sin & debt

i have been swallowed
by your incessant lies
my lessened feelings
have now become your prize

but you can't help it
you are your own disguise
only this cruelty
could ever get a rise.

you heal the hurting
and cleanse the hate inside
i find relief by
knowing a part of me has died.

to breathe the blood in
from fuel of uterine
and find redemption
if only for the briefest span of time.

when - did - this
become so dear to me?
why - did - i
go there so willingly?

there can be no answer found in...

this bloody token
of lost virginity
your pried me open
took my naivity.

it made the difference
when you believed in me
but you raped the pleasure
borne of this sodomy.

i feel you shudder
your weight, it pulls me down
half-gentle fingers
wipe the sweat from off my brow.

and yet there's nothing
left here to fix us now
we belong together
dead in love and hatred-bound.

and i shudder to think of it
as i know
i'm a part of it

that sweet circle of pleasure & pain...

my only weakness
is now exposed to you
i know exactly
what it is you plan to do.

but i will lie down
and let the sins accrue
you know i love you
so make the burden live anew.

you can try to find some relief in this
you can try and take me
to cleanse my soul.

i will strain under the weight of this
i will break for you
to make you whole.

and i will try and carry your weary pain
if only for the debt
and only for today.

-- afterglow --

-- choke --