"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power" - Abraham Lincoln
We're not entirely sure about Kissinger's statement but pretty smart guy, our man Abe. Those words were uttered well over a hundred and thirty years ago, they rang true then and they ring true today, and never more so in this day and age of the Internet.
These are times when empires have been created in milliseconds and fortunes have shrunk to byte size. It seems this truth also applies in other electronic venues. Reputations are made and smashed on keyboards. Woe be to the chatter who merely hunts and pecks, when faced with a nimble fingered typing diva. And if by chance one's wpm (words per minute a.k.a. keystrokes) are up to par, pity the poor soul with less than stellar spelling abilities. Often they become the fodder for the chatnazis and the power tripping cyber personalities in the chatroom faster than they can type, "Hey wait a minute".
You have seen them Gentle Reader, our Princesses of Chats, our Queens of the Keyboards, but for those of you in doubt; you will know you have found a chatnazi or have become a victim of one in a chatroom, when you go into a chatroom and:
. You see people falling all over themselves to laugh at the Chatnazi's obviously not funny jokes;
. You observe other chatters either working to avoid the Chatnazi at all cost or to be noticed by her at all costs;
. One particular chatter is dominating the conversation and all other subsequent conversations;
. You find yourself suddenly removed from the chatroom without warning by a monitor-lizard or an Op (quite often they are thinly camouflaged Chatnazis);
. You find yourself being virtually verbally assaulted by the Chatnazi for a seemingly innocuous statement;
. You find the you have become a virtual chat leper in the room. And where you once were greeted you are now ignored (insults do not count) or baited by the Chatnazi and her inner circle of fawning sycophants;
. You observe several chatoom brawls/ catfights where one chatter (usually the Chatnazi) is the star of the debacle; .
You find yourself exchanging words with a chatter and she calls in the cavalry ( aka: her fawning sycophants) to defend her honor, whereby you will be promptly slaughtered;
Now for those you who wonder who takes this all seriously, you should know that "English Chatroom Etiquette" is now being offered on campuses as well as through virtual learning portals on the internet. Be that as it may, rest assured Gentle Chatter, no one takes herself more seriously than the Chatnazi herself.
We are of the opinion that it is a " big fish in a small cyber pond" syndrome. Many women who have little or no power in their offline lives find that they can command a virtually captive audience amongst other women who have had little or no real power in their lives. If they are particularly bold online, they seem to have an "edge" over the other chatters. The power plays and struggles and chatroom politics come into play when they perceive that another chatter may have slightly more of an "edge" than themselves. Never more so than if you happen to be in a butch/femme chatroom amongst the darling divas and the strutting cocks. (No pun intended of course) Then it becomes a cutthroat keyboard bloodbath... as the Chatnazi struggles to retain her chatroom superiority.
The particularly savvy Chatnazi will safeguard her position as the Chat Queen by becoming a monitor or a channel op or a list moderator or a BBS boardhost. This assures her of the ability to randomly remove whomever the threat to her fragile ego is all within the space of a frog's heartbeat.
Included now for you enjoyment dear reader is an actual dialogue with a Chatnazi that one of us recently enjoyed after being removed from a chatroom several times for being disruptive. ((Read: we were not fawning enough.)
Chatter says: lol. your jealousy is showing
Chatnazi says: yeah yeah..bubye
ChatNazi says: jealousy of what exactly?
Chatter says: cover it up. its unbecoming
Chatter says: I don't know.. it the only thing that makes sense of this nonsense
ChatNazi says: LOL..hmmmm lets see here..I'm head monitor....and I'm jealous?...I have the respect in the room...of many..and I"m jealous...I think NOT
Chatter says: no you don't
Chatter says: fear does not equal respect
Chatter says: they fear you
Chatter says: they don't like you Chatnazi
Chatter says: if you think they do you are wrong
says: fear?
ChatNazi says: LMAO
ChatNazi says: no one fears me
Chatter says: and so what you are an op in a chatroom.. that's gonna look good on a resume lol
ChatNazi says: but nice try
Chatter says: yeah... head monitor.. there is no such thing.. you are a floor monitor
Chatter says: lol
ChatNazi says: lol your funny but guess what...little miss Chatter..of are soooooooooo wrong
Chatter says: no..im not.. its a chatroom Chatnazi.. get a grip
Chatter says: look how you are carrying on over a chatroom
Chatter says: *shaking head*
ChatNazi says: well there you go, shows how much you know..there is 4 monitor big, high muckeymucks (NOTE: actual titles changed per big, high muckeymuck request) ...I am one of them...than there are floor monitor trogs UNDER US
ChatNazi says: you don't know SHIT
Chatter says: it doesn't matter.. it doesn't pay the bills.... it doesn't put a roof over your head... it doesn't feed the children..... its a chatroom
Chatter says: it doesn't look good on a resume
Chatter says: your non chat friends would shake their head to see you carry on like this
Chatter says: and you know its true
Chatter says: that's the sadness of it Chatnazi
In defense of the Chatnazi we would like to advise that we have met several people in real life after we met them online. Imagine our surprise to discover that quite often the 3-D Chatnazi is mild as milk and honey.
Indeed, some (emphasis on: some) of them have proven to be wonderful human beings with church lady demeanors. Yet others continue to be the same churlish and putrid personalities offline that they are online. But at least they are consistent.
Again, this brings home the point that the anonymity of the internet seems to afford some Chatnazis a certain brazenness and accompanying freedom they have never known before and likely never will offline . A freedom that they exercise with reckless abandon ad nauseam ad infinitum.
It is our fervent hope that we have managed to enlighten and amuse you with this little rant, and indeed if you recognize yourself amongst these words as a Chatnazi we encourage you to remember it is a chatroom venue, is it is not your own personal domain unless it is registered to you.
Chat should and can be an enjoyable pastime and way of interacting and meeting with other women who wear sensible shoes. So please keep your spiked heels and boots off of our delicious derrieres. Thanks.
NOTICE: Do not deluge us with emails citing chatrules and in house watchdogs at various chathouses, as veteran chatters with over 8 years combined experience in several venues, we have seen this scenario played out time and time again. Also..if you're so vain you probably think this webpage is about you ... you might be right. Awareness is the first step to recovery, after all.
Included for the new chatters are links to sites for GLBT chathouses and chat netiquette.
We are always open to your feedback and if you would like to comment on Chatnazi's we invite you to email us at the addy below. Kindly do not send your fawning sycophants to berate us in a chatroom for exercising our right to freedom of speech.
