My Favorite QUOTES

Hey y'all. Here's some quotes I've heard, made up..... or yeah.... So, email me if you guys can think of anything else for me to put up here.

THE quotes

Why are wrong numbers never busy?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
Chickens: The only food animal you eat before they're born and after they're dead.
If it weren't for electricity we'd be watchin TV in candlelight.
Never argue with a fool, he may be doing the same thing.
Never wear a baseball cap to an interview unless the job is an umpire.
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the container?
If you've got melted chocolate on your hands, you're eating it too slow.
Mosquito: an insect that makes flies look good after all.
Free puppies: half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbours dog
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
You know you're too stressed if you can hear mimes.
If the shoe fits, find another on just like it.
You've had one too many cokes when you don't sweat, you carbonate.
Her vocabulary was as bad as like, whatever.
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
Why do psychics have to ask for your name?
I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gaveme the axe.
If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends?
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I've never had knee surgery on any other part of my body.

MORE of THE quotes

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who came up with,
How do they get the deer to cross at the yellow sign?
Only in America... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
Never use while sleeping... (instruction on Conair hair dryer)
When your dad is mad and asks you,
I always wanted to be someone, but I guess I should have been more specific.
Never eat more than you can lift.
People never say
Why do they have
Change in evitable, except from a vending machine.
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
A closed mind is a good thing to lose.
The time to repair a roof is when the sun is shining.
All generalizations are false.
eh.
You are what you think.

Famous Last Words