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Why do I torture myself?
Crucify myself on your cross
Why do I pretend?
Not to feel the hurt

The yearning
The need to hold you
To melt away your fears
And heal all your wounds

But I can’t have you
And you don’t need me
Yet this hunger is with me
And I have grown accustomed

Accustom to you talking of your other loves
The ones I know you’d rather have…
Than your shield
The one that would do anything for you

Sacrifice everything for you
Only if you would smile for a second
The hope of this smile keeps me fighting
Fighting till my own ruin

My heart is aching when I don’t see your smile
Your smile so loving
Your eyes so knowing
Your heart… not mine