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Here's a question from a bleeding machine, chris: on 8/9/01

Why does everyone like penguins and where can I get one?

Penguins are just plain cute. I think the root of their attractiveness is in two parts. First they are small. Everybody loves small creatures. Unless they are bugs... or chihuahuas. So basically if they are between the size of a small poodle and a one of those cute bug cars, they are cute size wise. Second and most importantly they waddle. Waddling makes a man very mysterious. I mean what do you think when you see someone waddle? You think "Why the heck are they waddling?" Hence the mystery. Also it's damn sexy. There's actually one more factor in this likable penguin equation it's their eyes. You can't help but to look ionto those cold beady eyes and wonder what this small flightless bird has to hide. It's almost... malelovent. SO basically...

small bird + waddle + beady black eyes = penguinlicious sexiness

Of course there are other lovable things about these arctic fowl like their bird calls, their black and white suits (because everyone likes people dressed in a tux), and the fact that they don't need to fly to be damn cool. Basically penguins are irrestible.

Anyway enough of my daydreaming and on to business. You can pick up one of these handy dandy flightless wonders at the closet Antartica near you! But don't make the mistake of going to the North Pole... I won't make that mistake twice. Haha Haha ha...

SEXY personified

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