The Ex Files: Chris
Destroyed
You told me you loved me
You told me you'd never leave
You said I was a
gem
You said I was your best friend
You called me
beautiful
You called me your miracle
But our
relationship died
Now everything you said is
lies
Only you and I know the truth
We tell
friends otherwise to be cruel
But I want everyone to
know how much you loved me
I want everyone to know we
were meant to be
You lie about your feelings
now
Because it doesn't make you feel like such a
clown
Guilt destroyed us
It still haunts
us
Mine was deceiving
Yours was insecurity
If I
was your angel, Chris
Then why did things turn out
like this?
Merry-Go-Round
Seeing you again
Is like stepping into fire
You
look at me with familliar eyes
And I feel like such a
liar
I'm obviously not over you
Why else would I
feel this way?
With every glance I cast in your
direction
Memories of us turn me into
clay
Helpless in your hands
You can mold me
however you like
You make my heart heavy with regret
and longing
While I'm spun into our past of passion
and fights
You open the scars with your
nonchalance
You give me home with each smile
Part
of you tells me it's still yesterday
The other part
tells me it's been to long of a while
I dread having
to face you
Yet at the same time I look forward to
it
You still admire my beauty from afar
I still
dream about you more than I'd like to admit
Our love
was blind
But you were mine
Why didn't I realize
the love I wanted I had already found?
Now this
tragedy will never let me off of your merry-go-round
Unforgiven
I'm happy
Without you in my life
I've finally got
past you and your controlling nature
That took over 3
months of my life
I've been with other guys since
you
I realize that you're not a part of my life
anymore
Yet when your sister talks about you or I
happen to drive down your street
My heart gets a
little sore
But I don't let it get to me
Because I
know I don't get to you
I'm living my life free from
your chains
I'm partying, I'm singing, and I'm
laughing without you
You couldn't take advantage of
me again no matter how hard you tried
Cuz I'm all
grown-up and you made me learn the hard way
If you
actually let me talk to you in the future
I'd have
absolutely nothing to say
I'm not sorry
anymore
You were the biggest dissappointment of my
life
I'll never forgive you
For making me pick up
that knife
I lost all that blood because of you
I
wanted you to see what you had done to me
Yet I kept
it a secret after all that
You'd probably be
pleased
You made me believe you loved me
But you probably could have cared less
The truth of
the matter is that you took advantage of a troubled
little girl
And basically used her for sex
It was
just a fleeting summer "love"
You used me like I was
a goddamn doll
What would the sister who defends you
so
Think of it all?
It still makes me sad that you
turned out to be such a prick
You seemed so perfect
in the beginning
I wish I'd never met you
sometimes
But then I remember my life is only just
beginning
Chris
Once upon a time there
was a boy named Chris
Who lived in a house that smelled of cat piss
His nights were spent drinking and smoking pot
With the few 4 friends he got
19 years old, having sleepovers with guys
Made his girlfriend kinda wonder why
Chris loved to make her wait
By picking her up 2 hours too late
Everything he guaranteed
She never expected to see
Chris put her on hold for his boyfriends and
videogames
And every time the story was always the same
"I overslept", "I was at school"
Kinda funny when school's out for summer, you fool
Perhaps Chris had a girl on the side
Since he broke every promise
She was certain he could lie
But his girlfriend refused to see his faults
Since Chris usually made her believe their fights were
her fault
He'd hold her close and tell her she was so
beautiful
But his girlfriend began to think it was just a line of
bull
Chris always had to be the master in bed
He soon began forgetting to ask if she even wanted to
have sex
All this treatment was hurting inside
But she couldn't even trust him to confide
Chris pushed his girlfriend away
And promised she wasn't to blame
It was only supposed to be a couple days
But of course he made her wait
She grew lonely
Then another boy treated her lovely
She made a little mistake
But she was honest with Chris, for heaven's sake!
All she did was play a game
The boy begged for her number and she said okay
That's not a crime
But Chris wanted her to suffer and do her time
So he stabbed her in the back
Dumped her over the phone and said he'd never come
back
He claimed he was the victim
So she gave him the real deal-
She killed him.
(NOTE: I did not kill Chris, my
ex--I kinda wish I did, but I didn't- it was just a joke
for the poem, so no one FREAK out on me, kk?)
If
If I could bring you back
I
would
If I would be your perfect girl
I could
If you gave me another chance
I'd take it
If a promise meant everything
I'd make it
If someone could give you the world
It would be me
If you're looking for someone to understand
Let it be me
If I had to travel to hell and back
I'd do it
If that's what it took to forgive me
I'd insist it
If I could change the past
I'd fix the mistakes
If you were here right now
I'd do whatever it takes
If I could kiss you right now
You'd slip into complete peace
If I could hold you right now
You'd never want to leave
If I could bring you back
I would
If I would be your perfect girl
I could
If you said no
I'd cry
If I had the chance
I'd try and try
No Name
The smallest reminder
Drives me insane
In one single
moment
Memories of you flood through my veins
I pick up the phone
Holding back tears
Dialing
your still-so-familliar number
I try to face my
fears
With each ring
I realize more and more I
can't talk to you
With each sob
I realize this is
not the right thing to do
Your sister finally picks
up
I hang up in shame
I've become just another
caller
Unidentified because there's no longer any
importance behind my name
Untitled
#2
To die is to live
I've learned to
shift
The road is long
And everything feels
wrong
I'm lost without a companion
My heart is an
empty canyon
I'm covered with scars inflicted by your
love
And the passion that just was never
enough
You crushed my dreams
You silenced my
screams
Took my life away
Never listened to a word
I had to say
I begged you not to leave
Now I hate
the way you breathe
Cheat
You make me cry
More than anyone ever has
I cut myself so much
Because you make me think we'll never last
I'm under so much pressure
I'm always to blame
Everything is going wrong
I just couldn't take the pain
Losing my sanity and self-respect
Just to ease my loneliness
Now you're being immature
As a result of my foolishness
Since I made my mistake
You don't want to really solve anything
Instead you rub salt in my wounds
And don't understand how much it weakens me
You know I'm unstable
Are you trying to push me over the edge?
By making me feel like I don't deserve to live?
Cuz one foot is already over the ledge
I know and believe what I did was wrong
But I'm an extreme case
I'm fragile as a baby
And more tormented than a headcase
I'm not like all of the other girls
And you know those rules don't apply to me
I deserve another chance
Before you leave
You've ultimately treated me the best
But you've ultimately treated me the worst
I can't handle this contempt
Or this curse
I haven't told you that I love you
Because you don't deserve to know
You should be counting your blessings
When he asked I did say no
I suppose at the moment you're too consumed with being
the victim to realize it
But you're making me feel like a fucking no good cheat
And I hope you know by continuing that
Will cause me and death to meet
My Instituion
I don't love you
Until you're taken away
Even with all my defenses down
I can't find the words I want to say
It's so hard to express what I feel
Everyone seems to ignore my silent pleas
If I let you into my secret world
I'm afraid you wouldn't like what you see
They invade my mind
And poke around for a solution
There are reasons that I am who I am
And anyone who tries to interfere will end up
in my
institution
Bittersweet
Sharp edges and
blurred images
Offer the same dizziness and detail that you are in
me
Melting beneath your hands
As the moon falls to dream
Gleaming in your bittersweet eyes
Is everything I desire
Our nerves and insecurity disappear
Into a milky dream
Of heat, sweat, and fire
Little trinkets jingle in the background
Locks of hair fall in your face
And raven strands hide your eyes
Then I brush them away with grace
Your hands explore my skin
Your moist lips meet mine
I wrap my arms around you tightly
And thank God that you're mine
He
I'm not who you want me to
be
Because I can't escape from him
But please don't leave
Because I love the way you grin
He haunts me in my dreams
But you treat me better than he ever did
You kiss at my screams
But the memory of him is impossible to rid
I'm sorry
Please understand
I want to be with you
But he won't let go of my hand
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Email: JulietScullyGoo@prodigy.net
