bothered you
Nor anyone else
But I never was popular
Nobody liked me
Nowhere to go
Nowhere to be
But then you came
Out of the past
We always we friends
Even if I was last
For this I thank you
For saving me, it's true
I've always loved you
But you never knew
So if you ever need me
I'll be there for you
Even if you hate me
I'll love you then too.
--------------------------------------
THE JUDGES
People are judges
That think they know well
They give you a place
A number and cell
They'll treat you as lessors
They'll treat you as swine
And when you complain
They'll give you a fine
Some think they are better
Far smarter than the rest
They see themselves as superior
Definitely the best
But the one's that judge
Usually don't know
That everyone has feelings
Even if it doesn't show
We know when you're laughing
Mocking our faults.
Until we are ashamed;
And lock our emotions in vaults
The judges will force us
To act like all the rest
So we won't be laughed at
For not being the best
But there are the small few
Who see through the fog
They will not give in
And act like trained dogs
I'll be my own person!
If I want, act like I'm twelve
Because I know it's them
That are afraid to be themselves.
--------------------------------------
NINE
I feel so great
I'm living on cloud nine
Finally I have found true love
It came as a surprise
My best friend for life
I cherish each moment together
I never want to leave her side
No harm will I let touch her
But still I am afraid
I've never had these feelings before
I am lost
But I will learn
Nothing will break us apart
Ever
--------------------------------------
THE CANDLE
The candle flickers like a thousand lights
It's soft glow filling the room
It is forever hungry
Always wanting more than it has
Driven by instinct, it fights for it's life
An essence all to itself
Like a person, grabbing all it can
Devouring all it gets
The flame is eternal, always watching
Waiting for a chance to escape
But fire's life is so easily lost
It consumes itself in the hope for more
Fragile, yet having the capacity for more if taken care of
Needing attention, needing fuel, it strives to be greater
Eventually the fire will die, and be forgotten
I am the fire
I will consume, and go for more
Refusing to be forgotten
--------------------------------------
THINKING
Often I wonder
I find that it's true
That I'm not sure if you like me
Even though I love you
You say that you like me
But deny it to your friends
You might act sweet
But only when our time's about to end
I'm not sure if it's me
That makes you act this way
Or if you really like someone else
I worry every day
You're easily my closest friend
I've told you time and again.
But when someone's around, you act completely different
But still for your heart i contend
Are you afraid of them
Or scared of what they'll say?
Am i that embarressing?
I wonder this as i lay
Every day i want to hold you
But i want you to be at ease.
I'm really not sure if i can
Make you smile and be pleased
So i ask you in this poem
Do you really like me?
And if i'm wrong, and you really don't
Then tell me and let me be.
--------------------------------------
LEAVE ME BE
I feel so trapped,
I reek of self-doubt
Everyone's against me
I think I might shout.
You pry into my life,
You won't let me alone
.
My sanctity invaded,
I'm not safe at home.
I have my own reasons
For doing what I did.
So don't call me stupid.
I'm not a little kid.
But you call me a jerk.
A cold, heartless man.
I never figured your opinion
Into part of my plan.
I break expectations,
I live on the run.
My life is a hell.
I wish for a gun.
I chose this path.
So why can't you see?
I want to be alone,
So just leave me be.
--------------------------------------
Contact me
teufelsunde@yahoo.com