Understand this...

• "If you don't win, you lose" - 2-8-01
• "A rule that is a rule that is not enforced is a non-rule" - 2-26-01
• "If you lose, you're not the winning team" - 2-28-01
• "Things don't often do some things" - 2-28-01
• "Hell ya!" - 3-2-01
• "I have a confession to make" - 3-9-01
• "I had three goats" - 3-12-01
• "I stand on my desk and pee on the floor" - 3-12-01
• "I don't like the damn things!" - 3-15-01
• "There's a lot bigger problems in the world" - James Miller
  "Like speed bumps!!" - 3-15-01
• "Yuppie yuppie yuppie!" - 3-15-01
• "There is no democracy here!" - 3-15-01
• "You're fighting apples and I'm talking oranges" - 3-15-01
• "Cut - the - crap?" - 3-19-01
• "That's ca-ca folks" - 3-22-01
• "This is the MOTHER of all peninsulas!" - 3-27-01
• "You're a loser for life!" - 3-27-01
• "AB CDEF GHIJ KLMN OP QRST UVWXYZ - that's the alphabet!" 3-28-01
• "Eight brass monkeys from the sacred crypts of Egypt" - 3-28-01
• "I'm not sure anything" - 3-28-01
• "Today is brought to you by the letter T and the number 4" - 3-28-01
• "We must MUST do!" - 3-28-01
• "You know I'm just so ethical" - 3-28-01
• "Money means everything to me" - 4-2-01
• "I am taking orders for soy sauce" - 4-2-01
• "Less than two hundred, but more than one fifty" (gallons of soy sauce) - 4-2-01
• "Everyone else uses rock salt, why not use soy sauce?" - 4-2-01
• "I went knocking on doors, want some soy sauce?" - 4-2-01
• "Pogs!!!" - 4-2-01
• "Some of you don't know what the hell's going on" - 4-2-01
• "It looks like I'm sitting on the crapper!" - 4-2-01
• "I'm not trying to be funny when I say this" - 4-2-01
• "If I drank all that soy sauce, I'd need to get an enema" -4-2-01
• "See? Too much enema" -4-5-01
• "I don't know what an assgoblin is" -4-11-01
• "I have a great power" -4-23-01
• "Hey! Let's all love the Russians!" -4-23-01
• "Wilson is a very sweet man" -4-23-01
• "I walked through the drive-through" -4-23-01
• "On your knees!" -4-23-01
• "I don't want it. It's dirty." -4-24-01
• "I put a staple right through my hand. Why? Becasue I'm a jerk" -4-24-01
• "I was indoctrinated very quickly" -4-24-01
• "Gas me and yank it out!" -4-24-01
• "To the extreme!" -5-7-01
• "We are having intercourse right now" -5-7-01
• "I don't even believe it's butter" -5-14-01
• "You may use doobie anytime you want" -5-15-01
• "Doobie! D-O-O-B-I-E Doo-bee." -5-15-01
• "A reefer is used" -5-15-01
• "Matt, do you like being spanked?" -5-15-01

  Please Note: Although all of these things were said by Mr. Alman, many of them are taken out of context. Some of these were answers to questions, or things that came up in stories. All related to what was currently being talked about, but taking them out of context is what makes this funny. Barry Alman is by no means a bad man, in fact he is a great man and great teacher as well. Nothing said was meant in a bad or inapropriate way, everything was relevant, you just had to be there. This site was never meant to be seen by anyone, but you know how school is: one person sees it, and 10 minutes later the whole world has seen it. But on the plus side, it brough many hits to our site. Keep in mind that this could have been done with any teacher and/or any person, but we figured Mr. Alman would be the most good humoured about it. And Mr. Alman, if you are reading this and object to anything on here or if you want it taken down, we will reluctantly do so, just send an email to whatthegod@yahoo.com
  Thank you.