We’ve danced this dance so many times before, you and I,
As we’ve parted in hasty anger and woke to regret it.
Or so I had believed until you said you stayed, but not ever in love.
Until then, I believed in a lot of things.
Strange, isn’t it, how one sentence can change everything you believe in?

I believed, you know, that We Could Change the World, in truth,
but most of all, in a soulmate, one who calmed my restless being.
And you did, for so long. I wonder if you can or will feel a loss inside,
And when you speak of me, remember I worshipped you, loved you,
fought for you, and laid down my life for you. Bear me no ill will.

Whether you are present or not, you will always be a part of my life,
Don’t you know that you too helped to make me who I am and remain in my heart?
You made me a more loving caring person in my work, you reminded me to be young.
But most importantly, you taught me passion. Then you took it away.

When he leaves, he kisses me on the forehead,
I kiss him on the temple. That’s always meant more.
He keeps his distance. He keeps his space.
And I bide my time, wondering if he is okay, if he thinks of me
And waiting, patiently, futilely, for a knock on the back door.

9/29/97