I’m a loser magnet, or is it that I’m attracted to losers who don't even like me? See me above? well, i guess i have issues...i need hair and boobs and a behind and clothes...but i'm still gawd damn sexy, baybee! My brain is fried from this stupid idea that I’ll meet the perfect mista luva in this small-polluted world. People have assured me with comforting lies of this idea that I will meet the mista luva of my dreams, but if I’m supposed to where the fuck is he, yo? I’m not gettin' any younger, g!
All the losers I meet are either gay, homo, or unavailable in some stupid, shitty ass way. My definition of unavailable is in content of one or more of the following flaws:
1. Has a hoochie girlfriend (or two, or three...)
2. Loves and cares for only himself
3. Is in love with another dude
4. Is stupid and retarded in every way
5. Thinks he's god's gift to women
6. Shares assumptions about other girls bodily parts
7. Mentions pussy in every five seconds of speech just like the word f*ck
8. Immediately after sex gets up for a bowl of apple cinnamon cheerios
9. Claims I take pictures of him nude
10. Gets a candy store phone number from a girl he plans to hook up with...now who was she...
11. Tells me I would do a lesbian
12. Lies his way into my pants
13. owns 5 pairs of shoes :P
More flaws to come, just keep updating and sign my goddamn guest book every fuckin' time.
WantedMy mista luva will be spiritually gorgeous, sexy in every hot, dorky way and will be pulchritudinous even when he wakes up from slobbering over his pillow. He will have the ability to use his ten-inch tool to please me in every hot, steamy, panted breath way. And will understand my undefined persona. If this describes you, mista luva, please contact me now. The sooner you do, the sooner the kinky activities begin, baybee!!!!!!! Contact me at 1-800-suk-dick.
I FoUNd mY MiSTa LuVA bAYBee!!!!!!!!!! ben is the only man for me and i love him for all the world :P Want some?? ¡G£† ¥¤û® Õwñ M@ñ!
remember to sign my gawd damn guestbook!
crap
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