January - April 2002 (Bitch, Bitch, Bitch)

4-30-02 Shane: "This is Clubbed To Death-" Me: "What?!" Shane: "Clubb-" Me: What?!!" Shane: "CLUBBED TO DEATH!". Me: "Oh. Hell yeuhhhhh"

4-29-02 You should at least sign my guestbook, Holly. Flame away.

4-29-02 Holly, just so you know, I'm gonna make it up to you. When you least expect it. Until then, you can bitch away. See you tommorow, love.

4-27-02Mmmmmmmmmmm...... Also coming soon: Bastard List - 2002.

4-26-02Mmmmmmmmmm......

4-25-02 I just read on the Nubreaks board that Uberzone is working on new tracks with Rennie Pilgrem, Simply Jeff, Afrika Bambatta, and Hybrid. Holy shit.

4-22-02 Oh, and when you read that last post, read it with a smile! Heavens to Bettsie! I didn't mean it as a cynical refutation. I actually want to believe it's true. Seriously. I may be deluding myself, but I meant it as a sign of my underlying optimism. Honest Injun.

4-22-02 There is the story of the happy purple lollipop troll who lived in a place of constant chocolate cookies. He entered the wilderness of decidedly unadulterated bliss to be groped and plucked by the ecstacy-evoking (purest of the pure, just ask Dancesafe) fairies that lived inside his follicles. They whisked him away to a fru-fru land where nobody had ever even heard of John Ashcroft, much less been denied statuesque titty. And then Jon Stewart and all of his friends took our happy purple lollipop troll and went to live at Jimmy Stewart's house forever, where constant Christmas was all around, and our troll could be showered with presents for an eternity. Among those presents was a dvd called The Element Of Crime, a modern expressionistic nightmare that makes Brazil run for its money. This purple troll lived forever in glee watching Lars Von Trier sing to the world. And he was happy, as I will be happy when I get the dvd. Trust me, Stepheny, Dad couldn't possibly suck the life out of me. I'll be fine. Trust the fact that the acerbic nature of my posts must be greatly misconstrued. Though that's unintentional. I'm a happy guy. I just need to get laid is all. Couple that with my impatience to get where I'm going, and you've got a powder keg only subsided a bit by friends and breakbeat.

4-19-02 Now I'm confused, because my page is not terribly angst-riddled. I never really vent on it. Not really. Are you talking about our brother's page, or mine? Hmm.....It seemed like both. Ah well.

4-19-02 My sister signed my guestbook today. Hey Steph! It's great to finally hear from you. I never write Brock either, which wasn't always the case. Anyways, I'm puzzled a bit by your entry. I can't remember anytime I ever really blamed anybody else for my shortcomings. Perhaps I've reflected on causes of such flaws, but I try not to dwell on them. And I certainly don't blame God. To me, God is an idea, expounded upon variably by variable cultures in correlation to the living conditions, hopes-fear-desires of these cultures. So I certainly can't blame him for my troubles. I doubt I could even find his phone number to rant at him. I make certain moral judgements about possibilities, i.e., if this is true, this is how I feel about it. I simply don't believe in the various interpretations of it. That ain't a gothic, self-hating attitude, nor is it by any means an exclusionary one. Perhaps that clears things up a bit. It should also be duly noted that I have great wells of optimism not easily abated by the ephemeral problems of youth. I'll email you sometime, Stepheny.

4-18-02 Me want Element Of Crime

4-17-02 Cuppla seconds later...Just checked my inbox. Emailed a guy who's helping throw the BLIM party. The club in Atlanta is called Format. According to the guy that emailed me back today, it's an intimate place, and there will be no presale tickets. He told me I'd have no trouble if I was there early (by 11ish or 12ish). So, we should have no trouble with ticket purchasing. They'll no doubt be less than $20 at the door, and I'll be emailing him sometime before the show to get directions from him. So I guess, in the parlence of our times, it be on. This should more than make up for the abominable lack of BT and Hybrid in my diet of fractal editing-catharsis. And by that I mean the prospect of hearing B.L.I.M. spin his new track Driving should more than adequately refill the boogie quandary that my soul has had deeply sucked dry from....oh fuck me...I'm goin' to see BLIM.

4-17-02 I'll get a messageboard when me shit turns purple and starts smellin' of rainbows! (is that how that goes?)Unless of course, Chuck, you get a fuckin' guestbook. Alright then. BTW, my updates require less tweaking than yours, therefore, they're better.

4-15-02 Kick A Hole should be out next month. It better be....it better be......dammit.....

4-9-02 I'm an asshole. I just woke up an hour ago, stumbled into the shower thiry minutes ago, and stumbled all the way to the theatre just a minute ago. I made a very limited attempt to say hi to people as I stalked by the call board, then promptly left. I think Rhys said hi to me, and I just realized I barely acknowledged him. What a fuckin' asshole I be. God dammit. I gotta stop bein' such a fuckin' prick. But anyway, lots on my mind and lots to do, so I'm gonna have to whole myself up away from the world for the rest of the day. G'day.

4-6-02 Tits be gone. Or at least pushed to the side.

3-28-02 Fuck goddamit hell damn ass bitch PENIS! Hybrid.....Nashville......April 12th....Vinegar Tom.......ah well. Saving my money for impending B.L.I.M. anyway. Just lettin' you cats know, though.

3-25-02 Be warned. Flannel Boy - The Gospel Of Subsonic Funk. Now available.

Side One:

01. Kraymon - Got To Get Busy

02. Leuroj - Stickman

03. Sleepfreaks - Chemical Shift (2 Sinners mix)

04. Orbital - Illuminate (Dark Globe mix)

05. Fatboy Slim - Retox (Freq Nasty mix)

06. Uberzone - Bounce (Rennie Pilgrem & B.L.I.M mix)

07. Tipper - Donuts

08. Nubreed - Midi Killa

09. JDS - Punk Or Funk?

10. Soul Of Man - Dirty Waltzer

11. Bassbin Twins - ESW

12. S.I. Futures - Freestyle Disco

Side 2:

13. Ananda Ghost - Idol (Dark Globe mix)

14. Raze - Break 4 Love (Future Funk Squad mix)

15. Animotion - I'm Afraid I Think I'm Human (Phil K Vs. Nubreed mix)

16. David James - A Permanent State (Waveform mix)

17. Steve Bug VS. DJ-T - Monsterbaze

18. Bushwacka! - Chorus

19. Banca De Gaia - Obsidian (The Light Vs Proper Filthy Naughty mix)

20. Planet Funk - Inside All The People (Lee Coombs dub)

21. Kerbcrawler - Crack Whore (Quinn Whalley mix)

3-22-02 Shameless self promotion time! Coming soon from the near-legendary talents of Flannel Boy: The Gospel Of Subsonic Funk. Featuring tracks by Kraymon, Uberzone, Fatboy Slim, Orbital, Leuroj, S.I. Futures and more! Also featuring remixes by Rennie Pilgrem & B.L.I.M, 2 Sinners, Dark Globe, and Freq Nasty. Ha! I crack me up. I'm thinking about putting up a list of my tapes I've done since I started this thing. I've actually done quite a few, and I know a few of you have lost them. So there'll probably be tracklistings. Ah, sweet sweet solipsism. I'm my biggest fan.

3-20-02

Fuckity Fuckity Fuckity fuckity knob knob knob take it!

Heh. I'll bet.

3-18-02 Kurosawa's Ran is perhaps his most powerful film. I saw it for the first time a few years ago, and was struck by it. I bought the dvd over the break, and have had that reconfirmed. Since I burnt out on movies two years ago, I thought I'd lost what it takes to be rewarded by my patience for films like Ran. I'm thankful I got that back. Yet, Ran, upon my second viewing, strikes me as just as beautiful and moving, but somehow, kind of confusing in its cinematographic structure. If there is anything that keeps western audiences from fully appreciating the scope of this movie, it will be the staging and camera placement. There are many long, unbroken shots focusing on groups of people. Though we get a good idea of how this feudal society conducts its protocol, we don't get many close ups or reaction shots. One who has seen Rashomon or Seven Samurai wonders why there aren't more dynamic shots, and why at many intervals in Ran, the camera seems content to loom from what feels like a great distance, to westerners weened on Spielberg and well, schlock inspired by Spielberg. I reflect on the fact that Kurosawa was nearly blind when he shot the film, and in his seventies. And yet, to further confuse the issue, the film contains some of the most powerful and technically amazing battle scenes of the cinema. Which leads me to believe, particularly after the beauty of the film's final scene, that the distance and static-ness of the camera was planned. Roger Ebert pointed out that the battle scenes in this film are shot from an omnipotent point of view. We aren't soldiers fighting along side, but a god watching with bemusement, horror, and excitement. It was either just the Noh theatre influence, or maybe Kurosawa was using his great sense of humor when he shot the film. We watch from what feels like too far away the proceedings and trepidations of this family. And then, like God, we zoom in for the interesting parts. Other than when things really get cooking, we're not terribly interested in zooming in. All but great suffering or great humor is merely pageantry, and as Gods through the lens, we needn't bother ourselves with anything but. That's probably why the most powerful shots are of the most wrenching details in this great, beauty of a film.

3-15-02 There's Landscape(as the index pic). Judge for yerself. I dug it.

3-15-02 Well now, guess it's time to update. Been putting this off. I'm a little wordless of late. Went to Chicago, had a blast, saw the final American performance of Le Costume, directed by Peter Brook, at the Chicago Shakespeare Theater. It was a beautiful show. Wish we'd had better seats. Saw other theatre, went to the Museum of Contemporary Art, where once again it was proven that random shit can get you places. At least in the art world. Blecch! There were a couple of real pieces there though. I think it may be a sad state of affairs, at least at the MCA, if you typically find yourself put off not by the lack of inspiration, but by the gaudiness and nastiness of some of the art. Some of it was violent and sick. Bothered me. At least the Van Der Rohe exhibit was interesting. My favorite painting was Mark Tansey's Landscape. I may try and find a pic of it online. It's the most visually striking painting there, as far as I'm concerned. Anyways, enough of that shit. I would love to live in a big city. Chicago would be great, because it has convenient public transit, and it's not an asshole cauldron like New York is purported to be. None of us wanted to leave Chicago. I certainly didn't. I can't really articulate right now, anyways. I got two new records, Rennie P & B.L.I.M - Triffid/Monkfish and Jaded Alliance - Wake Me (K & B and FFS mixes). Badass stuff. B.L.I.M always excites me, and I actually found a Future Funk Squad track I really dig. That's rare. Hope he does more like that, or at least as musical as that. Anyway, I'm gonna enjoy the rest of my spring break, kiddies. Take care.

3-12-02 Don't wanna go. Don't wanna go......yep...d'na wana go.....see my Oakey friends soon.

3-4-02 Umm....word is that B.L.I.M is playing in Atlanta on May 16th. May 16th. Atlanta. Atlanta. May 16th. May 16th, etc. Back to work now. G'day

3-2-02 Yippity yappity charts.

3-2-02 The spirit of competition is the killer of creative joy. The spark of inspiration that forces one to elaborate on the idea produced from it can easily be quelched by the sudden realization that there are great competitive forces looming against you, that won't let you give birth to the idea in a broad or complete way. On some level, although over-simplified, the competitive spirit is the cause of mental anguish, war and suffering. Big fuckin' revelation, but one reasserts it time and again, ever daunted by the great disparity between reading such a revelation in a pretentious essay, or unstructured rant, and facing it harshly in the real, fuckin world. Yep. So I'm gonna stop writing like that, but suffice it to say that I'm definetely sickened by the need to compete. I'd rather harness my creative freedoms in a vacuum of my creation, and then go from suck to blow, giving the air right the fuck back to Druidia. In about one hundred years, the previous sentence will make little sense. So yeah, I've not exactly made myself known in the the theatre department at UTC yet. I'm there, I'm acknowledged, but it's not enough just to be friendly and inquisitive I guess. You'll be their friend, but they probably won't respect you until you've proven the strength and largeness of your testicles, or at least have shown fully well that large or not, they contain their own weight. We are of course speaking of figurative testicles now. Remember, I'm endowed with cock ebony hued and length ten feet. Remember.

3-1-02 Heh heh heh.

3-1-02 Shane posted yesterday about his discouragement over not finding a good piece of music to listen to. And it occured to me, that he, as well as all three of my siblings, and myself(and I'm sure many of our friends), were at some point in our lives consumed with the idea that owning a vast collection of music would be not only fulfilling, but also a surefire guarantee of never having a problem with track selection. Well, it's obviously an illusion. The reason you buy tons and tons of music is, first of all, because you've found tons and tons you like. Second of all, you buy a bunch of music hoping the eclecticism will remain fresh for years. Well, it will, if you pace yourself. Typically, I listen to breaks and instrumental electronic music. But lately, I've been diving into music from six years ago I thought I was over, and it's refreshing as hell to realize most of it reaches me like it did the first time I heard it. That's why you get a giant collection; you can put stuff on the backburner for awhile, and then it greets you years later with freshness and spontaneity. Smashing Pumpkins stuff(pre-Ava Adore) is easy to listen to again. All the early-mid nineties rock stuff I was into is fun again. My Danny Elfman cd that I got when I was twelve will never cease to be stirring. The Batman Forever soundtrack fuckin' rules! And a word or two on Nine Inch Nails: Trent Reznor's lyrics could be misconstrued as whiny. I guess sometimes they are. But The Downward Spiral (at least the first half of it), is among the most adventurous and daring pieces of all rock music. No fuckin' question. If there was any rock band with 1/3 of the balls and gusto of NIN, I'd be taken with modern rock. I'll settle for The Becoming, though. It's been so long.

2-26-02 Have fun. And don't look so confused, sheesh.

2-26-02 Hey now, Nick, way to piss us all off. Heh. I linked Rachel cuz her new site is up and running. I also added it to the friends list above. Figured that'd be enough. I couldn't resist typing it that way, so I did what I wanted. There. I've said my piece. Now, g'dammit,I'm Tennessee Cultiafuckinrati, too. And don't none of yez forget it.

2-25-02 Virgin is up and running. Heh. Never thought I'd get to type that.

2-19-02 Must.....have.....Pig Chase......

2-17-02 I started this page on Valentine's Day 2001. I shoulda made an anniversary shout-out on my last post but I did'na. I think, in accordance to personal webpage protocol (that seems to exist in a sorta neverland in the back of my mind), that I oughta make some changes, add some new stuff, and maybe come up with a new title for my page? Anybody going to miss the Darkness Of the Human Soul line? I still like it. It perfectly embodies my attitudes. Simultaneously morose and desperately looking for humour in the mix. That's right bitches. HumoUR. Yeah. Anyway. I'm a lazy fuck. Always have been. My nerves have been fucking my wiring for a few days because I'm simultaneously trying to prove myself in some form or fashion, and searching for the will to do it. The will ain't there, even though the spirit is kicking me in the balls. Hurm...... I feel like, when I'm nervous, it's not because I'm afraid to do something or say something, it's just because I don't have the will to at any particular moment. That'll change as soon as I find fuel and ammunition. Yep. And then I'll rule the fuckin' world.

2-14-02 Charts updated. Do any of you guys actually seek this stuff out? You fuckin' should!

2-14-02 If the script is any indication, and it looks like a fucking blast to perform, Holly's one-act Cut will no doubt be good times. It's on March 1st. I'll be there, and I'll help spread da word. Check Holly's page for more info. I'm sure she'll put up more exact information on the time and place. I can't remember what time she said it was. Anywayz, gonna be back with an update in a few.

2-11-02 Exotic Duck Farm awaaaaay! I finally remembered to link you, Joey. Me lazy.

2-8-02 Now....Why is "crush Jesse once and for all" listed twice? Wtf twice?

2-8-02 Chuck, I hope you know I didn't call you childish. That wasn't the point of my rebuttal. We all know how you feel. Or if we all don't, I certainly do. Now. We need to all go find some tits on the internet and link them. That'll make us ignore our various problems, and stop worrying about nuclear war. I'll try and do that later. For now, though.

2-6-02Erin sent me some cool pics from NYE-E. This was my favorite.

2-6-02 Oh yeah, one more thing on this, and I'll only speak of it again if Chuck's blood has boiled to the point of necessary defense; As for Chuck apparently wanting a real sense of right and wrong, it's true that we all do. I'm not necessarily a moral relativist. Sometimes I think moral equivallence makes sense, sometimes it's stretched too far. But the point I was trying to make is that though we should strive for a perfect world and accept nothing less than what we see as morally right, it's unrealistic in any day and age to expect it anytime soon. I understand why Chuck is angry. It makes me angry too. But I believe that in order to change things, you must first accept it may be an up-hill battle. It's childish to see things in only black and white. We all do that from time to time. It takes calm, mannered reflection to realize that you're part of the problem too. And that you benefit from the current state of fucked up. But we have to work with what we've got here. And when the time comes when our country has to decide between going to war to destroy the aggressors forcing our hands, it's not going to be a matter of right and wrong. We ain't gonna go Gandhi here. Not in the nuclear age. It's going to be a matter of self-preservation. And that is a scary, moral cluster-fuck. None of us would be here today if it hadn't been for the demise of Nagasaki and Hiroshima. That is a moral cluster-fuck.

2-6-02 And of course, as these things go, I left out a little clarity. I don't believe we should be funding guerilla groups to fight communists, and I don't approve of these actions, even if it bears helpful fruit. We've learned the folly of our ways with that one, or at least we should have by now. Second off, I should probably say it isn't childish by any means to desire a world where the government is subservient to the people and we don't go to wars yadda yadda yadda. It's just unrealistic and whiny to bitch about it and do nothing towards those goals. We should strive for that on every level. We should also be more patient with ourselves, and work within the system until the system can do no more good. Aiight then.

2-6-02Read Nick's latest update. And of course, by now, you've read Chuck's rant. Now, there are some interesting, albeit obvious points made there. His blinded rage is apparent from the first word, and I think he let that stupid ass superbowl add get to him more than he should have. I agree with him that it was shallow for Americans to don plastic widdle flags and praise their country, as if our ideology is supposed to change because of terrible disasters. I agreed with him that basically, a little plastic flag is perfunctory, and that if you had a big, bold, beautiful flag flying outside before all this shit, you were a truer American. My mom is an example. She has a very nice flag. I'll have one when I get my own home. A real flag, not a plastic piece of bumper sticker shit. Plus, mine'll be made in the USA. I've always believed a flag burning law would be reprehensible, especially if it stifled your ability to protest American flags made in sweatshops by people who hate us, and are probably thricefold indignant at having to weave our fucking national symbol for a pittance. But anyway, as for Chuck's sphiel; The only thing I disagree with is his attitude towards these facts he's presented. I think he's making a mistake in whining about the add, about our 'president' and about The past three or four republican administrations in general. Yeah yeah, Reagan, and Bush 1 and 2 were and still are corrupt Fundie bigots. No question. That they've subverted both constitutional and ethical practices is apparent, I suppose, if you believe CIA operations are. I think Nick's recent post is interesting because he's smart enough to see the realistic side of our benefit, however amoral, from the usage of the CIA. What troubles me, I suppose, about Chuck's rant, is the simple fact that he wants an easy answer, and a world with a real sense of right and wrong that he believes in. So America is responsible for wrongdoing. This is true of every nation, and America more than makes up for it in its history and its contributions to the world. Because we're a land filled with bigotry and conservative, COm'nist fearing Christianity doesn't diminish the good we've done, nor does it diminish the badassness of many of our smartest citizens. I admire this place because of the few good things we do accomplish. And I believe you're exhibiting a childish and unrealistic attitude when you basically lament that you want a perfect world where governments are subservient to the people and we don't have to go to war and fund shady people sometimes. The way I see it, maybe we've learned our lesson now. Just because the current Bush administration hasn't doesn't mean that future ones won't. And in the end, the attitude that says basically, "fuck it, it ain't workin' the way I want it to, and I ain't gonna help it" is a shit attitude. And all the George Carlin proselytizing in the world ain't gonna refute that reality. I think you make a daring, often compelling point Charlie. But if God really is an asshole, should you accept it, or like the truest representation of great American values(albeit portrayed and crafted by a badass drunken Irishman), Jesse Custer, should you stand up, grab the Lord by the balls, squeeze, and fuckin' do something about it instead of bitching because we have a monkey in the Whitehouse that will soon enough be gone? Come hell or fuckin' Nuclear fallout.

2-6-02 Sounds like somebody's been convinced that being a patriot means you have to swallow bullshit and like it. Not so. More on that when my tummy ain't growlin'.

2-1-02 Days Of Heaven is an absolutely jaw droppingly serene and beautiful film.

2-1-02 This is the most uneasy time of my life. It's not a painful time. It's not a frightened time of my life. It's uneasy. It's an unsure time for me, and my biggest problem right now is that I'm afraid for what I may never get, afraid also for what in ten years or so I could've had, that I disposed of in the process of a goal I may never achieve. I'm sure that sounds very broad, and that there are thousands with the same problem, but I'm fucking serious here. I wince at the more overwrought posts on my page when I read them, because I didn't start this page up to rant in the direction of being insightful. But dammit, sometimes these posts are necessary. I'm feeling very shaky, very nervous, and I'll tell you why. My mind is dulled. I used to go a mile a minute with my thoughts and inspirations. At some point though, I lost the physical durability it takes. I get it back now in intermitant cycles. And I don't know how to summon and focus my energy anymore. Wednesday night was a literally sleepless night for me. At 4:30 AM I gave up. I got out of bed and read some of Alan Moore's Watchmen, and stumbled into Basic Design. I slept for three hours in the daytime. Basically, between the time I woke up, until the daytime nap, I was filled with more mental energy than I've had in a month. That's why I couldn't sleep. It's coming to me, I'm not summoning it. And I'm sure I'm not alone here, but that's not the fucking point. If I'm to live my dreams I have to be able to summon it at will, and I don't for the life of me know how I'm going to do it, or why I even can't anymore. I think it's because I'm scared. God damn this is awkward writing. All the while I was thinking about writing this post it was coming to me more succinctly, tautly, and elegantly. And that's what I'm talking about. How the fuck am I supposed to transpose my fucking ideas if I can't fucking summon it? I know, I know, everybody who has ever written anything from good to great has gone through the same problem you unoriginal fuck, so stop bitching and suck it up? Am I bitching? What the fuck do I do? I'm not asking for fucking help, but these are the thoughts that are consuming me, and all the while I continue in spite of myself to live for my dreams, and not for myself. I don't pursue relationships, I'm not adventurous, and I'm getting closer and closer to the point where that's making me more and more unstable. Malaise is a bitch. So is denying oneself basic personal communication with any other human being and being emotionally cut off from most people FUck. Goddamn fucking bitching fucking weepy boofuckin' hoo solipsistic fuckin narcissistic fucking posts that cry out for fuckin pussified help. Goid dammit (interesting typo). Anyway. I better fucking get what I want here. If I'm gonna live like this for the next twenty years, I better produce films of Felliniesque elegance, Altmanesque wit, and Storarroesque beauty. Or all I'll have wasted my fucking time in the process and missed out on life. Fuck. Fuck. Say it again now, fuck. Fuck FUC_KI

1-30-02 Updated. I don't usually announce when I update this, but I realized there was a lot of stuff on that list that I already had, and a lot of stuff I used to want to hear, but now I don't at all. I'm over the ruffneck stuff. I like dark music, as long as it's not grungy and unremitting.

1-28-02 Damnit. It's 2002. Gotta learn to remember that'n. Holly, I'm more over it today than I was yesterday. I'm sorry I was so grumpy. Love you. Sorry as well to Monique. She is one awesome gal. Nick, I called Holly Devotchka cuz I fucked up. I was trying to remember what they called the Swedish bitch in MST3K Jack Frost, and it's Nastinchka or somesuch thing. Devotchka definetely ain't a swedish word. It's like a slang term for punk-ass or some shit, and we all heard it in Clockwork Orange. Check it. Yeah. But I think it sounds cool, in spite of it being a flubb. Those BT pics are fucking amazing. Looks like somebody paid to have 'em done. I will go cry more now.

1-27-02 It's well known that the fates have a sense of humor. So does my immune system, and apparently it doesn't like Fibonacci Sequence very much; It anticipated it as a cool-ass opening number for BT to use in the only state in the country swamped with breaks, and gave me a cold upon which to flood my inner ears with fluid. Cruel, and a sick joke, both knocking off my equilibrium and muffling the sound in my ears, fucking my chances to even have a good time if I had even gone to Floorida. Fuck. Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck and fuck. And none of this hit me until this afternoon when Holly and Monique walked in the door. I honestly had pushed it out of my mind. And when I asked her about it, I couldn't contain my disappointment. Of course, she jumped to the worse conclusion by assuming that I had secretly wished BT to suck because I couldn't have made it. Maybe she was just kidding when she said that. If he had sucked, I would have not been relieved. It wasn't that kinda deal. I'm fucked, but I'm glad it was reportedly a bitchin' show. If I couldn't seem all smiley and happy for ya Holly, it was because I was internally cursing the fates. I'm thrilled he's such a damn good DJ. Gotta see him now fer sure. And I heard Chuck handed him a cd. Insane. We'll hear about that one I'm sure.

1-24-02Wheeeeee! Gonads and strife! Or, well, at least it's funky gonads and strife. Funky. BT in two days.

1-23-02Chuck put up another mix. Chuck, I was able to download it just fine when I went home on Friday. I've never known of anyone starting out a trance set with Black Widow. That's cool. And the Starecase remix of You Wonder...you bastard!

1-21-02 Happy birthday little Devotchka.

1-20-02 Joy!

1-20-02 Ha! Nick wins.

1-19-02 Go. This is the first mix Chuck has ever put online. Make him more famous! Not bad quality for an 80 bitrate file. Download now, foo!

1-18-02 Fucking Dammit! This shit is intolerable. Strangely, Hybrid also had their studio robbed. Their Electrotek studio in Swansea (Wales UK) was robbed earlier this month. The equipment stolen was: Two Digidesign 1810 18Gig Hard Drives One Digidesign 13 card Expansion Chassis One AW-4416 Yamaha 16 Track 16 Channel Mixing Desk One Korg Trinity Pro-X 88 Note Weighted Keyboard One Korg Triton Keyboard One Yamaha Motiv-6 Keyboar One Pioneer DJ 600 DJ Mixerd Two Pioneer CDJ - 100S CD players One Apple Mac G4 Cube One Apple Mac 21" Flat Screen Monitor One Erricson Remote phone System One Rorke 2 unit Rackmount CDR & DVD One Yamaha CD Burner One Toshiba DVD Ram If you have any information regarding this theft please contact Dist'inctive Records, www.distinctiverecords.com or Tel. +44 (0)20 7323 6610 -Taken from the Breaksworld mailing list. The death penalty ain't enough for this shit. First BT, now this. Fucking bastards.

1-18-02 Just so everybody knows, I haven't been updating because walking to the computer lab all the way from my room is not always the top item on my list. If I had a computer in my room, I'd be updating a lot more, but as it stands now, updates will be quite succint. I'll make up for it somehow. Nick posted some pics. Check em out. We should go visit him. Road trip! Road Trip! I'm comin' home this afternoon for anyone in the Ridge and the Vegas who's interested(Cyber-Nudges Holly's elbow).

1-14-02 Hey all. I moved into my new room yesterday. I'm now residing in Boling 227, and my phone number has changed a mere digit. It's now 757-8312. Heh. What a wanky post.

1-10-02 If it helps any, Chuck. I'm lying. Or am I? See how it feels? Get a fuggin' messageboard get a fuggin' messageboard! Well, get a fuckin' guestbook and we'll talk. Heh. It's funnier this way.

1-9-02Well now,it's about time. Was wonderin' when it'd finally happen. I see a bright future for pictorial documentation in our little kingdome. Yessss. Yes I do. Oh yeah, and Chuck, if you get a guestbook, I'll get a messageboard. Seriously. You need a guestbook. You know you do. Come onnnnn.

1-05-02 New Year Happyveer, as I might pretend Holly would say, though I'm probably grammatically incorrectinveer. Anyway, I'm heading back to Chatt today. The kingdom of journals is growing ever more connected. Most of us have been linked at Shane's page, so go there and check it out. His rants are always interesting and amusing, plus you get one RedDawg, and one Tater. Which everybody needs along with the pre-requisite thneed.