An Update
I've decided to start writing in this thing again but before I do I guess I'll bring you guys up to date first:

I've graduated. December 2005. You wouldn't believe how good it feels to have that monkey off my back at last.

I don't live with my parents anymore. I moved out on December 28th. I have an apartment with Chad in Cambridge. Haven't spoken to my mother since I left and I don't plan on doing so in the future.

I don't work at CDT anymore. They fired on December 2nd because they found out I was moving. Of course, they didn't say that, they just gave me a ROE with my paycheque saying that I was fired. Funny thing is that when the sent me a ROE two weeks later with my final paycheque the ROE said I'd quit. Fucking weirdness. Ah well, I hated that place anyway.

And So She's Gone....
Mood:  blue
CDT-CAT is a soul sucking misery machine. My favourite person at the company quit on Friday. I love her, she was so nice to be around, very bright and cheerful. She's a strong girl, her husband died last year and she's raising her son alone but she's still kept a bright outlook on life and she just made me happy when I was around her. Unfortunately office-bullying finally broke her. She ended up bursting into tears and leaving. She hasn't come back. I miss her.







"I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice. But still, the place you live in is that much more grey"-"Red"(Morgan Freeman) in The Shawshank Redemption

Cat's Top Ten Things That Actually Hurt
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: with fire
Common question in the past few days have been "Did that hurt?" in reference to my tattoo with then leads onto my piercings. No one believes that my ink didn't hurt and they REALLY don't believe something like my tongue piercing didn't hurt even though it's hurt the least out of any of the piercings I have/had. So here's a list of the ten most painful things I've ever done. These things ACTUALLY hurt.

From most to least:

1. Having your wisdom teeth removed while not properly frozen: This is by far the most traumatic thing that has happened to me. If you knew the kind of things I've gone through, you know that's saying a lot. Nobody believed me when I said I was in pain. "It's all in your head. You've had 3 needles." My mother even came in to make fun of me. One of the nurses laughed at me. When the dentist broke my tooth in half I let out a scream that could be heard throughout the entire dental office and I sobbed uncontrollably. I kept asking for it to stop and the dentist said he would, but he didn't. I think that bothered me the most. He treated me like I was a whining child and wouldn't tell me what he was doing or what he was going to do. That added to me being frightened.

So I pretty much felt two of my teeth being broken and cut in half and then ripped out of my jaw. Lovely. To this day I will not go see a dentist for anything. I still have two more wisdom teeth that need to be removed. I won't get them removed. I have 5 cavities that need to be filled. I won't get them filled. I've broken down and started bawling just thinking about having to go.

2. Breaking a femur: For those of you who didn't pay attention in school, your femur is your thigh bone. It's denser than concrete. I pray that none of you ever have to look down at your thigh and see your femur bulging out. It's almost as gross as it is painful. Showing off while skateboarding is not a good idea if you don't know what you're doing. I learned that the hard way.

3. Having a kidney infection: I wouldn't wish one of these on my worst enemy. I was layed up for a couple of weeks with a kidney infection. I had to turn over and vomit every 5 minutes and whenever I moved it felt like someone was kicking me in the back with steel-toed boots. Getting out of bed was near impossible. I had to have my mother and my father on each side of me because I was in too much pain to walk.

4. Having your friend pierce your belly button: Again, I learn things the hard way. I was 14 and I have no clue why I did this. It actually took 10 minutes. I was layed back on the couch swearing a blue streak and sucking back on a cigarette like there was no tomorrow. Eventually it got infected and I had to remove it. I will never have my navel pierced again by anyone. Ever. Just thinking about it makes my skin crawl.

5. Nipple piercing: Ow. Motherfucking OUCH. Why did I think that was a good idea? Why did I get it done twice? I'll never know. Teenagers do stupid things. Maybe, had I got it done at a place that wasn't so shady, it might have hurt less. But I didn't, and it hurt a lot. I won't ever be doing that again.

6. Brazilian waxing: This is where you wax all the hair from your pubic mound all the way back to your anus. Waxing your inner labia is no walk in the park. I've actually cried a few times doing this. Also, accidentally having scalding hot Brazilian wax poured onto your happy bits hurts for many days afterward.

7. Being electrocuted: Now, being electrocuted can actually be fun but when you're talking about electrocution that involves getting 3rd degree burns from the inside, that's a whole other story. The 2nd and 1st degree burns are what will actually hurt you themost those, and they'll hurt for about 13 hours after ward. The 3rd degree burns, having melted all your nerves will just feel like cold ice cubes. This kind of injury can be as embarrassing as it is painful.

8. Having your genitals ripped by a fence: Yes, this actually happened to me. I had a piece of my inner labia ripped off by a fence. My advice to all of you would be to not try getting away from police by climbing over a fence when you're wearing a skirt and no panties. Don't do it. I may have gotten away, but I'd still rather of not ripped my inner labia off.

9. Getting your arm caught in a conveyor belt: This happened a long time ago so I don't remember how much it hurt. I do, however, remember that the part of my arm that was freed from the conveyor belt was purple, yellow, green, and blue so I it probably hurt a lot. It was pretty gross too. My mother nearly threw up when she saw my arm. On the plus side, it didn't leave a scar.

10. Falling down a long flight of stairs: There is no good way to fall down the stairs. I've fallen down the stairs several times. None of them were good.

Honorable mentions: Getting shot in the tit with a paint ball gun, getting shot in the head with a paint ball gun, getting 3ft of rug burn, stepping on a nail, setting yourself on fire, slicing your palm open on a broken bottle, and slamming your fingers in a car door.


Hopefully my pain has taught you to use common sense. Piercing should be done by professionals, if you get a UTI medicate that motherfucker before it spreads to your kidneys, never walk down the stairs alone when you're drunk, and NEVER trust a dentist. They're evil.

Safety first, kids!!!






"No pain, no gain." ~Unknown

Dead Bodies Everywhere!
Mood:  quizzical
Now Playing: witth the evil monkey in my closet.
I got to see Body Worlds2 at the Ontario Science Centre this weekend and it was AMAZING! It was artist and educational at the same time.

I actually thought I would be grossed out by all the bodies and organs and such but I wasn't, I was more in awe of how beautiful it all looked. I think that only times I was disturbedt/upset is when I saw the face of the one man whose body was split up into 6-8 pieces side-by-side. Also, they were 8-24 week old fetuses on display and those kind of upset me. I couldn't stay in that room for too long, it kept making me think of my miscarriage. The rest of the displays didn't phase me though, because the bodies were skinned and you can't tell what they used to look like when they were alive.

I can't even wrap my mind around some of the displays...they looked very difficult to do if not impossible. I was afraid, being my clumsy self, that I might trip and break something int here. Wouldn't want to do that..I might be made part of the exhibit! LoL.

"Suicide By Fat" was a display that made me really glad that I'm not obese anymore. They had a man slices vertically into 5-6 pieces. You could see all the fat the was all over his organs. It was shocking to see. Sadly, I'm sure some people saw that display and then went and had McDonald's later. A lot of people seem to know how badly they're treating their bodies but don't seem to care. I'm not sure why. I mean, eating lots of yummy food made me happy while I was eating it but I can't imagine it being worth it knowing how miserable my later years were going to be if I kept on down that path.



"Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a new dog, you get remarried, you owe ten million dollars in medical bills but you work hard for thirty five years and you pay it back and then one day you have a massive stroke, your whole right side is paralyzed, you have to limp along the streets and speak out of the left side of your mouth and drool but you go into rehabilitation and regain the power to walk and the power to talk and then one day you step off a curb at Sixty-seventh Street, and BANG you get hit by a city bus and then you die. Maybe." ~Denis Leary

I Am SO Bored
Mood:  lazy
Yup, I was right. I'm bored to tears today. I can't go outside because the sunlight gives me a headache, can't sketch because my fingers are fucked up, my head is to foggy to do any creative writing.

It pisses me off because Thursday and Friday I wanted to work on some sketches for Chad's tattoo. I'd really like to re-sketch the chromatic dragon now that I've gotten his imput on the original sketch. Just change the pose and reference some Monster Manual books for the kind of horns Chad would like the dragon to have. It's fucking cake, but I still can't do it because I'm so used to doing certain shapes with my left hand. I like to draw with both my hands, it turns out much better that way. Oh well.

I can't wait for the swelling to go down. I can't zip my zippers or open a can of 7up for myself and it's just friggin' annoying to have to get someone to do something that simple for you because you have the stupidest minor injury ever.

I hate being on comp in general because I always make fun of Chad's co-worker "Churchy McBible" because he's always off on comp because 'his back hurts'. HA! Fuck you, buddy! My back hurts all the fucking time. At least you're getting paid $22.00PH, I get paid $9.00PH for doing more back-breaking labour and gross disgusting shit than you do. If you're going to be doing manual labour 40 hours a week that's just a fact of life. If you're a labourer and you don't come home most days with your back hurtin', you haven't be doing your job right.




"Grasp your opportunities, no matter how poor your health; nothing is worse for your health than boredom." ~Mignon McLaughlin

Now THAT Hurt!
Mood:  lucky
I hurt myself at work today. I could of very well killed myself and it's not like I would of died doing something daring like sky diving or maybe an interesting way like I fell into a compactor got crushed..no, it was really dorky and stupid and not an interesting way to go.

I could of died plugging in a stupid radio!

It's stupid, really. I went to go plug in the radio so we could all listen to music because the warehouse was way troo quiet. So I plug it and all it's all BZZZZZTTTT and shot flames out and then knocked me on my ass. I was stunned for a second but then I just went and washed the scorch marks off my hand and continued on working. I figured that it was my own stupid fault for not asking if the socket was faulty, I just assumed it was okay because there was a copier pluged into the socket above it.

5 minutes later everyone in the warehouse came running towards me. "Are you OK?!?!" and I was like "Yeah, why?" and Krissy held up the cord to the radio, the metal tongs on the plug were melted. Then I looked down at my hand and realized that my middle and index finger were white purple and red and I only realized then that'd I actually got fried pretty good.

They were all just kinda shocked that I shrugged it off. They shouldn't be though. I'm in a lot of pain everyday because of my spine and arms. I've kept on working after pulling muscles in my shoulders and neck. I'm not a complainer. If I say I'm in a pain and need to stop, you'd better believe I'm in a lot of fucking pain because I can push through a lot.

Anyway, some of the burns charred all the layers of my skin and killed the nerves so that will be permanent damage but most of the parts of my fingers that got burn just hurt a lot and I'll be fine in a couple of days. I get to take tomorrow off with pay. I really don't want to but, what can I do? I'm required to lift heavy boxes and machinery on a daily basis and I can't even hold a softball right now. I feel bad but it'sa not like I injured myself on purpose.

EDIT:I'd like to add that Krissy actually seemed more concerned that the plug on her aunt's radio got melted rather than all the layers of skin and fat on my fingers had gotten melted. Go figure that. She actually seemed mad at me for it. Hello?! I'm injured here! I didn't injur myself just to break your aunt's stupid radio!

The cord on the radio was replacable, the radio itself is a clunker that's older than I am anyway. Not a big loss. I could of died but, the radio is more important, I guess.

Way to be, Kirissy. Way to be.


"You need to go see Dr. Ivan Von Vinterough."~"Diggs" (My co-worker)

And On A Lighter Note...My Tattoo Experience
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Anger- Skinny Puppy
Well, I've mentioned my tattoo so ya'll know I finally got it so I'll just share my experience and what I think about it and not my co-workers pissing me off about it :p

I was scared to death just booking the appointment so I figured the day of my appointment I was either going to A.) Chicken out and not show up B.) Get to Stigmata, have my named called, and then run out the door screaming or C.) Cry in the chair.

Well, I got to Stigmata, Chad was there so I knew he wasn't gonna let me run out. So there I sat in the waiting area all nervous and sweaty palmed. I could hear the buzzing of a tattoo gun. Really set me on edge, those things sound like wasps. I've tangoed with a wasp twice and both times I ended up in the hospital so you can see why buzzing would make me uneasy...luckily I'd brought my Mp3 player, so I could just lose myself in a really loud song if need be.

When I get to the tattooing area he cleans off my back, he hands were really freakin' cold and it tickled like a sonofabitch so I had a mini giggle-fit that kind put me at ease a bit. He goes to put the stencil on but my pants were too high. Chad tried to fold my pants but I just got tired of it and said "Here!" and yanked my pants down so I was all plumber-crack chic :p.

When I finally got the stencil put on and sat down in the chair I got the fucking jitters like you wouldn't believe. I didn't look in the mirror but I'm sure my face must have been white as a sheet because I could just feel the blood draining.

---First line, here we go----

That's IT?! I've been panicking for a fucking month because of THAT?! It was an annoying scratching feeling. I couldn't believe I'd gotten myself so worked up over it. Steve asked me how it felt and I said "Pretty annoying." and it was annoying, I felt like smacking him and saying bugger off. LoL

The whole thing took about 30mins. I turned off my walkman as I got used to the buzzing nose and then I got really relaxed and went in and out of a nap. Parts of the top lettering stung a bit but it was no worse than the scratches I've gotten from work, or play fighting with a cat. I didn't cry like I thought I would, I just said "Ow, that sucks". Parts of the bottom lettering actually tickled a bit. I had to try really hard to not to laugh so I wouldn't screw up his work.

When I got out of the chair to have him show me it in the mirror I almost fell down because my legs had fallen asleep. Chad and Steve both laughed at me. I got Chad to take a picture of the finished tatto and then Steve put a bandgage over it. (Still had cold hands, tickled like a sonofabitch *again*).

It was overall an enjoyable experience. Steve seems like a nice guy and he does good work. I'm looking forward to having him do more work on me now that I'm not petrified of getting inked. (Don't worry you guys, I'm not going to go nuts and look like a biker chick . . .unless I become a rockstart..but when's that going to happen, really?)


AFTER

I think the worst part of the whole tattoo process is taking the bandage off. I screamed like a little girl and swore a blue streak when Chad took it off. It was an unexpected back wax that I didn't ask for.

It's still healing right now, it is tender and it's started to itch today. I would love to take my nails and just scratch the fuck out of it but I can't, I have to settle for slapping it with a ruler which is nowhere near as effective. Also, having to wear my pants low makes me look ridiculous but it's shockingly more comfortable than wearing them normal...not that I'm going to make a habit out of it in the future.




"A genuine tattoo.... tells a story. I like stories and tattoos, no matter how well done, and if they don't tell a story that involves you emotionally, then they're just there for decoration, then they're not a valid tattoo. There has to be some emotional appeal or they're not, to my way of thinking, a real tattoo. It tells people what you are and what you believe in, so there's no mistakes." *Leo

Don't Like Me? Good For You!
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Living Dead Girl- Rob Zombie
I'm so fucking sick of Kris and Karen I could scream. They're all smiles and sunshine to my face but as soon as I turn my back they talk shit about me. FUCK YOU. I see through you like a pair of crotchless panties.

If you don't like me and you've got a problem with me, let's take it outside. I'm game if you are. I'll knock you on your big fat dwarf-lookin' ass you two-faced cunt dripping. Otherwise, shut the fuck up and stop pretending like you're my friend. I don't need your fucking fake smile to get through my day. You aren't important to me. The last thing I fucking need is another phoney friend. You either like me or you don't, I don't really give a shit wether you do or not.



"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. " ~Dr. Seuss

Everyone's A Critic...
Well, everyone found out about my tattoo today. I have my pants slug low so they don't touch my tattoo and harm it, and I tripped over my pants legs. So Krissy asked why I was wearing my pants so low, and I said I didn't want them rubbing against my scab. "Scab from what?" so I showed her and she asked how much it cost.

All of a sudden everyone's going on about how they can't believe I paid $100 for my ink. How I could of gotten it so much cheaper, Steve (the artist who did it) is a crook, blah blah blah.

Yeah, I could of gotten it done for $50 or so at a crappy palour where they reuse the needles over and over again, use crappy inks, have shitty artists with no depth control and shakey hands. Hell, there's a 50/50 chance they might not even have an autoclave. But it'd be cheaper, so why not, right?Money before health!! Yeah!!!

Yeah, we'll see how tightly you can cling onto that dollar when you're in the hospital with hepatitis.

Steve's a a good artist. I *love* the work he did on my back. It turned out perfect, and it was a great experience. He's a keeper and I'll be getting more work done by him for sure. My co-workers can piss off.

Also, they went on and on about I have the bandage off too early and it's going to get infected and how a some people they know kept their on for a week and that I should put polysporin on it a few times a day to help it heal better....right. I don't need a bandage on it trapping all the sweat and moisture on it. *That* will get it infected. And polysporin..yeah...it hinders the healing process of a tattoo and fucks with the ink. Sorry, I'll pass.

None of them even have tattoos but they *must* be experts on it because they know a couple people who have tattoos. Plus, they're older than me so that means they know more about everything that I know about. It's always like that. I hate people like that. *I* don't automatically assume I know more about everything than someone else because they're younger than I am, that's stupid.





Information's pretty thin stuff unless mixed with experience. ~Clarence Day, The Crow's Nest

Stupid co-worker. Bah!

My co-worker Michelle (who is the one who argues with her boyfriend or makes kissy faces at him when she's supposed to be working) drives me up the wall. On Thurdays when I was cleaning inside a crawl space, I jumped up, screamed, and hit my head because I thought I saw a Black Widow spider. I'm normally okay with spiders aslong as they don't crawl into my hair, but Black Windows scare the fuck out of me.

Anyway, on Friday I was cleaning somebodys wine cellar and sometimes when I'd reach into the tubes to clean them, I'd end up pulling out a hand full of little spiders. Everyutime that happened I'd say "Eww." because it is fucking gross. Everytime I said eww Michelle would say "OMG, quit freaking out. You're such a baby. You've been freaking out since yesterday." Um...excuse me? Since when is saying "Eww." considered *freaking out*? STFU. At least I wasn't the one near crying when we tipped over a box that had urine in it. It's fucking urine, if you can't deal with it, you're in the wrong line of work. Just step away, and let me get the mop if it bothers you so badly. Don't just stand in my way and make a big scene out of it.

Later that day we were talking about if we were going to go down to New Orleans to help clean up all the wreckage and stuff and it got onto the subject of the horrible things happening to the people who are still down there. I said that I had trouble watching it on the news because it made me cry. She's like "Why would you cry?" um...maybe because peoples homes and everything they ever had has been destroyed? They're running around wondering if their loved ones are alive or dead? They are starving? People are dying all around them? They're children are being raped? Do you need anymore reasons? and then she kind of laughed at me and was like "So what?"

Whatever, Michelle. You're right. I'm just bleeding heart. The whole Hurricane Katrina is no big deal and I shouldn't even care. Thank you for pointing that out.

*cough*selfish cunt*cough*

Also, she was bothering me because I was being "slow". i wasn't being slow, I was doing my job correctly by making sure all the dust from the dry wall was swept up even if the meant having to get down on my hands and knees, crawl under the staircase, and remove it with my hands. You're so quick because you don't do your job right. you miss spots, you forget to sweep or mop. I have to go around behind you and fix your messes. Sorry that I take pride in my work and don't want to do everything half assed.