Here's a question from a guy more like a dog then my puppy, Quinn: on 4/2/01

    Does anybody really know the muffin man?

    No, sadly... It is a very long and sordid tale full of love and lose. See all his life the Muffin an was a happy chap. He was very respected. One day at a national baker's convention he met the love of his life. Her name was Aunt Jamima. But Aunt Jamima was married already to Uncle Ben. Their affair went on for several months. Until the the night Uncle Ben came home early from the rice fields.

    The Muffin Man was devastated. He was full of self hate. So he journeyed to the place of self hate... Hollywood, Californa. The muffin Man became a hobo. Drunk and high half the time he slowly degressed to a empty shell of a person. Then one day he found himself on the steps of a plastic surgeon. Luckily the doctor enjoyed baked pasteries, so The Muffin Man baked for his self altering operations. A tummy tuck there, a tummy tuck here. He became addicted to the drug that is self change. The Muffin Man had 15 differant operations before the doctor refused to do it anymore.

    Once again the Muffin Man turned to the streets. Due to malnutrition his tummy tuck fell out and to this day he still screams in horror when his senstive stomache is touched. Sure it sounds like a giggle but you would sound happy too if you could stop smiling do to face lifts. Luckily a stranger befriended him and gave him a job as a mascot. That's all he was good for now... The muffin man had once been the bakery good master and now... he was corporate America's bitch. Rich but fake non the less. Oh Muffin Man... *weeps for humanity and baked goodness*