Disclaimers: Me?
Own the Barbie franchise? Ha!
Notes: I enjoy
writing these stories entirely too much. It’s actually quite sad.
Death Comes to Color-Change Fun Barbie
By Raietta
Color-streaked hair is so in style! Barbie’s relieved that once again she’s kept up with the times. Now, thanks to her hair stylist and five hundred dollars worth of styling products, Barbie’s golden tresses can turn pink, blue, and purple. It’s a marvel of modern technology. And of course she has the trendy outfits to match.
The new style makes Barbie so happy she almost can’t contain herself. Touching a pink lock of hair, she turns to Ken and says, “Getting a new hairdo is fun! Right, Ken?”
Ken grunts. His mind appears to be elsewhere. Barbie is about to speak again, in hopes that Ken will pay attention to her, but by now the corrosive acids and toxic, flesh-eating chemicals in her hair products have reached her brain. The tiny little hemispheres turn purple and blue, go Poof! and fizzle away to raisins. Barbie keels over.
Ken finally glances at her, and grunts again, in surprise. Great. Now he’ll have to call for an ambulance, and he still hasn’t figured out how to use his cell phone. The buttons are so tricky!
Everyone at the funeral is in agreement. Barbie’s hair looks great.
