Elizabeth Haas PSY-150/Withrow December 6, 2003 October 27th Alternate Assessment Assignment Victim vs. Enabler Too many times I have walked a fine line between victim and enabler. I do feel that even though I may find myself blaming others for some situations, I find further down the road that it has given me other opportunities and growth. For the most part, many of the common statements that reveal victim mentality I have said at some point or another, sometimes repeatedly. The statement “I am always so busy, I never have time for myself” I use too often. These are excuses I give my husband. In reality, if I went to work at eight in the morning rather than nine or ten, I wouldn’t have to bring work home or feel that I am overwhelmed. The biggest factor of this problem is my procrastination. I do try to take on more than I can handle, having a hard time saying no. The truth is the reason I feel overwhelmed is caused by my own actions. The statement “I do all the giving around here and get nothing in return” is common as well. This also is parallel to the problem of not having enough time. The need for a perfectly clean house, with everything in it’s place is not a goal shared by my husband and even former roommates. When I am vacuuming and dusting while they watch football or basketball on television often makes me feel angry and that I am the only who does anything around the house or even cares what the house looks like. I strongly feel that my home is a reflection of myself so for it to be untidy leaves a bad impression. I am learning that a “lived in” look can be okay as I cannot be the only person on the planet who has to let the housework slide in lieu of something else, include a little rest and relaxation. “That’s not fair” is a perfect description of thoughts I sometimes have about my brother. With the typical sibling rivalry, I sometimes feel that my brother gets more attention and help from my parents than I do. Too often I forget the special circumstances that involve my brother. He has epilepsy as well as a terminal disease. When I catch myself feeling jealous, I am immediately hit with guilt because I am healthy. To be honest, the fairness phrase also describes my feelings concerning my brother. It does not seem fair that he has to struggle with these to illnesses and must have to face his fate on a daily basis. Elizabeth Haas PSY-150/Withrow December 6, 2003 Periodic Assignment #7 Part One: Alcoholics Anonymous From my experience at the AA meeting this evening, I found that the group therapy format used for this program might also implement other aspects of other therapies. For example, some recovering alcoholics feel distress enhanced by the alcohol regarding irrational and self-defeating beliefs such as behavior exhibited when in the need of rational-emotive therapy. There were also signs of methods used in stress-inoculation therapy such as self-talk. When one is battling alcoholism and its urges, though they have the support of sponsors and hopefully family members, they must be able to “talk” to themselves in order to replace negative, anxiety-evoking thoughts with positive, coping thoughts. The meeting I attended was an open speaker meeting. I went with my father who just recently received his six-year chip. This was the first time I had ever attended anything related to alcoholism with my father. Sadly, it took a school assignment to get me there. The speaker told his story to an audience of about a hundred people from all walks of life. His story could have been my own family’s. This man was a traveling salesman who was on the road during the workweek and home on the weekends just like my father. His son after a certain age would usually leave the room when his father came in and his daughter was rebellious and headed for trouble as a teen. It was hauntingly familiar. The speaker repeatedly related alcohol as his way of “connecting to the environment around him, as he was painfully shy when sober. Before attending this meeting, I never felt I was affected or even a part of my father’s alcoholism and was never included in his recovery. Yet after this evening, I can begin to see how it affected my life and me. This was a very emotional and painful experience for me. The camaraderie of this group of people was overwhelming. I once watched a television show where a lady wished for a box, like a musical box, that when opened would give her a standing ovation. She felt that this box would give her encouragement to face the difficulties life throws at you. It seemed to me that the encouragement, goodwill to others, and support offered by all at the meeting was almost like the lady’s box. Every step, even the baby steps, were greeted with applause, cheers, and positive encouragement. One lady celebrated her fiftieth year of sobriety this evening, bringing down the house with applause and cheers. The response to the first-timers was just as touching and encouraging. This environment seems to be rare place where showing emotion is okay, hugging strangers are commonplace, and no one pretends to be someone else. Part Two: Suicide Help A person who is in need of help might not even be aware that they need help or may not be able to seek it on their own. Sometimes a person who is suicidal may need to be reminded that there is treatment to help them with their depression. These treatments can even be very quick in relieving a person of their depression. There are many things that a person can do to help another person who is showing sign of being suicidal. When trying to help, acknowledgment of the feelings of the one who is suicidal is important, even if they appear disturbed. One should also be an active listener, even repeating some of the statements back to them. This will let them know that you are listening to them. One must try to give them hope, reminding them that their feelings are temporary. This must also be done without inducing any feelings of guilt. It is also important to show love and encouragement, allowing them to show their feelings. Let them know you understand and are there for them. A person with suicidal tendencies should feel that it is okay for them to feel the way they are feeling even though it is distorted. Pamper them by feeding them if they are hungry, even listening to their favorite music if it will make them feel better. It is very important to help them get some help. It is best if they make that call themselves. Encourage them to get counseling, drug rehabilitation, doctor’s appointment, or whatever is necessary. If you need to be the one placing the calls, that is okay too. You should remove and make inaccessible any items the person could use to harm themselves. Remember that the risk of suicide is greater as the depression lifts. In this state, the person may now have the energy to follow through with the act. Be aware of community mental health facilities and national suicide hotlines.
