Bleeding On The Inside . . .For Real . .
Mood:  hug me
Now Playing: "All Along The Watchtower" Jimi Hendrix
I think I'm going to book an appointment to get an endoscopy done. I think my gastric ulcer has gotten much worse. I have to get that checked out soon before I burn a hole through the wall of my stomch and food and acid get into my abdominal cavity.

First I'm going to get a breath test done to see if maybe it's bacteria that's agrevating the ulcer but I really doubt it. I know it's being aggrevated by stress. That's what it always is. But having an ulcer that's induced by stress isn't very common . . .it's usually caused by certain foods or bacteria. In order for someone to produce enough acid in their stomach to eat away at their lining they would have to be seriously fucking tweaking out. Like not just "Oh my God everything is so fucking annoying and stressful in my life, whaaaaaaaaaa" but to the point of constantly shaking and thinking about what a beautiful fucking release it would be to put a gun in their mouth and splatter their own brains across the room. . .kinda like me. Maybe that will give you an idea of how stressed out my current situation has me.

Anyway, depending on how bad the ulcer is I'll either just get a higher dose of acid-reducer than usual, have it cauterised (which is just so much fun . . .), or I'll be getting emergency surgery. Goody.

Well, I'm going to go have a quick coffee with my friend Paul. I sort of heard about the bad news that he'd wanted to tell me from Elaine. But I don't know very much about it. Anyway, I don't even know if he'd want me saying anything about it, so I won't.

Oh, I ate half a cup of dressing yesterday, by the way. Managed to keep that down. Still living off green tea though . . I'm not even hungry anymore . .