Cat's Top Ten Things That Actually Hurt
Mood:
caffeinated
Now Playing: with fire
Common question in the past few days have been "Did that hurt?" in reference to my tattoo with then leads onto my piercings. No one believes that my ink didn't hurt and they REALLY don't believe something like my tongue piercing didn't hurt even though it's hurt the least out of any of the piercings I have/had. So here's a list of the ten most painful things I've ever done. These things ACTUALLY hurt.
From most to least:
1.
Having your wisdom teeth removed while not properly frozen: This is by far the most traumatic thing that has happened to me. If you knew the kind of things I've gone through, you know that's saying a lot. Nobody believed me when I said I was in pain.
"It's all in your head. You've had 3 needles." My mother even came in to make fun of me. One of the nurses laughed at me. When the dentist broke my tooth in half I let out a scream that could be heard throughout the entire dental office and I sobbed uncontrollably. I kept asking for it to stop
and the dentist said he would, but he didn't. I think that bothered me the most. He treated me like I was a whining child and wouldn't tell me what he was doing or what he was going to do. That added to me being frightened.
So I pretty much felt two of my teeth being broken and cut in half and then ripped out of my jaw. Lovely. To this day I will not go see a dentist for anything. I still have two more wisdom teeth that need to be removed. I won't get them removed. I have 5 cavities that need to be filled. I won't get them filled. I've broken down and started bawling just thinking about having to go.
2.
Breaking a femur: For those of you who didn't pay attention in school, your femur is your thigh bone. It's denser than concrete. I pray that none of you ever have to look down at your thigh and see your femur bulging out. It's almost as gross as it is painful. Showing off while skateboarding is not a good idea if you don't know what you're doing. I learned that the hard way.
3.
Having a kidney infection: I wouldn't wish one of these on my worst enemy. I was layed up for a couple of weeks with a kidney infection. I had to turn over and vomit every 5 minutes and whenever I moved it felt like someone was kicking me in the back with steel-toed boots. Getting out of bed was near impossible. I had to have my mother and my father on each side of me because I was in too much pain to walk.
4.
Having your friend pierce your belly button: Again, I learn things the hard way. I was 14 and I have no clue why I did this. It actually took 10 minutes. I was layed back on the couch swearing a blue streak and sucking back on a cigarette like there was no tomorrow. Eventually it got infected and I had to remove it. I will never have my navel pierced again by anyone. Ever. Just thinking about it makes my skin crawl.
5.
Nipple piercing: Ow. Motherfucking OUCH. Why did I think that was a good idea? Why did I get it done twice? I'll never know. Teenagers do stupid things. Maybe, had I got it done at a place that wasn't so shady, it might have hurt less. But I didn't, and it hurt a lot. I won't ever be doing that again.
6.
Brazilian waxing: This is where you wax all the hair from your pubic mound all the way back to your anus. Waxing your inner labia is no walk in the park. I've actually cried a few times doing this. Also, accidentally having scalding hot Brazilian wax poured onto your happy bits hurts for many days afterward.
7.
Being electrocuted: Now, being electrocuted can actually be fun but when you're
talking about electrocution that involves getting 3rd degree burns from the inside, that's a whole other story. The 2nd and 1st degree burns are what will actually hurt you themost those, and they'll hurt for about 13 hours after ward. The 3rd degree burns, having melted all your nerves will just feel like cold ice cubes. This kind of injury can be as embarrassing as it is painful.
8.
Having your genitals ripped by a fence: Yes, this actually happened to me. I had a piece of my inner labia ripped off by a fence. My advice to all of you would be to not try getting away from police by climbing over a fence when you're wearing a skirt and no panties. Don't do it. I may have gotten away, but I'd still rather of not ripped my inner labia off.
9.
Getting your arm caught in a conveyor belt: This happened a long time ago so I don't remember how much it hurt. I do, however, remember that the part of my arm that was freed from the conveyor belt was purple, yellow, green, and blue so I it probably hurt a lot. It was pretty gross too. My mother nearly threw up when she saw my arm. On the plus side, it didn't leave a scar.
10.
Falling down a long flight of stairs: There is no good way to fall down the stairs. I've fallen down the stairs several times. None of them were good.
Honorable mentions: Getting shot in the tit with a paint ball gun, getting shot in the head with a paint ball gun, getting 3ft of rug burn, stepping on a nail, setting yourself on fire, slicing your palm open on a broken bottle, and slamming your fingers in a car door.
Hopefully my pain has taught you to use common sense. Piercing should be done by professionals, if you get a UTI medicate that motherfucker before it spreads to your kidneys, never walk down the stairs alone when you're drunk, and NEVER trust a dentist. They're evil.
Safety first, kids!!!
"No pain, no gain." ~Unknown