8-6-01 I have done it. I have come up with the perfect cast for the Preacher movie. For those of you who haven't read Preacher, shame the fuck on you. And this list is in response to hearing that Christian Slater was being considered as a contender for the role of Jesse Custer. WTF?
Hoover - Denzel Washington
Featherstone - Ruth Gordon
Arseface - Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen
Si - John Candy
Arseface's Dad - The guy from Full Metal Jacket I guess, I dunno. Some mean ugly fucker. Maybe the guy from American Beauty. I dunno
Jesus De Sade - Jim Carrey
Saint Of Killers - Carson Daly
TC - Billy Bob Thornton
Jody - Woody Allen
Gramma - Julia Roberts
D'Aronique - Edward Norton
Starr - Tim Roth
Cassidy - Mark Whalberg
Tulip - Janeane Garofallo
Jesse Custer - Morgan Freeman
And of course, Paul Verhoeven gets to direct. I mean, my God, whose bright idea was it to even suggest Christian Slater? They might as well take this cast instead, and yes, I do believe Morgan Freemen would be more convincing. By the way, doesn't that seem like an awful lot of money that will never be spent on a blasphemous work of art like Preacher?8-4-01 You may now play. And check this shit out. I would've had made it the MST3K pic, but obviously it doesn't need our help. I'm disturbed and amused by what Ashcroft is thinking. Heh Heh Heh
8-4-01 Heh. I can't believe the poll has only been up a day or two, and already more people want Charlie dead than our president. Strange. Is it because I voted? Nah. I think Chuck just keeps voting to kill himself.
8-3-01 Hey everybody, guess what? No. Guess. Stop fumbling around and guess. Ok. Screw it, then. There's a rave on August 11th. Info here. Please show up. It's a drive more than Oliver Springs, but Chuck and I are spinning, and that's always worth it, right? Please? I hope to see you all there.
8-2-01 5 seconds later. Hmm....I might come up with a better survey later. For now, seal Chuck's fate. Snoogins everybody.
8-2-01
7-26-01 On a lighter note, my charts are updated. And I've added a list of songs I must get. I will get them all. Oh yes. Yes I will, dubplate or not.
7-26-01 I think everyone would agree that I joke around and bullshit as much as everybody else. With that said, it is obvious that we all have much broader boundaries than most people would allow. That we still maintain a level of cordiality is proof that we're not a bunch of savages. But there is a line I absolutely will not allow to be crossed, for which I must let you know, Charlie, you have once or twice, and I'll forget it. But if you have a fucking brain in your head or a heart to go along with it, you'll understand by peering into my guestbook, and take note of some editing I did to your last two posts, you'll know what not to mention again. Don't cross that fucking line again my friend. I kid you the fuck not. Read this not with a smile on your face but with serious thought. I will not tolerate that bullshit from you ever again. Make sure you remember that, and use some fucking judgement. I am not a punching bag, and I swear, I don't care how much ju jitsu you are taking, cross the line again, and you and I will meet in a most unconventional way. That is not a threat, as I am sure you will be kind and sensible enough to conform to this very simple ultimatum. For those of you who viewed the entries he left yesterday before I censored them, you will understand what this is about. For those of you who didn't read them before that, don't let it worry you. I still consider Charlie one of my closest friends, which is why I put up with his bullshit at all.*
7-25-01 I would put the Sammy pic in the MST3K section, but no. Not a chance in hell. Not after the other night whereupon certain desires were revealed by certain people. No No No No No No No No. Heh. For those who were there, creepy, eh?
7-24-01 (20 minutes later)Scathing, Roger, just plain scathing. And absolutely right, too.
7-24-01 (Five minutes later) Check out Adam Freeland's DJ Tips. Chuck, you could learn something. Heheheheheh.
7-24-01 Woah now. That frightens me. A communism post in my guestbook again. I fear that. It led to blood last time. Ye fucking gods
7-20-01 Holly won, but not without a slight modification from me. First time that's happened, but I couldn't resist. Oh, and Charlie, you ain't the only one who's signed my guestbook lately, but if you don't want to, nobody's forcing you.
7-20-01 Holly, as regards your wish for someone to define your writing style, I think you've answered your question. Why define it? If you don't wish to sacrifice a verbal eccentricity for the charity of clarity, why not retain the joy of esoterica? I don't define my writing for the same reason, though I think you and I write dramatically different styles(with some albeit similar vulgarities; liberally inserting the word 'fuck', etc). On some days, my writing is Ellisonesque, I guess, for which he should rightly sue me, but hey, then again, his writing influences, among others, Stephen Kings'. So I'm small potatoes. And Nick, I won't let the credit slip from you. You often (liberally insert the word 'fuck').
7-16-01 Out of shear melancholy boredom I finally finished completing my first DJ Chart(s). I originally intended to rant about all of the music I was into, highlighting each track in the list and just kvetching about it for a paragraph or two. But I never found the time, and now I have too much music to ever possibly do that on every chart. As my music is getting absurdly esoteric and hard to find, as my tastes are narrowing to a single minded obsession (I'm finally a real boy! Geppetto, I need some fucking technics, cook em up and bring that bitch Fairy in here for some mean magic Puntang!), I just can't find the time. Anyway, enjoy what is essentially now a relic, an idea gone kaput. I enjoy the writing in those lists, and of course, the idea wasn't for you to get an impression of what the music sounded like. That would just be silly, silly. The list is continued with Aquasky's Bodyshock, but just go ahead and read the whole second top ten list if you finished the first. That's what I never finished. Toodles.
7-15-01 This is cool. And I liked the crap out of that movie, dammit.
7-13-01 Andy, I've already recorded the sets onto cassette. Chuck was gonna just let it slide, because he's very critical of himself, and he doesn't want to recognize that he stole that show. Anyway, email me at Plaid_Avenger@hotmail.com, and give me your snail mail address, and I'll send a copy to ya. Aiight
7-13-01 Charts updated. I'm getting so much music. I got a cable modem. I love it, but I'm starting to feel guilty. I'm not downloading stuff from well known artists. You all should know that just by checking out my charts. Everything on those lists is downloaded, and I mix it. The only consolation to these artists I guess, is the fact that I'd have never heard them otherwise, and neither would anyone around me. Still, if you look at those charts you realize I owe B.L.I.M, Rennie Pilgrem, Uberzone, Hybrid, Evil Nine, Tsunami One, Beber, Uptown Connection, Arthur Baker, Brothers Of Funk, Darren Chapman, The Spoon Wizard, Koma & Bones, Jasp 182, and even Missy Elliot, a bit of change. I'm sorry. I'll start buying records. I promise! I can't remain a cd DJ forever! Please! Mea Culpa! Forgiveness Please! I'll write you a check....
7-11-01 Lots and lots of stuff. Boy. Maybe not, but I'll give y'all a run down. I got a cable modem on Thurs. I'm in some sort of new immaculate sort of funk. And it be funky. 100k is definetely better than 4.5k. But please don't call me a bitch, technically it's my mom's cable modem, not mine. On Sunday night, way before my broadband overkill began, Kayla (the rave promoter Chuck met) got online and told me that Kellie from Electric Skychurch wants demos from me and Chuck. If she likes us, among a few other people around the country Kayla's been talking to, Chuck and I could be travelling. Electric Skychurch is based in California. According to Kayla, promoters out there would be flying us there and back. This is providing of course that our demos are good enough that we are percieved to be worth that. I hope they think so. I would certainly like this opportunity, even though there's an incredible amount of piss it's scaring out of me right now, along with the fact that my balls just ascended. They honestly should not do that. Good night
7-01-01 Set list posted for you, straight from the rave.
6-30-01 Nape. Verb. Def=To take a flying fuck at a rolling donut
6-29-01 I was just flipping through my crowded incendiary guestbook and I stumbled upon the post where Chuck diluted one of my posts to only the swearing. I will now do that, in sequential order, to every post he's left in my guestbook.
.................Fucking....piss......nigger.....sucks......god damnit!.....ho.......fuckingmessageboard....pagesucksass........shitty website.......sucks.......asshole.......page really sucks.......fuckin' korean.....so fuck you.......fucker......bitemyassrhys@you'refugly.com.........fuck you Charlie and Shane!.............thanks a fuckin' lot, dad!........Jesse sucks......Fuck you Jesse......it makes me feal all tingly in my pants.......I rule! Shit......yeah, he said "Why are you staring at my big black cock?"..........I'll touch it.........flying fuck......Jesse's dykish haircut.......your page sucks.......your fuckin' lame ass theological coconuts.......shove a spear up yo ass.............you're gay!..............it should say eat me, not lick me............is he wearing a rabbit suit with balls on it?............page sucks.......obsessed with colons.........name names ya bollocks........when was the last time a movie shit in your mouth and then forgot to tip? Never. Fuck you.........you're a pussy.........I'm better than all you darkies!...........cock - sneeze..........your page still sucks........fuck that.....braided my bush........but fuck it......FUCKING UPDATE ME MOTHERFUCKING LARD-ASS FATBOY CHEESE-DICKED SUCKY-ASS WEB-BASTARD...................jello - shitters..........you fucker.....bite people in the ass......one's whose ass get's beaten.......fuck youAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA...............nodody gives a fuck......
Yep...and I think somebody needs to take a nape.
6-29-01 Updated. Not much to add. I hope to see you all at the party on Saturday. I'm excited, nervous, and generally looking forward to it. I play first or second, so I'll be able to chill earlier in the party. So it's all good. My shit'll be weird. I hope y'all like it.
6-23-01 Jesus, everytime Chuck signs my guestbook it's like a hot lead enema. By the way, Chuck who did you make out with on the movie posters? Actually, I don't care, as the thought of anyone copping a fuck on top of a bunch of posters of Pearl Harbor and Joe Dirt is strange enough. Yeebus. Anyway, it's just a week until this rave, my set is all prepared (yeah, I premeditate, shit..I ain't Diggers just yet)and apparently I'm going first. Ye fucking gods, that's a scary prospect, for reasons I can't quite identify. But I'll do it. Everyone be there at midnight or you won't catch much of my set. Don't stroll in expecting to hear me at three in the morning. I'm the opener. My set is high energy enough to start a party I guess. Anyway, Cofer, if you've been back here lately, you're a very naughty boy for not emailing me or Bryn or anyone else you love. Dammit! And Rachel, give me your current email address and I'll send you the giant pic of my noggin. I tried to email it to you, but the address on your page was kapput or something. That's about it for now. Haven't much to add, but keeping in the spirit of occasionally informing you of a film or a marital aid that's worth your time, I'll let you know of a splendid one called Panic. Though it's definetly not a marital aid, it's a hell of a fine film. It stars William H. Macy, and he reiterates why he's so damn good. The movie itself is very odd. It has a tense final act, and Neve Cambell is in it too. And you know what? She's an excellent actress. Aiight.....I need sleep. Marital aid?
6-14-01 I just updated my DJ Charts, for two reasons. One, I was tired of a part of my page being incomplete, and two, because I'm apparently now involved in a rave. Mind numbing, pants shitting terror, folks. I'm excited and terrified and generally overwhelmed. But you all need to be there. All of you. My friends, you have supported me and Chuck for years now,and I thank you, and beckon you to be with us in the crowd of strangers. It'll be a hell of a night, but as far as I'm concerned, it'll be much less of a night without the people I know and love. So be there kiddies, and bring two canned foods for a discount, cuz it's for a charity, and you can help. Admission before a certain hour is ten bucks, the rave starts at midnight, it's being held at the roller rink in Oliver Springs (don't laugh), on the same road as the old Tri- County..you know the one. Anyways..this is all too surreal for me. Here's the promoter's webpage. It's still under construction, but you'll want to visit it later when it has more info. I am not going to let my hair fall out in clumps following the fever I've just achieved...peace...
6-13-01 *snicker* I never saw this article before..
6-11-01 SnccckHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh god....
