Last Man
Why does it seem,
so hard to think these days
I feel like I am falling
Down a tunnel that has no end.
All these nightmares
that I see inside
Always scream at me
from the crevises in my mind
I cant cry anymore
without seeing tears
and the only crying said and done
is the one I see inside.
I wish I could just say,
I had not a care in the world
But then, I should be as untruthful
as the last man was.
The Night
The night flows over me,
Encapturing me in her warm embrace.
Speaking of only soft whispers,
and promises forgot long ago.
cooling the hot tears,
that spread down my cheeks,
Holding me closer.
Not letting me fall.
The night time sky,
drifting of blooming stars,
Shining brighter than any other night.
People smiling around me...
Yet they are not really there.
Flowing over me now-
spreading to my neck..
The thickness of the night,
seeping up.
Finally reaching me into full meditation,
as I lay down to enjoy the pleasures
I have recieved tonight.
In knowing that I still have one thing in me.....
The Night.
Passion
At the eve of night,
I shall hear the call
of the wind in the waves,
Where my mind shall wander...
Cold feet, along a burned sidewalk,
leaves me feeling naked, and alone
walking into the sand, the feeling, carefree.
The mind clashes into the waves.
Sitting on a heavenly chair,
Made of sand and rock alike.
The oceans breath seeping through me
playing games with my mind.
Becoming alone with the greatest mind,
Becoming one within myself.
Following the power of the current inside-
as I follow the seas, To carefree Happiness.
A Lost Language
There is a lost language
it used to be sweet
filled with roses
and smiles
There used to be laughing
and playing around
Used to be parties,
and those looks all night long
But now..
look at us.....
We cant even look at each other
without feeling guilty anymore
and I cant stop the tears
that destroy me at night
and you sit there and smile
at the pain you know you caused
while I sit here and grimice
in my own room
on my bed
crying to the wall.
The lost language...Is Love
I
Dont care what I think,
Dont even look at me anymore
all you do is laugh
when I try to help
and be your friend.
What does anything
Matter to you anymore
I wont wake you up anymore
Before I walk away
All the demons know
and circle around you
They dont talk about me
anymore.
All these questions
Starting with why
still feeling empty inside
All These secrets
are still safe
All these secrets,
will die with me
all your secrets,
are still yours
A Broken Bottle of wine
Hiding in your covers
late at night
the impulse surrounds you
as you cower in a corner
holding on to something
you never even had.
What is the point
In this thing
that you hold on to
when it's not even there
Are you still awake
In your nightmares
Where you wake up
and I am gone again
Did you wonder where
I must have gone
Did you assume
That I was hiding
In the Closet
In the Broken pieces of time
feeling empty and shattered
Like that broken bottle of wine
In your bed
Are your eyes focased now
you see the black letters
"No one is to Blame"
they say.
This broken life,
this bottle of wine
Everything you have
is safe with me
But why should I sit here and see
When all is already finished
and the desperation
Clinging onto nothing
In The Broken pieces of time
Feeling empty,
and shattered,
In Time.
Endless Cycle
Look at me now
Look at these tears
Flowing into the nautical mind
Watch me and laugh
at these droplets of water
the purest of them all
Dont feel sorry for me anymore
'Cause I am not you,
anymore.
Stop Joking me
and look behind the thoughts
Look at my mind
and stop wondering
Where I went wrong.
what I did wrong
Just dont plan
to hunt me down anymore
'Cause you wont find me
in the endless cycle
that is called life.
Nightmares Thundering
Nightmares Thundering,
Into my mind
Leaving my soul
In a touch of time
Look at me Now
In the facade of you
dont cry those tears
they will not come true
All of the lonliness
All of the tears
All of the facades
Distingushed by fear
Look me in the eyes
and lie to me still
Just dont look in my soul,
Because
You will see my lies too
My mind is a endless
turmoil.
A endless Lie
That was not to be born.
Nightmares Thundering,
Into my mind
Leaving my soul
In a touch of time
Look at me Now
In the facade of you
dont cry those tears
they will not come true
All These Seas
These Fears
this tease
The world cant revolve
unless a new lie is formed
you cant continue
going without the new lies
that you create in your mind
every new day
Stop lying to yourself
But I know you wont
Dont look out
Because you are already gone.
Nightmares Thundering,
Into my mind
Leaving my soul
In a touch of time
Look at me Now
In the facade of you
dont cry those tears
they will not come true....
A Girl
There is a little girl, Sitting there crying herself to sleep at night, looking at the stars above, wondering where her life could be. If only she could see herself in the mirrior, if only she could look inside...And stop these tears from falling. Look at the girl in in the reflecting glass, See who she really is... Crying, Tears running down her face, eyes sunken in. Shaking and shivering, She doesnt know where to turn. Or where to run.
She only wants to help, to be loved, and cared for. And most people, shunned her, Thought she was stupid...Thinking that She was someone who didnt care about other peoples feelings. They always thought she was sitting strong, and not movable...But they dont look at her on the inside now...Because all they would find, are her tears. and her falling apart. She constantly stays strong, yet, thats on the outside, not on the inside.
She tries to tell them, that she's not as strong. That her mind whirls everyday, With thoughts she cant even write down. But now instead, she sits down and looks at the mirror...and watches her tears falling down her face and smiles, because she knows that she will never find another soul- whom she can sit there, and cry in front of. She knows, That she has to remain, strong, To all of her Friends, To all of her Family...and To all those other people, who she may not know at the correct second..But to all those she will know...And all that she already knows, She will stay strong.....But only, for you.
Here is a little girl, Sitting there crying herself to sleep at night, looking at the stars above, wondering where her life could be. Now if only she could find her life.... Her way...Her Star............
Say Good-Bye
Hiding Inside,
The Equilibrium of the past,
And the Barricades of the Future.
Disquised in old memories,
Clawing at my mind,
Cant stop the tears from flowing
screaming out the anguish,
that Stews in my heart.
Hidden Values, No one learned
screaming fires, licking the mind
shooting stars, dance across the years
Crison soaking my sweatshirt.
as thin lines,
Say Good-Night.
The UNFORGIVEN
I am stuck in a little room, with four crowded walls, and an ashtray, with no ciggeretes, crying my eyes out. There I am, Can you see me, can you be me? I dont want to be alone, Can you help me? Do you even want to try? Should I sit there, without any doors, without any windows, wondering why the world gave up on me. Slid me down a tunnel, into the UNFORGIVEN.
In The UNFORGIVEN I am still this little child, Lost in a sea of emptiness, with crowded walls filled with nothing...Just sitting here, with tears falling, yet no face behind them. Screaming, WHining, trying to figure out why I would be sent to such a place, and the only ones who sent me, are my friends, and my family, and those who didnt know me...but that makes everyone.
Why was I sent to the UNFORGIVEN? Because, I was locked into love. I was stolen to hate. I was torn to disaster, and my tears were my fate. My heart was broken, My lungs blackend...and my soul...Unforgiven..No one cared, if I was Gone, If they didnt hear from me, If I was desprete enough to try anything...But I was desprete...To LOVE someone! So this is why...I was sent, To the UNFORGIVEN.
Facade of the Strong
There are so many times,
that people think I am so strong,
that I can hold on,
without anything there at all,
well I have a confession...
I'm not that strong girl..
I'm scared lost and lonely,
someone who is afraid to be herself,
and afraid to see the world...
Why must everyone think,
that I able to know what I'm doing.
Why does everyone think,
that I am the bravest of them all,
Well the truth is that I'm not...
That truth is that I am weak,
and I know this,
I just hate to deny it.
Being strong, and yet Weaker than a mouse,
Emotional turmoil down the dark roads.
Children crying,
and I'm there for them to hold on to,
Friends dying,
and I am standing right with them,
Facade of the strong,
and the lies of the weak,
make me out- to be me.
Just look at me, and you can see what I mean,
stop glanceing at my face,
and look me in the eyes.
Look into my heart, and soul.
Look into these nightmares,
deep inside my brain.
Now can you tell,
Why Its all a lie?
A Facade of the strong,
and the Lies, Of the Weak.
Is there...
Is there a reason, Why I shouldnt cry these tears? Is there a reason, Why I shouldnt be left alone? Everything I see, Everything I am...is shattered, in a terrible ray of disaster... Is there a new tear, that falls down my cheek, that hasnt been cried, a thousend times before? Is there a reason that I have not stopped crying since I was born? Is there.......
Is there a reason, Why the pain shouldn't be this strong? Why these tears shouldnt flow, like a nightmare out of control! Is there a new fear, that keeps these tears, from flowing out my eyes...Making me scream in desperation- because I'm trapped in side a caccoon. Is there reason, Why I am still here? Is there......
Is there a reason, Why I am still alive, and breathing, Kicking and screaming. punching the walls...It doesnt work anymore, and pillows just wernt hard enough. Is there a reason......For this insanity?