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Mike Tyson's Punch Out!!

It's a good game and all, but I'm not so sure it requires two exclamation marks in the title.Glass Joe's a fucking joke.

Mike Tyson's Punch Out!! - The story of Little Mac goes like this. A young midget with a dream decides to become a professional boxer. So the young midget decides to fight against monstrous giants with testicles two times the size of his head. Young midget dies ten seconds into his first fight. The end.

Graphics - Very Good - The wacky opponents and their reactions to being punched are great. I love the cartoony look to this game. Don Flamenco steals my heart.

Control - Excellent - Dodging, blocking, punching, and uppercutting can all be perfected by your second fight. You'll need perfection too for the later fights.

Challenge - Pretty God Damn Hard - It's not too hard at first, but when you get to the World Circuit that's when the challenge really kicks in. Piston Honda and Bald Bull come back for revenge and then there's Super "Randy" Macho Man "Savage" who comes at you like a furious Robin Leech clone on steroids. They're going to beat your little ass into a bloody pulp if you're not prepared.

Gameplay - Amazing - Boxing blows, there's no changing my mind on that. But there's no way you can't have fun when you're fighting a fat guy with a little blue crown who's pants fall down as you pummel his bandaged belly button. I almost feel bad for King Hippo because I'm fairly certain that he's retarded.

My New Goal In Life - To be just like Mac and beat up people five times my size with the help of my incompetent trainer and shameless advertiser of the Nintendo Fun Club, Doc Louis. Doc rocks my midget cock.

M is for Malnourished