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Killinger Ave > Craig
Craig - Drums
Hello everyone. I am Craig, aka "Craghamer" (pronounced with heavy German accent). Before I start with my bio, I would like to say that I love little boys. Little boys, little boys, little boys. I can't get enough of them. Someday when KA becomes famous, I hope to have my own troupe of little boys that dress up and reenact particular scenes from Hamlet (chosen at my discretion) while we play shows so that I can have some eye candy other than Terry the bassist's adorable ass (wink, wink). Oh yeah, and I'm not gay.
Anyhow, with that out of the way, I will now begin my bio. I was born in 1982 in a small suburban town on Long Island (SURPRISE!!) where I grew up my entire life. My childhood was fairly normal and considering that nothing terribly traumatic happened to me, it makes one wonder how I became so particularly eccentric considering how realtively normal my parents are by contrast. Ever since a young age, I was always attracted to way things sounded when I hit them. My sister, my forehead on the ground, sticks dragged along fences ... yes, I was a rambunctious youngster full of energy and imagination. It's no wonder how I became attracted to the drums! When I was entering the fourth grade, my parents informed me that they wanted me to pick an instrument to play for the school band. Since I had no life then and thought that this would give me something to do besides memorize 1,400 different ways play each level of Super Mario Bros. for Nintendo, I chose the drums on a whim. Luckily, it turned to be the right instrument for me and I've stuck with it ever since.
The irony is that despite playing in the school band from fourth to twelth grade, I never actually owned or played on a drum set with any consistency until last year when I joined MCO with Shyam, Ronn, and Terry. There a variety of reasons for this which I care not to go into now, but since I was already really good with my hands (or so my grandmother tells me) I figured playing with my feet wouldn't take too long to learn. Thankfully, it has not and I'm proud to say that I've made remarkable growth and progress into the fabulous punk drummer I am now (I humbly admit). I'm also really glad that Shyam, Terry, and I decided to continue being in a band and now that we have acquired 2 fabulous guitarists, we are the rockin' group known as "Killinger Ave.," or "Chi Now Day-Dai Fung" if you're retarded.
What's even more amazing is how cohesive we are as a group; there really are no individual "stars" that seek to name the band after themselves (except for maybe Terry's offer to change the band's name to "Terry and the T's" but we're onto him ...) or gigantic ego trips that erupt into incessant quarrels, similar to giving 5 eight year-old girls 4 barbie dolls and telling them to share. We are all very unified in goals, visions, musical tastes, and more importantly, sexual positions. Given our musical drives, talents, and serious attitudes about the band, I expect success and longevity from this band. We are going to rock your moms and all I have to say is BE READY, cuz' we're coming in like a proctologist's finger into a patient's asshole ... (I apologize for that last comment. That was truly distasteful and unnecessary. I deserve to be spanked by several rugged gentlemen.) Anyhow, we kick ass and we're gonna keep getting better, so hide your attractive young sisters and BE PREPARED for ... KILLINGER AVE.!
Thank you.