No Order or Reason (Notebook entries, and randomness from 1997-1999)

Unifying Theory of Life

We are here for four major reasons, the first reason is fear. We could leave, we could change, we could do anything we wanted too, if fear did not keep us down. Fear is our only true God. Without fear, we could do anything we wanted to. The second reason we are here, is responsibility. Most people are responsible to a point. If a person has no responsibilities, nothing to keep up, nothing to take care of, then the only things keeping us alive would be fear. The third thing is desire, people desire to do certain things, before they die. Someone may desire to another person, which keeps them going, and also be afraid to get what they desire which traps them in their life. Desire and responsibility usually have nothing to do with each other, while desire and fear go hand in hand. Need is the fourth thing keeping us here. People feel they need to do certain things, to be happy with themselves. Some people need to reproduce, to keep (maybe) their family name going, and they look at this as their responsibility. Need, desire, and responsibility all go together, while fear still stands alone. Some people can delete most fear, desire, responsibility and need from their lives, but never can they rid themselves completely of it. The reason I believe fear is your only god, is because fear leads to so many things that you cannot live through, you become afraid to try everything. Life is limited, weak, and impotent, because of fear. When you add all of these things, and try to find the best lifestyle that would limit these things, there is only one: become a hermit. The only other alternative…

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chorus
you cant hit him
you cant see him
no more drinkin
no more drivin
end chorus
Friday night wanna go somewhere
go find my friends
they are drinkin beer
their time for living never ends
chorus
4 now past out
3 more wanna leave
2 more drinking
1 now drivin
Chorus
The one drivin
Is now crying
Thought he could hit him
Thought he could see him

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chorus
Ever since I was a little boy
I always wanted more
More than my father
More than my mother
More than my fuckin brother
End chorus
Acceptance
I cannot accept this
I am not gonna take this
I am gonna change things
Chorus
Acceptance
We cannot accept this
We are not gonna take this
We are gonna change things

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Rectify usually reminds one of rectums, this currently brings a smile to my face!

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Notes on Myself
Kelly taught me that I am a jackass (only a front), and/but I was very compassionate, giving, understanding, loving and free (the inner me). I already knew this, but she understood and that is special in itself. A mistake? We'll find out.

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Whenever I go through a major life change, I rearrange my room to reflect my new surroundings. I believe that whenever someone goes through a major change they rearrange something or somewhere that the changeling used to frequent. (go thru the garden of creativity)

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Life ne'er ends, only begins again.

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I really don't have on damned clue about anything, I just have a lot of common sense.

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Capitalism—how it works
--tier system (diagram)
--corporations, 358 people own half of the world, Dupont, etc.
--politicians (president, senate, queen, etc.)—owned by corporations.
--employers/owners( people that are self employed, or that employ the lower class (own private property)
--workers( the working class
--otherwise known as upper/middle/lower class
--upper class( corporations, some politicians
--middle class( politicians, some employers/owners
--lower class( everyone else
--currently, the middle class is being eliminated.
(because of the stock market
--the owners control the working class with fear
--the politicians control the owners and working class with laws and taxes
--the corporations control everyone with automation
(they produce everything; without them, capitalism would flop…capitalism, in turn, is most beneficial for the upper class
(keeps the lower class in line with hopes of wealth, and fake freedom
Determining which class you belong to
--if you are head of a corporation or a powerful politician, upper class
--if you own private property, middle class
--if you don't fit the previous, lower class
I fight for a simpler, smaller world. Our world has grown too large to recognize everyone, I crusade to give everyone a chance…unless they shut me out before they know me.

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Moon
Full Moon

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they try to abhor and destroy me
although they don't know me
they continue to ignore me
they do not know it
but everyone bores me
I am hard to please
I love the winter breeze

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if you give your trust to anyone,
it leads to the ocean.
The beached whale
Trusted the sand!

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Prozac Takin' Bitch
Prozac takin bitch
Sterile
Quiet
She doesn't see it
The empty faces
She cant see them
Cant see anything
"what did you say
I couldn't hear you"
she ran away

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Trippin in the Midnite Sun
The sun so bright
Although not shining
I could not see
I felt the blinding
White light
White light
Carry me through the night
On your sacred fight

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Part 1

Personal Politics
Anarchy
No government
Freedom
Peace (cannot be granted by government because everyone is different)
Evolution
Once attained we cannot "de-evolve", only get better
revolution just revolves (goes back), evolution only goes up—not in circles
Economy W/Out Government
Ayn Rand
Laissez-Faire
Economic Freedom
Control
Held only by the people, they must take care of themselves and their issues in a peaceful manner
No prisons
Crimes are to be dealt with in the society, with fair judgment
Education
Optional
People must want to learn, nothing is to be forced upon them (from parents or otherwise)
People choose to learn what they want, when they want
All schools will be public to increase attendance and reduce segregation
Segregation
Should be dissolved at onset
Everything will be public to decrease (hopefully erase) segregation
Publicly handled—if a society is racist, I suggest it go somewhere else
Can be beaten by boycott
Violence should never be used; instead, peaceful protest
Currency
Current systems (yes, all of them) should be dissolved and a universal currency should take its place
Universal should not be based on gold or silver—just paper
Ones that would object should be compensated with gold and silver (which should no longer be valuable, as it is not based against currency)
Currency in Relation to Economy
A totally free market should reign with conventional compensation standards
Current jobs should be re-evaluated, re-education should take place, safety should be utmost important
Economies should continue to prosper with new currency and standards
Drugs
No government means nothing illegal—I believe drugs will be like gambling today, some will accept them, but most wont.
I do not believe in the use of drugs as escape or alternative (to or from life)—but I do believe they help put the world into perspective
Again, the society should choose to accept drugs, or ban the users from their society
Societies
Your participation is your vote in the society
A society is like a town or community
Societies are comprised of similar thinking peoples that can agree on most things
Societies should be kept small for everything to run smoothly
There should not be a head of society or master, to increase activity in the community
If a member of society does something rash or wrong, that person should go up against the entire society to explain their actions
A society decides the punishment, and how to come about the decision (unanimous, popular vote, etc.)
Everything in the society is determined by the society
Economy in Relation to Society
All businesses in a society must have permission from the society to sell goods
Wages (minimum) should be set by the society for social good
A societies economy has the basic duty to provide enough jobs and goods for the entire society
Censorship
No government means no laws (no censorship)
A society can ban whatever they choose as long as the entire society agrees
Children will be treated like adults in a society, anything the adults can buy or partake in, the children can as well
It is up to the society to decide whether or not something is acceptable for everyone (no 16 or older, etc.)
Punishments
A society decides on punishments
Common punishments( ban from society, ban from certain extra, community service, etc.
Economy in Relation to Punishment
Economy cannot go against a persons punishment (or face punishments themselves)
Inter-Community (Society) Economy
Persons from one society can buy goods from another society unless that society denies
A person can buy goods banned in their society from another with consent from selling society, but cannot bring into his society
Persons buying from another society regularly must face the society for neglecting his economy
Inter-Society Punishment
Any person doing something punish worthy in a society away from his will face that society and be at their mercy
Inter-Society Relations
Societies should keep good relations with their neighbors, and their issues to help shape, mold, grow, and evolve in your own society
Societies that border each other should try especially hard to enforce the punishments of its neighbors
Remember
The society is the goal, it is our lives. We must nurture it as we would our own child, Our neighbors are our siblings. We are all one and as one we must stand together!
Disagreements
Disagreements should be settled between the parties involved in a peaceful and business-like atmosphere
Nothing should be handled with violence—if it looks to be coming to that, take it before the society
Inter-State Disagreements
Shouldn't happen
If it does, should be taken before both societies
should never result in neighbor negligence or war
Disagreements Related to Economy
If a disagreement in economy arises it should immediately be taken before the society
If settled away from the society, violence should not be used and a peaceful atmosphere must be restored
Military
Should not be needed as all societies should have a common ground of PEACE!
If military is needed for anything, then the societies have failed and we should return to bullshit capitalist democracy.

Part 2

Economy
Ayn Rand
Economy in the 60's
Ideal capitalism
Statism vs. Capitalism
Capitalism
Pros and Cons
History
Applicable scenarios
True capitalism vs. mixed economy
American Capitalism today
American Capitalism tomorrow
Role in mixed economy
Communism
Communist Russia
True Communism (Marxism)
Leninism
True Communism vs. Socialism
History
Future
Communist role in American Capitalism
Communist China
Pros and Cons
Role in mixed economy
Socialism
History
Future
Role in mixed Economy
Socialism today
Socialism vs. Capitalism
Socialism in relation to Communism
Pros and cons
Anarchy
History
Ancient Greece
Spain
Future
My Ideals
Pros and cons
Difference from other economies
Anarchia Economy
True Anarchia vs. Capitalism
Anarchia in relation to free enterprise
Laissez-Faire
Application to each economy
How it works
History
Presence in today's economies
Mixed Economy
America
Economical Studies
Future and History

Note at top pf page: While everyone else is trying to mimic last years hero, I try to illustrate next years hero.

Part 3

Government
Democracy( peoples rule
Democratic America
Economies used under
Comparison to others
History
Future
Is not furnished with set economy
Communism
furnished with economy
Government rule
Communist Russia and China
Comparison to others
History and Future
Marx
Socialism
Furnished with economy
Government intervention
Socialist countries (?)
Comparison
History and Future
Anarchy
No government
Peoples rule (over themselves)
not furnished with economy
Economy based on peoples wants and needs

Note at top of page: Bosses restrict vision, ideas, and learning—only to try to hold a false security on their investments.

Part 4

Getting From Here to There
Here
Government rules everything, exclusively
They can "persuade" anyone to do anything
If they break the "law" they can change it
They don't worry over constituents, only about themselves
They are anarchists in a way, but do not advocate or condone anarchy for the masses
if they live and advocate democracy they should act that way: democratic.
Military is the governments main concern, it should be you and I
Military spending is $614 billion/yr
Military is best solution for most government problems
Taxes/IRS
Government rules our money and makes us pay them( we don't want them!
If you don't pay taxes, they punish you with jail?!?
"If you don't give me your hard earned money, you go to jail."
Most tax money is spent on military
CIA/FBI
Special police
As if normal police aren't corrupt enough, they get higher salaries to do what cops do!
Supposed to cover all states, protect officials, etc.
if officials are going to die, they rarely stop it, just ward it off for awhile
officials shouldn't need protection: everyone should be pleased!
anarchy can almost assure this for everyone except our supposed officials
Electoral College/Election (president)
President is not elected by people, elected by popularity
Should be direct peoples vote, not "how big is my state" shit!

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Socio-psychological determinants of war and peace

--Human survival depends on the ultimate outlawing of recourse to violence in international disputes
--decisions leading to war are made by individual leaders and leadership groups (governments)
--the possibility of limiting any nuclear war is remote
|( meaning: once started, bye-bye humanity

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She has to be wise
Guys
You have to realize
Ladies runnin' around
Throwin' themselves
They just cheatin' themselves
Jus' beatin' themselves
They got to learn to hold their own
Stop looking for a guy who bones
And guys you got to know they
Got diseases
Shit worse 'dan measles

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Reality

Life is a struggle for everyone. We, as a people, make it harder by amplifying personal struggles and overlooking others. We need to join together, if we make all of our problems one, it will be easier to overcome our struggles. I realised this tonight from a street peddler (bum) on Fox St. in Denton, TX. He reminded me of Socrates; sharing his wisdom with anyone that listened. I felt like Plato but I had heard his truths before, and have realized mine, making his ever so insignificant to me. This doesn't mean I disregarded him, only means I understood him on his level, I DID WHAT HE DOES! My problems were insignificant at the time, because I was more worried about him and his problems. I knew what he was going through; and like bums do, when he was done he asked for donations. I didn't contribute. Why? Because it is the easy way out, depending on others. BLAH.

Nov. 7 1999

I guess you could say I am here because I have nowhere else to go, or maybe, it could be said, that I am here because I thoroughly enjoy this. I love simplicity. My life is totally simple, I try to make it complicated; but in vain. I enjoy the people I live with. I enjoy my neighbours. I enjoy my job. I enjoy my co-workers. I enjoy my life. The simplicity of living just to live, not worrying about the future or what's for dinner. I don't want to run right now, I want to stay put, just until spring. O, lust of life, grant me a season to learn myself and understand others. I really want to be a good person, I want people to understand me, I want to be accepted, loved, and (I don't know what else but I know there should be something here). I try to be nice, I always have it in my heart to be helpful, and no one ever stops me when I go too far. I then enjoy the impression that they enjoy the way I am, and what I say. Maybe I just need to stop being a pussy, and get on with my life. Time to confront people and if that goes bad out here, well, I'll try it again in the next place.