Greetings and salutations, web surfers,
Dark feelings, feelings of abandonment, deceit, and corruption, lash their way through the cheers of the crowd tonight. I feel cold, knowing that there was some treacherous deed done. After all, what a horrible way to end the professional life of a sport, the greatest sport. But, then again, I knew it was going to happen. I knew, ever since I heard the news that there was going to be a lock-out next season. I always knew that the final sign of the coming apocalypse would be Tampa Bay winning Lord Stanley’s Cup.
Indeed. It had to happen. But why so horribly? Why so unsportsmanlike? So dishonourably? Looking back at it now, I’m even more certain than at the time that some money had exchanged hands under the table, far from America’s seeing eyes, to ensure that the home team won over the foreign invaders, the reds, the commies. There are no officials employed by the NHL that could be that bad. That is, unless severe budget cuts had to be made to open up more free cash for the players. In which case, a lock-out is exactly the right solution. But these referees were not blind – they did make the occasional call, most of them bad. It was the final call that proved it to me once and for all, the tripping call that forced Dave Andreychuck to win his precious Stanley Cup from the penalty box – and, frankly, what could have made the situation more appropriate? But this call was made in response to a previous call, where a Lightning got a stick in the forehead. Iginla was arguing with the ref, the brain dead announcers assumed he disagreed with the call. I could see the truth, however. I knew what was really going on. Iginla wasn’t arguing the call. He was telling the ref to call it both ways. After all, over the past three games Tampa Bay had been literally picking the Flames apart, with plenty of undeclared penalties dirty enough to shame hockey’s greatest goons, while Calgary spent many undeserved minutes in the penalty box. One specific incident I remember is a crosschecking call, for an action that I would not even deem a love-pat. The Tampa Bay player didn’t even flinch, for Christ’s sake. Is this the conduct that we want from our champion team? One of brutal destruction, and quickly killing the honour of the game?
Oh, what a way to go out. The Holy Grail being taken by a team that has often been considered one of if not the worst in the league. I could think of a million better endings. Shit, have the long-defunct Ottawa 67’s crawl out of the woodwork, and win the sacred cup in a fair and even match-up. Except Khabibulin would have to wear period goalie equipment, and the 67 players would be given curved stick blades. Shit, forget the blades, the 67’s don’t need them. The point is, if this were a fair contest, the cup would be in the hands of those weed-smoking, free-healthcaring, Chretien-hating-yet-can’t-stop-electing (well, until recently) Canadians. Then, we could have an NHL in Canada, and the cup could be passed around the Canucks, Canadiens, Flames and Senators. Hell, bring back the Nordiques and Jets, and we’ll have a great time, while the Americans work on roster funding tactics. After all, they were the ones who corrupted this great game. Whoever said ‘money is the root of all evil’ was onto something.
Don’t be fooled, all you unbelievers out there. This is not the only sign of the beginning of the end. I do recall reading a story in the Boston Metro, that fine free-news publication, about the recent activities of the church in Chicago. It seems that priests, under the order of the archdiocese, refused to give communion to anyone publicly showing their support of gay rights. While the church should be allowed to hold their own opinion on the controversial topic, they surely should not refuse the blessing! How uncatholic can you really be? Was it not Christ who said, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone”? And, let’s face it, the Catholic Church has had more than its fair share of sin and corruption over the many years of its existence, including the recent child molestation charges brought upon priests in our own area. Further, doesn't it say in one of Jesus' parables, "And the king shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, in as much as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me," which for the layman roughly translates to "whatever good you do or don’t do to someone else you do it or don’t do it to me"? So who do these people think they are, not blessing these poor folks who are just showing their support for their fellow humans? These supposed messengers of Christ had better get their fucking act together, and start behaving like Christ. Because, let’s face it, Jesus would not have turned anyone away, as long as they believed and had faith. Jesus was willing to forgive any sins. And, frankly, even if homosexuality has been officially deemed a sin by our current Pope – who, I believe, is more responsible than Cardinal Law for the reassigning of pedophile priests – that doesn’t mean it is a sin to support the idea of treating these people like other human beings. Hell, this is just like throwing the lepers out of the community, only this disease is not so communicable. And was Jesus not said to have walked among the lepers, and healed them? So why can’t our church?
Fuck, I’m rambling again. I guess my point is if the Catholic Church wants to remain the powerhouse institution that it is, it had better fucking shape up. The followers of Christ had better start acting like Christ, get their fucking dicks out of the little boys’ asses (and yet they were still allowed to bless and refuse blessings? Nice example you guys have set), and start doing their jobs. For, as the fucking Bible tells us, Christ’s salvation is for everyone willing to accept it, sinner or no. Does history teach these morons nothing? They’re fueling a conflict, which will certainly lead to violence, and let’s face it, we have all the fucking violence we need right now. This situation can be solved simply by remembering those four totemic letters that cover so many bumper stickers in our fair city of Boston: WWJD. I admit, I hate this question, and do not apply it to my own life at all. But, then again, I never made the vow to like all these priests and cardinals did. Vows which were broken in Chicago on Sunday, May 30th, 2004.
By the way, to set this record straight: I’ve read the Bible. It says sodomy is a sin. It says that sex within a gender is a sin. It says that sex with animals is a sin. It does not say anywhere that preferring the company of the same sex is a sin. So, to whoever made the Church’s stance on homosexuality, go blow it out your ass.
Until next time,
Goose
©2004 by Goose
