.

This is what I wrote last year, and I really don't think there's a reason to say any more. We all remember hide in our own way. My anger has cooled as I've gotten older, and I'm left with just a quiet sort of sad, like the cool sound of rain as it hits your window, late at night. More than anything, though, I'm just happy that I found out about him at ALL, because some things pass you by, but other things?

They change your life.

~WriterZero
May 1, 2005

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Hey, hide.

So, it's been six years, man. Long time no see for all of us. How's that whole death thing working out for you?

It's not working out so well for us, I'm sorry to say.

Yeah, yeah, I know. By now we should be over it. You don't have to tell me that. Six years is a long time, in the span of a human life. You get a lot done in six years; you change a lot. Maybe for the better, maybe for the worse, but you do change.

Not that you have, under the circumstances. But still.

If nothing else, your popularity hasn't changed-- the fans still love you with a passion bordering on the unholy. I can only imagine how many people are listening to your music right now, and thinking of that weird, too-quiet empty spot you left in the world. How many people left the house with hair dyed newly neon for you today?

So many. It's almost bizarre. If you could even imagine how many people have cried for you...

Ah, but that's depressing, isn't it? Don't be mad. See, that's your problem, man-- you think too little of yourself, deep down. It made you unable to appreciate the time people are willing to spend on you, the feelings they're willing to give. It's not a waste of time to remember you. Don't you know that people take inspiration where they can? A lot of people found it in you. If it makes life seem a little more unsure, a little more dark and fragile now that you're dead... Well, it's still a lesson learned. And if it makes people, instead, see life as a little more bright, a little more vivid, for your having been in it at all... Well. Lesson number two.

Be happy for those who take it to heart.

I'll admit, I'm kinda pissed at you. A lot of people are, underneath all the sad. What you did, pal, was so not cool. And so not fair.

Were you that angry, or just that stupid?

I guess we can take it as lesson number three: Don't follow in those footsteps. 'Cause we all got to see the fall-out; we all got to witness the after-effects.

People crying, screaming, fainting. They knew they'd lost something, even if it was something far away and never truly known. It was gone nonethelesss.

A couple of suicides, at least. Some couldn't stand to be without you. I'm sorry for them; they followed the wrong example. They missed the other lessons.

Yoshiki, having to give a statement to the press; shaking so bad, on the verge of tears, barely able to read his prepared statement while the cameras looked on. Unable to even raise his head. I felt for him; I cried for his pain. It was easier than crying for mine, after all, and I figured he had more right to cry. He knew you, after all. He knew better than any fan exactly what was gone, what the blank space in the world felt like. He also knew he was going to have to live with that, forever. Back then, it must have seemed a monumental task.

Okay, yeah, I'm getting depressing again. Didn't mean to bring you down; I'm just telling it like it is. I'll wrap this up now, before I get too long-winded.

You were a goddamned idiot, hide.

We love you.

We're sorry.

Goodbye.