This is a real auction, not a hoax or a joke. You will receive an actual bottle filled with air from my lungs. Which is actually a pretty true thing since I am a claustrophobe and I am always losing my air, so might as well trap it up in a bottle. In fact this is a great idea and I will make bottles of air and keep them on a shelf so when I run out I can just grab one and inhale. Of course you don’t have to inhale the air if you win this auction. It is probably a better idea just to keep it sealed. Of course unless you really need to sniff it up, then go ahead because if you win the auction you get to do anything you want with it, right? Although right here I am saying leave it inside the bottle. Air is precious! Plus if you open it up the air will escape and then you lost what you bought and that wouldn’t make sense, at least to me. Although if you win it you could even smash the bottle because ALL breath is just commingled on this planet anyway. Like I said…up to you.

My Uncle, who is claustrophobic too, walks around with an oxygen tank strapped to his back. That is nice, but I get headaches from oxygen and laughing gas too so I don’t do that. I stick wit bottles. (Although I used to use paper bags.)

My breath is trapped inside a brown bottle that once had vanilla extract inside. Now vanilla smells really good and tastes good too but there isn’t any scent of vanilla left inside there. I washed it out. Then I added my air really carefully and put the cap on. I also labeled it and signed it with my name so you don’t get it mixed up with other bottles of air you might already own.

That’s about it. I need to go to bed now.

Buyer to add shipping/handling fee of $6.00.

P.S. This morning I also added duct tape, make that mask ing tape, to keep it really secured up just in case there are any leaks around the cap. There.