The only reason im putting this on my my page
is to let people understand what kurt was feeling in
his last days, if in fact he did write this note
So heres Kurts Suicide note.
just from typing this i get deppresed, so i hope
im helping someone understand my hero
my god my idol- Kurt Donald Cobain.
To Boddah, Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complainer, this note should be pretty easy to understand. All the warnings from punk rock 101 courses, over the years since my first introduction to the, shall we say ethics involved with independence and embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I havent felt the excitement of listening, as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things. For example, when were sitting backstage and the lights go out and the manic roar? Of the crowds begins, it doesnt affect me in the way in which it did for freddie mercury who seemed to love and relish in the love and adoration from the crowd, which i totally admire and envy. the fact is i cant fool any of you. it simply isnt fair to you or me. The worst crime i can think of is to ripsomebody off by faking it and pretending as if i am having 100% fun. Sometimes i feel as i should have a punch in time clock before i walk out onstage. I have tried everything within my power to appreciateit, and i do, god believe me i do. But its not enough. I appreciate that i and we have effected and entertained a lot of people.I must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when there gone. Im to sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain enthusiasm i once had as a child. On our last 3 tours i have had much better appreciation for all the people i know Personally and as fans of our music, but still cant get over the frustration, the guilt, and the empathy i have for everyone. theres good in all of us and i think i simply love people too much. So much that it makes me feel to fucking sad. The sad,little,unapreciative,pisces-jesus man. Why dont you just enjoy it? I dont know. i have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy- and a daughter who reminds me to much of what i used to be, full of love and joy-kissing every person she meets because every person is good and will do her no harm. and that terrifies me to the point where i can barely function. i cant stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self destructive death rocker that ive become. I have it good and im grateful. But since the age of 7 ive become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along and have empathy. Empathy! Only because I love and feel for people to much , i guess. Thank you all from the pit of my burning nauseous stomach, for your letters and concern in the past years. im to much of an erratic, moody person and dont have the passion anymore and so remember, its better to burn out than to fade away. Peace love empathy, Kurt Cobain
