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I Miss You
I fell asleep last night,
thinking about you.
I woke up this morning,
thinking about you.
and last night,
I dreamt of you.
do you really think
my days are any different?
I got dressed this morning,
and wondered if you'd thik I'd look good.
I put on my make-up,
and thought of how my eyes are puffy for you.
I put on my bracelet,
and of the one I'd made for you.
I got a ride to school,
and thought of you,
and how you drive.
I got to school,
and I went away.
I came to this cell,
the one wehre I wrote you the 1st letter,
and I think of you.
I sit here and everything,
everything that has,
or could possibly happen,
reminds me of you.
At lunch, I smoke,
and that also reminds me of you.
I talk at lunch,
I talk about you.
I come back from lunch,
and I wish I could talk to you.
I once again sit,
and sitting, I think of you.
I go home,
it's too early to call you.
I hope your okay,
I hope you happy,
I miss you.
I call your cell, hoping your there,
yet not knowing if I can talk to you.
I leave a message,
not letting you know.
I miss you.
I wait for you to call,
and I think about you.
I take a shower, and I cry,
cry for you.
I get naked, I go to bed,
and I think of you.
I wrap my arms, and I wrap my legs,
around a pillow,
I fall asleep.
I miss you.
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Satan's Toys
Bow your head in silence,
the moon has come to guide us.
our eyes are blury
we can't see.
intoxicated, uneducated,
here we wait unaccociated.
dead to the world we wait,
we are the devil's bait.
the stars are in our eyes,
we are the devil's lies.
we will rage the earth,
his name mentioned in every verse.
what we say they'll not forget,
everyday this is what they get.
today we wait, tomorrow we fight,
in the end there will be no light.
the curse will come,
when the day is done.
the strong will rise,
the weak'll fall from all our eyes.
torn will be the flesh we bare,
and tell me now, who will care?
the cries rise,
all essence falls from my eyes.
I can stop the madness,
I can give back the sadness.
I don't want to try,
I don't want you to cry.
I can take away the sickness in strength,
I can give the world it's length.
The devil has grown,
with all our moans.
the sighs and cries will stop,
when the light shines on our great crop.
our children we make now,
we will show them how.
the spirits are our friends,
but show not the ends.
in the night,
we are light.
we touch their heads,
and search their minds for things they've said.
god's hand touches ground,
the sky falls all around.
the devil's power reins,
thicker than all lions manes.
we don't wake,
our lives at stake.
mezmorized, hypnotized,
here we wait tantilized.
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Jaded
Happiness, another place
memories, faded waste.
cleanse the truth
from all the lies,
cut the strings
that make the ties.
love for never
hate for me,
open their eyes
let them see.
tear their hearts
from their souls,
prove them shameful
prove them fools.
strip their cover
of their god's ways,
turn him on them
make them pay.
another person was never me,
everything you want to be.
bare, tear, cut and grin,
love, hate, enjoy the sin.
sloth, gluttony, all you are,
seen not here, but from afar.
can you now see
what I hate?
happiness
was never my fate.
faded, jaded, hated,
for all you've done
I still made it.
behind the skin
we call life,
make your statement
place your knife.
another night
another day,
gone to sleep
gone away.
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Was This Your Fault?
So you want to call this madness,
or was it really a sick and twisted sadness?
the taunting and the teasing,
the harassment never ceasing
wonder if your all right,
as you lay awake at night.
no one really knowing,
the emotions your not showing.
wondering why they leave you the blame,
when it's all their disturbing game.
The pressure is now too much,
avoiding anyones touch.
you feel your gunna burst,
but they dont see they started it first.
the thought of your revenge,
for the emotions you can't bandage.
you finally can't take it,
they'll be repayed every bit.
the shots ring,
their screams sing.
what took you so long?
there all saying your wrong.
your stop this madness,
you leave them with their sadness.
your dragged away,
the harsh words they say.
"your cazy, your insane"
"his parents are to blame"
but they don't see the reason,
they think it was just treason.
and now that it has started once more,
but you've already set your score.
you hear in their voice their fear,
but the harassment is so clear.
they say you're not right,
but their words bind you tight.
the pressure starts to gain,
your once again in pain.
*writen after the columbine incodent.
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Take it away
I'm so tiered of being
in this place
it's pushing me
pushing me away from grace
all the things
I feel or say
are always wrong
in either intention or way
so take me away
befire it's too late
where I'm going
leaves me with out fatec
I sink inside
I smile for them all
but they don't see
there's no where esle for me to fall
it seems that everyday
is more the same
repition is the game
that I am forced to play
(take it away)
I fold inside
all my pride
I try to hide
emotions flowing with the tide.
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Je Parle n’etre pas regarder
(I speak not to be looked at)
Your soft lips pressed against mine
The night air, words of love on my mind
You give me an acid look as though it should say
“A child by night, a child by day”
As harsh words aimed so true bail from your breath
My heart beats sadly from the left of my chest
I risked so much to prove myself a fool
And the words you say are cruel
I part from you heart heavy with pain
And feel hope rush into every vain
Here I give my word ‘I’ll never give in’
For all the love let it be a sin
I wonder if you still care enough to fight
For your love gets me through every day after night
If you are love, It’s worth more than life
I here vow to take the pain and strife
I wonder with all my heart how it could be
Over such simple words I cry a sea
I hope you see this line I erase
Is for a love no one could replace
As I lie in bed and scream inside
You’re the only one who could hear the pain in my sigh
I cling to words said not so long ago
Not even the time of a year or more even so
You wonder why I don’t go
You expect your ways to make it so
I say repeatedly that I love you so much
You steel my heart with the grace of every touch
Mon amour, je parle n’etre pas regarder
(My love, I speak not to be looked at)
It seems your making that harder and harder
The night pushes on
Inching towards dawn
I try so hard to sleep
Through the heavy tears I weep
I now lay silent and scream
Hoping to wake, this pain a dream
As I slowly but surely drift away
The pain is proven to stay
Say you love me if it’s just a lie
But don’t break my heart another time
For the time I spend on things for you
It’s a wonder you question my love as true
I may appear naive but even so
I hope you realize I know you know
Lay me down soft and kind
And tell me, my dear, what’s on your mind
The closer we are
The happier I am
But the pain I realize you must be in
Makes me feel as if I’m a sin
And if my happiness displeases you
Comfort your self with the crying I now do
If it’s such a sin to care so much
Then to hell I go for I love your touch
If you can’t understand these words I plea
Then it’s my fault, for it must be me who can’t see
For every sea of your passion I hold so dear
I cry three seas in every one tear
Oh, if I could only say what burns my heart
Of us together and not so far apart
It’s no wonder for how beautifully you make love
That you don’t need me to be your broken dove
And you at times the perfect beast
It makes for my sorrow the perfect feast
I wish you could know the love I hold
For it’s too large to shortly be told
So here I sign my soul, my heart
And hope not soon it’ll be we part
So I say I love you again and again and again from afar
But all my love won’t fix my heart.
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Fallen Fate
Is life worth such a fallen fate
I will always love, but momentarily hate
Every time I call your name
The answered silence shows my shame
I know not regret of any act
And here proven is the fact
For the love of hate let me be
I don’t see the rope you hang for me
My friend the moon can not be seen
For she knows the acts that were made so mean
Show your compassion and for once be frail
And then for you mercy shall hail
How you could brake a heart that showed so true
You must love another, the questions only who
I hope you realize you’re shallow and weak
And now your worst is at its peak
While the clock of life ticks away
The thought of the future keeps me at bay
So here I find I’ve paid no cost
With the battle won and the battle lost
Here, you see, you did not win
You’ve just gained another sin
I’m now content with the loss I bear
For you were never true nor fair
Here I find were I went astray
I gave a love you could not repay
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All I Could
Tonight I’ll sleep through tears
And dream a thousand fears
But waking I’ll still fight
Awaiting a day as dark as night
I gave you all I could
You gave me what you would
And deep, somewhere, on my heart
We’ll never be apart
Was what I did wrong?
For my will is not strong
I don’t regret a thing I said
It was all from the heart not the head
I don’t regret a thing I do
For all of it was for you
For all the words ever told
I will be brave I will be bold
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Confusion in the Truth
Is what I feel trust
Or love tainted by lust
I wonder if it’s sane
To hope it’s just a game
Your voice still rings for me to hear
I can feel you touch soft and dear
And in the oblivion of it all
It’s no wonder I learned to love the fall
It’s not that I don’t feel for you
That’s the only thing I’m positive is true
The words you say are words
Could they be twisted or turned?
In all this confusion
It could be a blunt intrusion
So wrap your arms around me
And tell me what you see
Tell me all your lies
They’ll help dry my eyes
In the end I’ll feel the pain
But that’s what keeps me sane
So dry my eyes with your lies
And tell me of tomorrow
In the end the oblivion
Will feed my growing sorrow
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Contact me
teufelsunde@yahoo.com