Disclaimers: Mattel? Mattel? I think I may have heard of such a company…
Notes: They actually have this Barbie in stores. At least, they do in Wal-Mart. It must be so humiliating for poor Barbie… sniff…
How on earth did she end up here? All Barbie knows is that one moment she was touring around Europe with her wildly popular music band, making use of her medical degree by giving physicals to children at each new city and dancing in the ballet company between shows and appointments, and the next moment she’s working the cash register at a McDonald’s restaurant.
For the first time in her life, Barbie is wearing an ugly outfit, with an uglier hat.
The customers keep shouting at her and changing their orders after she’s already handed them their food.
Barbie is horrified. It must be a nightmare. She must be in Hell. Even the sight of her little sister, Kelly, waving to her from a nearby booth can’t lift her spirits.
“Can’t I go in back and make the food?” Barbie pleads in a quavering voice. “These customers are driving me insane.”
“All pretty girls are on the cash registers,” the manager barks, “no exceptions!”
“What is the freaking hold-up!” an irate soccer mom shrieks, banging on the counter while her three loud children shout and cry.
Barbie knows what has to be done. There is no alternative. The smell of grease, burning hamburger meat and ruined dreams will never leave her hair. Only death will end her torment.
Calmly she turns to the soccer mom, who is becoming a mottled red with fury. “I’m sorry, ma’am,” Barbie says, “but we’re out of Harry Potter Happy Meal toys.”
It’s hours before the four burly police officers can pry the soccer mom’s hands from Barbie’s throat. Too late for poor Barbie. The EMT crew sighs and wheels her out of the restaurant. It’s the body bag for this one.
