Greetings and salutations,
Once again, web surfers, I am at a loss. You all know by now of the miseries I have been suffering, most of them well-deserved for being an asshole. But now, I seem to have hit a new low.
Let's start with the good - my chem notebook has been found. Not in time to save me from failing the last quiz, but that's another story. Also, my roommate has managed to scrounge up a copy of the Zelda collection for the Gamecube. So now, I can play Zelda II in all that free time I don't have.
Well, that about wraps up the good. Today, my computer died. It just up and stopped working. Remember, I have a paper due on Friday, and all my work up to this point is on that non-accessible hard drive. Of course, the computer is still under warranty, so any problems with it will be fixed, but not by Friday. And so, once again, I find myself royally screwed. Call him god, allah, whatever - someone up there doesn't like me. I mean, this has been the Spinal Tap of semesters for me. I don't see any way of recovering from this in time to pass half my courses. And now I'm expected to be a tour guide, telling kids how wonderful college life is? I can see it now:
"Let me tell you, college is fun. Not fun like going on a picnic fun, or riding a rollercoaster fun, or drinking until you black out fun... well, maybe a little of that last one. The point is, it's not like most other fun things you can comprehend. It's more like shaving your scrotum fun. Of course, I wouldn't know from personal experience (heh heh), but from the conditions of our dorm restrooms - particularly the floors, sinks and showers - I'd say some kids know what I'm talking about."
There is something to be said about college, though. I would never be up all night, five nights in a row, to watch the India vs. Pakistan cricket webcast at home. Shelling out those 100 bucks for myself alone simply wouldn't be worth it. Besides, who wants to watch cricket alone? No, I'd much rather be watching it here, hijacking a computer lab with my Indian buddies so we can play it on a projector.
It's already 20 to 5, and I'm running out of things to say. This has been a long-as-hell day, beginning all the way back on Sunday. It's going to be one hell of a week.
Speaking of which, this is the final week before Easter. Passover is here, the holiday that Jesus was crucified for celibrating. If that doesn't tell you something, I don't know what will. So, to honor the memory of a great man, who was nailed to a tree for suggesting that it would be nice for us to treat each other decently, I have rented a VHS copy of Jesus Christ Superstar, which will be playing non-stop until Easter Monday, at which time it will be returned to the video store, and I'll have to shell out a few bucks for keeping it past due. So, if you want to see it, I will be charging a small admission fee. But, then again, isn't that what religion is all about?
Few people realize this, even though it's posted on my door, but I am a reverend. I have my own church, and we hold services approximately whenever the hell I feel like it. You should all come, and be baptised into the Church of the Almighty Goose. Our services are complete with psalms by Monster Magnet, our communal host is specially designed to bring us all to a higher plain of understanding for a few hours, and there's plenty of sacramental beer for all. The only act of contrition we have involves the three-story beer bong. For the really bad crimes, unprotected sex with some STD-infected harlot. Non-STD harlots for the rest of us. What can I say? I have a vision.
Until next time,
Goose
©2004 by Goose
