• At lunch time, sit in your parked car w/sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
  
  
• Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
  
  
• Insist that your e mail address is: Xena-Warrior- Princess@postalservice.com Elvis-the-King@postalservice.com.
  
  
• Every time your supervisor tells you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
  
  
• Encourage your co-workers to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
  
  
• Put your garbage can on your desk/case and label it "IN."
  
  
• Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
  
  
• Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
  
  
• In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors.'
  
  
• Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
  
  
• Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
  
  
• Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
  
  
• Dont use any punctuation
  
  
• As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
  
  
• Ask co-workers what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
  
  
• Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
  
  
• Sing along at the opera.
  
  
• Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
  
  
• Find out where your supervisor/postmaster shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your supervisor/postmaster does. (This is especially effective if your boss is of the opposite gender.)
  
  
• Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example, "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom, in Stall #3."
  
  
• Put mosquito netting around your desk/case. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
  
  
• Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend the party because you're not in the mood.
  
  
• Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies.
  
  
• Call the psychic hotline and don't say anything.
  
  
• Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
  
  
• When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!"
  
  
• When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
  
  
• Tell your supervisor/postmaster, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, its the voices in your head that do."
  
  
• Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
  
  
• Every time you see a broom, yell "Honey, your mother is here!"
  
  
  
  E MAIL