neW liFe~
wEll school is not as bad as i thot it would be~
i begin to quite enjoy classes.. teachers r fun, clasmates r cool and i mean it~ all kinds of people.. skatergurl to punk..a couple of eurasians..too bad not from my town..

my timetable rite now is almost like packed~ tiring thou to study e wholeday.. 1st day was much much siong... came back home late on sunday becuz of e appreciation dinner wit pst.. itz real cool man! am previllege to be able to go.. itz at Ritz Carlton!! loads of ministries people.. from usher all e way to CGL~ so cool! jus like business breakthru dinner..

Here i am~ another late nitez.. came back not long ago from ZM.. going to sleep soon.. yay tmr classes ends at 1pm! finally!! im able to see e sun again!

back from an awesome concert!! woo hoo~ lovve e dance man! rite now my ears are jus hearing things..(er..dats wad ears are for huh?!) wad i meant was dat deres tis irritating noise.. buzzing in my ears.. arrgh..

haiZ.. as e weekends draw closer.. e more sad i feel.. schools starting~ man~ i jus can't break dat cycle.. eva since pri sch.. when u'l jus wish dat mon will not come.. haa... yea.. me still quite in dat mood.. but not in sot.. cuz deres no sch on monday mah..

haiz.. jus enjoy wads left for me.. tmr gonna wake up reel early for svc.. yeah.. excited for it!

goodo's~

got back yesterday from a 4 days 3 nites retreat to SAF Changi Chalet.. was fun.. scary.. didn't know itz so near to e old changi hospital.. gosh.. trust me itz creepy! jus a 200m walk and TA DA ya dere~
jus a few banch of people from sot.. a reunion.. wad we did dere was eating, sleeping, watching, eating and sleeping... not much of event..

hmm.. counting down to sch.. yes! i'm back to books again.. haiz.. tot i'l be able to take my O's instead i'm only offered N.. haiz.. gotta retake N again.. cuz of all e syllbus change dats y.. hmp!

wOO~ jus came back from my morning jog.. itz great to jog in e morning where itz still dark, air is fresh, birds chirping, most importantly people are still sleeping.. haa.. am resting now.. *obviously* hur hur .. catching more oxygen now~ guess i muz bring an inhaler wid me e next time.. feels terrible when out of breath~ -_-''

goNna go back to rest den ready to go PARTY! haa.. not actually.. shopping i would say~ *chEErZ*

oH yeah peeps! look to e left panel, under FUNLINKS where it says MY TEST.. found it? click on it and it'l bring u to do a test set by me regarding how well u noe about me! heh heh.. enjoy doing it! whahaha~

hAPpIE 2004~
wow~ itz awesome another year of challenges~ breakthru's~ exploring~

Spent e last moment of 2003 in a short prayer in my heart~ jus thanking God dat He bring me thru another year and all dat HE done~

Spend e first moment watching fireworks! kinda like first time in my whole life i've seen fireworks in dat manner.. was at 1 fullerton wid my goody pal, loads of people but thank God we manage to find a place to settle down and got a nice view~ e fireworks lasted for about 10 mins, and i noe i spent my first 10 mins smiling away, looking at e sky and kept saying "wow" haa..

deN we proceed to PS to join our another group of frenz~ but it was a horrific journey dere.. .. nothing but horrible~ man.. i was so horrified by those "blackies" i mean cuz they've got touchy hands.. speaks from own experience.. dun get me wrong im not e victim but i've seen it wid my own eyes.. but thank God for my goody pal.. he's been very protective and all.. @_@ of cuz not mentioning all those spray e silly pranksters did! haa..

to cut it short.. event of dat day:

11.15am - 12.45pm CHEC
1.40pm - 8pm CG thanksgiving
8.40pm - 9pm Bedok mrt
lost track of time City Hall
stil have no idea of time Esplanade
10.30pm - 12.20am 1 fullerton
1am - 3am Plaza Singapura
330am - 6.30am Esplanade
6.45am HOME!

thaNks PeEps
heY guYs! juS waNna say a BIG THANK U! i noe some of u read my blog regarding my xmas~ soRRy if i got any of u worried but am alright now~ things are resolved, settled my emotions, decisions made~

dEAr STAR! if ya reading tis LOVE YA! i noe i've got u worried big time huh? hee.. itz another passing phase~ am encouraged by ur sms's~

& lEWiS i noe u msg me probably becuz u read e blog as well~ hee.. thANks loAdies too! aM touChed by ur act~

leSSons learned - even e most cheerful and joyful people around will have down time as well - Zac

hMM.. kinda jus in time to saY a BIG BIG THANK U since itz thanksgiving tmr~ chEERs..


Often the thing that's really bothering us is not the thing
people see. It's an inner thing.

An inner thing that we often can't speak.

A thing of the heart and soul.

For those kinds of things maybe you need to get in a quiet place
where you can talk to someone that does understand.

Often things of the inner spirit require a greater divine spirit
to heal.

wHerE's thE jOy oF ChriStmAS?
okIe iTz real memorable.. i spend my first moment of christmas standing at e junction waiting to cross e ever seeming long and dark road~ with face not looking dat merry.. and x'mas tis year is not e same again~ i tried to forget but it affected me so much dat i held back~ not becuz im bitter or wad... but itz e frenship dat makes my heart feel so weak dat im tired..

I blame no one for tis turn out.. everything can go wrong but it e matter of perspective.. and im not handling well

i guess im expecting a lot from tis dear fren of mine and putting him under a unknowningly stress?

or probably my fren is rite? dat i gotta give and take? hmmm.. didn't i give and take? or is it dat im giving him stress? or am i hard to please? or is it dat he's going thru so much pressure in his training and i didn't noe?

why are u always trying to be person dat please almost everybody?? and bottom everything to yourself? at d end of e day u are e one struggling so much and yet nobody knows it.. i noe i noe u wan people around u to be happy but can u pleased everyone at e same time? for once can u spare a thot for urself?


3:30pm now~ and why am i staring into e monitor? whereby i should be ouT theRe rejoicing.. so many things going thru my mind now.. i feel like giving up.. i should be with my CG now.. can i give up now? will my decision stumble others? will those people who hope so much in me be disappointed? Most of all is God happy about it? I noe God treasure Free-will more than anything.. but am i taking it for granted?

itz almost e same season last year where i struggle so much with decisions.....
I dun wan to fall into another depression like i did last year~ it took me so long to get out of it.. i'm afriad im going into one again.. probably itz e transistion dat im not handling well.. GOD I NEED UR HELP!!!

To mY dEARest FAith~ if only u can see it now.. ..
Time has come to say goodbye~
Time for us to go our way
Only then we noe we grow
From where we started out

All my wishes give to you
All the love i showered you
Memories will fade away
What u've done will stay e same

Never give up till I see your face
Heaven will we meet again
Run the race and fight the fight
After all it worth e price!!

6:05 is her flight~ leaving tis place all alone..a woman who i admire! someone who is able to travel all alone.. from taiwan to US.. den all e way to Singapore.. being apart from e family for 2 years and yet without a word i hear from her.. her boldness and courage to pursue what she wants really impact me a fair bit.. "wow" is what i breathe under my breath~ gonna miss her so much.. 2 months seem short yet long for me.. but am gonna wait patiently for her..

thoUghtsSssSS.....
wOw.. yesTerDay wAs d eND of mY SOT liFe.. feEl a loT toDay aS i wOke up~ liFe is different.. itz never gonna be the same again..

SOT life is tougher than i thot.. but itz definately fun going thru all when u have good frenz around to support.. when im down and out..

A new phase has begun~ Start my new phase spending time with my so called gOOd frenz who see me thru e tougher times in SOT.. hee..
Bought 3 rings.. signifieds
"Ze Fellowship Of Ze Ring!!" yeah! was hanging out at e hotel room and by e pool side.. wonderful time together.. did loads of crap stuff.. u wouldn't wan to know.. haa..

Came across this article which is wad i feel i myself should pray~

"O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as TO console...to be understood, as TO understand...to be loved, as TO love; for it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; and it is dying that we are born to eternal life."

Have a good fren tat was not feeling so good when he got posted to a unit.. things have make him feel discourage.. am glad tat i manage to calm him down and most importantly make him feel im there for him..not in distant but thru my cares and concerns.. At e same time as i sow encouragement in his life..i reap tat back as well.. e reply tat he make realy touches my heart.. didn't know i mean tat much to him..wan to be e encourager in his life~ So realy Thank God for blessing our frenship... often I always pray to God in blessing e frenship i have and yes HE did!

DediCated to BobBly Bob...
aFter readIng ur Blog.. kinda got inspired to write this for ya.. always remember tat in all things tat u do.. dO it for God~ like wad He has said to u.. u gonna be a testimony for Him.. and i believe it! aM goNNa be proud of ya not jus becuz of wad u've acomplished but ur determination..most of all.. itz wad makes Bobbly Bob..& here u go~

yOu've come so far
And did so well
When setbacks come
You never give up

From all these things
You've learned so much
To never give up and face the storm

A soldier u are
A man u've become
Someone who's there to defense his faith
Thru all these things...You've do us Proud!
Most of all.. noT let God down..