--------------------------------------
Faceless
Hand my dust to my father.
Look at my face
Though you don't see me.
There's a secret place
Where I stay safe;
The only peace I'll ever taste.
Come with me...
I've seen so much, make me blind again.
Come with me...
Crawl all day, I'm behind again.
Come with me...
Just left hell, now I'm back again.
Come with me...
Come with me...
I walk the path but I falter.
Pray to the Gods
Though I'm faithless.
There's a sacred place
That was always waste;
Climbed my mountain, I'm still at the base.
Come with me...
I've seen so much, make me blind again.
Come with me...
Crawl all day, I'm behind again.
Come with me...
Just left hell, now I'm back again.
Come with me...
Come with me...
--------------------------------------
Buried
Wish I was too blind to see
The sadness on your face;
Tragic that which I created
The demons to which I must cater.
You don't need to stand there
And I don't want to be
The one who keeps running farther.
But once I am gone,
You can finally be.
Wish I was to cold to care
If I really even cared at all.
Never could stand up and cry out,
So you sat there and never asked about
All the things that eat me inside
Never had someone who'd stand beside
Me and the burdens that I carry;
You see my eyes, but my true soul rarely.
You don't need to stand there
And I don't want to be
The one who keeps running farther.
But once I am gone,
You can finally be.
Wish I'd died and never lived,
The pain gone from my face.
Life forgotten and just memory,
Nothing left, you won't remember me.
You don't need to stand there
And I don't want to be
The one who keeps running farther.
But once I am gone,
You can finally be.
--------------------------------------
Afterwards
Walking through the tent
Walls flapping in the steady desert breeze
Like a fragile fish in an ocean of sand,
He sees his friends;
His comrades;
His brothers.
The young boy that bought him a drink
At the bar last Friday night
Just turned 18, but he might as well be 12
In this harsh reality.
Some of the men are sleeping,
Some moaning,
And some screaming in pain.
Others have already pierced the
Veil between this life and the next
And are soaring like birds on to whatever
Awaits them in the afterlife.
But for now there is only pain and death here.
As the man walks on
Blood pours on the floor
From one of the slabs
A if it were an Aztec alter
From a far gone time;
The blood of one of the his own.
The old man kneels down,
Joints cracking,
And with tears in his ancient eyes
Tries to soak the goo up with a
Greasy, already blood-soaked rag;
Maybe from yesterday.
All he does is smear the mess around
On the once blue and white
Checkerboard tiles, now colored burgandy.
The blood keeps coming.
As he stands he looks at his aged, wrinkled,
And now bloody hands.
"It should be my blood," he thinks.
The blood oozes into every pore,
Every hold, every line,
Every tiny crevice in his skin.
It dyes them red,
The darkest of all reds
That only blood can be.
As he walks away,
He knows, somewhere in the back of his mind,
His hands will never be the same again.
--------------------------------------
From Russia with Love
Although I never told you clearly,
I wish I had every moment;
That I love you.
As I struggle through life,
Unaware of my surroundings,
The fog often blinds me;
But you shine as a beacon of light,
And burn away all of the confusion
That I so often feel;
But now you're gone.
Torn away from me by the icy
Claws of Fate that so often cause
Pain in our lives, and yet,
So much joy, for that's what brought
Us together, and what will do so again.
And still, my heart beats only for you.
--------------------------------------
Purgatory, Heaven, then Hell
Struggling through the barren wastelands,
He eats sorrow for bread and drinks pain for
Nourishment, since none can be found
Among the cracked earth and bleached bones
Of those gone before, but he continues on.
Looking upward towards the heavens,
At the bleak starless sky that he has
Become so accustomed to, a heavenly body,
A star so bright he falls to his knees,
Appears in front of his bloodshot eyes.
It comes closer, and despite it's brightness
And beauty, it brings unseen pain to him,
For he knows that it's beyond his scarred reach.
To his amazment, the angelic presence stays,
And for once in his life, he feels comforted;
Content with his lot in life.
He knows that he can face another day of
The burning sands of his personal wasteland.
And for a time, life is actually ENJOYABLE.
He feels whole, as if the missing piece were found.
But nothing lasts forever.
Slowly, the star,
His light,
His life,
Takes on a different hue;
It still shines on, but not for him.
Gradually it seperates itself from his company
And moves, ever so slowly,
Across the sea of infinity.
He doesn't want it to leave ever;
It's the only thing that's ever made him
Feel as if he belongs;
As if life had purpose underneath
All the sorrow and pain.
But it is all for nought.
Chasing after his light,
He tries to make it see
That it is all that he is;
That without it, he is again nothing;
Shining a red hue, a shade of anger
At being chased after and confronted;
At having it's will, it's desires,
It's choice, it's ideals questioned
It then shines a steely grey,
A light that hurts the wanderer's eyes,
And then disappears.
And now still, he struggles throughout the barren wastelands,
Eating sorrow for bread and drinking pain for nourishment;
Since none will ever be found.
--------------------------------------
Swept Away
Old alliences forged in the heat of life
Evaporate in a moment when tested.
With the beating of time,
Those cared for, bled for, suffered for,
Desert in a second of misunderstanding.
And now I don't even care.
Small mistakes can cost all.
In past times, it was thought
It must be the assholes that caused
It all to end;
The friendships to crumble into dust;
Now I see, that's not completely true.
Blood, love, hate, tears,
They all go away;
Everything temporary, destined to die.
Everything resulting from a jaded soul
That just doesn't have the energy
To care anymore;
To see past all the pettiness and bullshit
That was tolerated for so long;
What will be will be.
Becoming something else;
Maybe better, probably worse;
Wanting to care, but it's too hard.
It's all so tiring, everything slipping away,
Pushed under the rug,
I'll sweep it all up someday.
But does it even matter?
--------------------------------------
Untitled
To see such breath-taking beauty,
Be so close to it,
Close enough to smell it;
Taste it;
And yet, be so amazingly distant from it
At the same time...
Almost in another world,
A different dimension;
Just a specter peering through
The looking-glass;
Unseen by those possessing,
Just another pest, another fly on the wall,
Nothing more.
Hardling worth noticing.
Always wishing to overcome the boundry,
To break through the glass partition
And step into the light;
Just to be seen in any light
Would be worth it all.
Maybe it's just the yearning for the chase,
Attempting to have and hold what seems
Unatainable at first.
Wanting this, needing this,
But maybe just being friends is privlege enough.
Maybe just having beauty there is enough.
But the chase is what drives;
The hope of being greater.
Unreachable now, just a fly;
A shadow;
A spot on the wall.
--------------------------------------
Party
Inibriate the senses,
Just for the hope of fitting in,
Trying, hoping, begging, pleading,
With all of your being
To be like them;
To be liked by them;
Accepted, embraced by them,
And, at the same moment in time,
Wishing you could just be loved
For who you are,
Deep down inside.
Just one person
For one single moment;
That's all you ask.
A smile, a real smile,
Would be all of your heart's desire;
But you know it will never happen.
So you try to be someone else,
To put on that mask,
That plastic smile,
The disgusting indulgence of all the hypocrisy,
And you hate yourself for it.
--------------------------------------
Suffer
Descending from the sky,
Riding on paper-thin wings
Of self-proclaimed rightousness
You critisize everyone,
While denying yourself the same.
Hypocrisy oozing from every pore,
The stench repulses all around;
Anger-inducing, announcing to all
The Heavens falsehoods abounding;
That which is different from your own
Tainted views and beliefs is to be
Feared and destroyed,
While you claim to be the embodiment of
All that is perfect.
Fall from your Tower of Babel,
Your translucent mountain built of glass.
See the faults on your own accord;
Awaken from your dreams filled with
Your personal delusions of grandeur,
And see the monsters you've given birth to,
Whose only reason for going on is to
Tear you limb from limb.
--------------------------------------
A Sparkle
Looking up, I see the stars.
So bright, so beautiful, so full of hope;
I strive to touch them with my hands;
To feel their warmth.
Stretching up into the night sky,
I try with all of my might;
But it's not good enought;
I can't reach them, despite my efforts.
Concentrating harder, I dig deeper;
Farther down into my soul, deeper into my
Subconscious mind, to places never travelled before.
Using more of myself, I try again.
Reaching, stretching, yearning, I use everything;
And it's still not good enough.
It's never been good enough.
Not for me, not for anyone else.
Looking up, I see the stars.
So distant, so cold;
And a single tear falls down my face.
I'll never be tall enough.
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Fires
A fire burns on an unknown plain;
Scarring all it touches
With fiery tendrils of sorrow.
Scorched earth is all it leaves in its wake.
It doesn't care what it harms;
How many it maims or kills;
But all have fallen victim to its blind fury.
A lone figure, different from the others,
Walks through the flames,
Seemingly without care for his own safety.
Robotic in nature, human in appearance,
He feels nothing.
The blaze sees this, and is enraged.
The flames soar higher.
The figure walks on, unscathed;
But only in appearance.
At last these fires of Hell notice
That within the man, if he can be called such,
All is on fire.
There is nothing;
A hollow shell, a husk, is all that exisits of him.
The inferno laughs with glee, and keeps on burning.
And the solitart figure keeps moving forward;
With only emptiness and sorrow in his soul,
And no emotion on his face.
--------------------------------------
Red Veil
Feeling it well up inside,
I let it overtake me.
Rage boiling up over the brim of the pot,
Burning the tender flesh it touches
As it travels its way to the stones.
I smash my fist into my crystal mirror,
Revelling in the pain as it travels up and down my body;
Blood dripping like a waterall
From my clenched fist,
Pooling into a red lake of fire
Ont the cold bathroom tiles.
But I'll get it all back.
I'll get my proverbial "pound of flesh."
There's more depth to my vengence
Then you could possibly fathom.
Crying out to the heavens,
I demand retribution for the wrongs done me.
The spirits cry out in ecstasy;
They haven't recieved my call for so long.
I swear upon all that I hold dear,
You will taste humiliation.
You will bath in darkness.
You WILL be dealt my rage.
This I promise, because I've become consumed by it.
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Contact me
teufelsunde@yahoo.com