VIEWING EXPIERIENCE:     Good god no more sequels! *shakes head* Words spoken too late… And by the ending of the latest installment of Jurassic Park I bet my top dollar there will be another. It may have been a horrible ending but it definitely made it clear there will be another. It’s almost like beating a dead horse… a dead horse with already one sequel. Enough of that banter and on to the reviewing! *peasants rejoice* My trip to the theaters to see Jurassic Park III was definitely full of it’s shenanigans. First off after purchasing my tickets I went up to get a drink. Now this is how it always works. I get a large drink usually lemonade then by half way through the movie I don’t know what is worse my curiosity about the movie or the screams of my bladder. I was stead fast that I was only going to get a small. But of course I came back to my seat with a large. So what was my downfall? Was it the salesman’s charisma? Was it his sales pitch? Or was it the fact he was hot? Probably the latter. I’m a weak person. :P So after depositing my drink I visited the bathroom… the wrong bathroom… but a bathroom non-the-less. I didn’t realize I was in the men’s room (even though the seat was left up) till I heard a small boy screaming in the other stall “I AM REPTAR HEAR ME ROAR!” continuously as he used the toilet. So as I walked out of the false bathroom into the faces of a bathroom attendant and the mother of the tyke what did I say to cover my ass? “Umm… I have the feeling I just used the men’s bathroom…”

    So the movie starts. I’m finally in my seat. About half way through the movie the projector messed up and for about 10 minutes we saw half the screen. It was muy funny. Especially the screams of the crowd. “Fix the fucking movie!” “HEY WATCH YOUR MOUTH!” *chuckles* The rest of the movie was uneventful.

    The graphics were wonderful of course. But remember Jurassic Park III to be taken lightly. Because once you start analyze all the holes in the plot you realize it sucked much more then you first realized. Number one I don’t know if it just felt that way but the movie was short. Number two the ending is absolutely horrible and not to mention cheesy. As I put it the plot has so many holes you may as well call it Swiss cheesy. *yuk yuk* There were some cool scenes grant it. The raptors were of course the best. Though they changed their appearance from the first two movies. Now they are all frilly, cool but frilly. As far as violence goes there is quite a bit of blood. After all the deaths there was only one person that I felt bad for… Steven Spielberg. Poor guy, contrary to popular belief he didn’t direct the movie but no one knows that so he’ll still get crap about it.

STORY SUMMARY:     There is one island left of dinosaurs. No one is allowed to have clearance to the island. But when Eric and Brant crash land on the island after a hang-gliding incident who will go in to save them? It is up to Eric’s loving but divorced parents (Tea Leoni and William H. Macey) and surprisingly Dr. Grant (Sam Neil.) Yes, they bring the ole bugger back from the first Jurassic Park. Also along with Dr. Grant is his headstrong assistant Billy. But the question is who will save them? I know the answer and trust me it sucks.

BEST QUOTE:     "ROOOARRR!

                      "AAAAAAAAAHHH!"

CONCLUSION:     See it but then read the books (Jurassic Park 1 and 2).