Now Playing: "Unhappy" The Salads
It took me hours to fall asleep lastnight. I kept shaking and my stomach kept turning. I ended up falling asleep at around 5:00AM or so . . .
Today I woke up at around noon and I just couldn't drag myself out of bed even though I was wide awake. I just pulled the blanket up to my ears and stared at the TV for a couple hours even though I didn't like what was on. I had a nightmare about him and It. . .I've never felt so hollow . . .
I feel empty.
I feel alone.
I feel betrayed.
I feel cornered.
I feel second best.
I don't feel special.
I don't feel loved.
I don't feel safe.
I don't feel secure.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do . . .I'm hanging on with bloody fingernails screaming "DO something to help us! You're killing us! You're bringing in things that will rip us both to shreds! Why??" Everything I'm trying so hard to save . . .doesn't want to be saved despite what it says . . .
I've never created so much love in my life . . .and to have it spat on . . .just kills the last little bit of my spirit that was still alive. . .
So many things I would do, I don't get that in return . . .