Problems

Dear S Club Haters, I have a problem. I always thought that my boyfriend had fairly good taste in music, but recently he has committed the ultimate crime: he thinks that "S Club Party" is "a good song". I am shocked and dismayed at this behaviour. What should I do? Help me. Any suggestions welcome. Kate Dear Kate, Your problem is easily solved. Kill him, kill S Club 7, and then if someone asks if Manson or Slim Shady made you do it blame it on the Teletubbies. Mwa ha ha, take THAT congress! Tekkengrrl

Dear Tekkengrrl, My problem is that all I can think about is Paul's firm, hard body. Mmm, just thinking about it makes me want to run to my room and masturbate right now. I even wrote a poem about him. Oh Paul, you are class, I want your cock shoved up my- Tekkengrrl-Next!

dear sclub 7, My problim is that i want to go to yor consit but mi mummy wont let me itsnot fair i lov u all can i join yor band plees thankyoi we can be sclub8 thankyoy my my favorits tina. lov katherin aged 5 Dear Katherine, But muumy's right not to let you go, dear. It's very dangerous to allow your mind to be penetrated by the brainwashing messages in S Club 7's songs on the radio, never mind live! If you want some nice, clean fun, go and see Marylin Manson or Slipknot in concert. Bye!

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