Notes
Author’s
Notes: A piece of humorous fluff: The stressed immortals correspond. The world beware.
Warning: Has very little point, but hopefully will
show some “character.” ^_^ This is the
no-weird-font version, but there’s colors!^^
Nemesis’ aura is gold, but you can’t see that, so I made her font blue, since her clothes are that color. The Sentinel’s aura is blue, but his eyes
are red, Thanatos’ aura is purple, and Charon’s aura is black.
Dear
Sentinel,
Come up to my
place—Upperworld is beautiful right now, and you won’t regret the journey. Don’t worry about the Sages…would you
believe I’ve gotten a “carte blanc” of visitation from them? You and Charon won’t be in trouble if you
visit.
Nemesis
Dear
Nemesis,
It sounds
wonderful, but I’m afraid I must decline.
I am far too busy to accept the invitation, as attractive as it is;
mortals seem to be especially unhappy with their deaths lately. You won’t believe the amount of lost souls
wandering to my place. But do invite
Charon—if you can convince him to go, I give you all my congratulations.
With deepest regard,
Sentinel
Dear
Sentinel,
I think you are
utterly insane not to take this opportunity, you workaholic! Don’t you realize how difficult it is to
obtain a carte blanc? Especially of
visitation?
But at any rate, I
sympathize with your workload—mine is nothing to laugh at either. Far too many mortals nowadays need some
retribution…at least I’m not creating more work for you with my own.(1)
As for
Charon—ha! If you won’t come, I’ll bet
you my palace he’ll refuse out flat.
A disappointed,
Nemesis
Dear
Nemesis,
I am sorry I’ve
disappointed you; work has not lightened in the least. How long do you keep your carte blanc?
I can’t say much
for Charon, but he probably has just as much work as the rest of us. Tell Thanatos to please ease up—it’s insane,
how many of the mortal souls are at the boundary right now. At this rate, Satan might take a few and I
would be none the wiser.
Sincerely,
Sentinel
Sentinel:
Can’t really
help it, my friend.
From,
Thanatos
Dear Sentinel,
You’re right,
Thanatos has been swinging that scythe of his like mad lately. I told him to write you an explanation or
apology… Knowing him though, it
probably wasn’t much of one.
Fondly,
Nemesis
Dear
Thanatos,
Your letter was
certainly helpful.(2)
Succinctly,
Sentinel
Dear Nemesis,
Yes, I’ve gotten
his “letter.” It is utter mayhem around
here. I just ran into some problems
involving Satan and a soul and almost lost the latter. Just prior to your note I had sent 7 souls
beyond the boundary…but I won’t bore you with the details. Hope you are, at least, faring better. I wouldn’t know.
Regards,
Sentinel
PS—Have you heard from Charon?
Dear
Sentinel,
I’m tempted to go
down to the mortal world and give Charon a beating. His reply was not a reply. You don’t give a friend and colleague a one-word
reply.
I’m sorry about
Satan…did you know what you were getting into when you first decided to work
there? I don’t suppose this was
something the Sages bothered to tell the people who came to try out. As for myself—the Sages are sadists, to give
me a carte blanc when I have no opportunity to use it.(3) Sadists, I tell you.
That’s it in a
nutshell.
With love,
Nemesis
PS—I made Thanatos write you a longer note. Have you gotten it yet?
Dear
Sentinel,
Nemesis is forcing
me to write you something long, but the fact of the matter is, I have
nothing to say! I mean, I heard you
were very busy down there, and I feel for you, my friend, but really, I can’t
just stop work. Overpopulation
is a very serious issue. Someone should
stop these humans from breeding. It’s
turning into an epidemic.
And, well…blah
blah blah, blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah.
I honestly can’t
think of anything else to write.
Sorry.
I think this pen
is running out of ink.
No, it’s still
good.
Nothing
more.
Good luck with your job,
Thanatos
PS—You better tell Nemesis that was the longest note you’ve
received.
Dear
Thanatos,
Our pens don’t use
ink. But thank you for your effort, I
will do as you’ve requested immediately.
An amused,
Sentinel
PS—Agreed about the breeding epidemic. Perhaps we can ask Omnus to turn some mortals into asatyrics.(4) It’ll keep the population down.
Dear Nemesis,
Thanatos’ note was
disappointingly short. Point him in the
right direction.(5)
Sincerely,
Sentinel
PS—I don’t think the Sages knew about Satan until after I
told them about him. Then they just replied,
“Deal with it.”
Dear
Sentinel,
I’m working on
it. Besides his regular work, I’ve
pulled a few strings so he’ll be getting paperwork as well. He’ll learn to write decent notes one day.
Speaking of decent
notes, I think you’d better do some work on Charon.
Fondly,
Nemesis
PS—Any more problems with Satan?
Sentinel—
You are a cruel,
cruel little immortal. Did anyone ever
tell you that?
Thanatos
Dear
Thanatos,
Why, whatever
brought on that accusation?
Your
good friend,
Sentinel
Nemesis—forward to Thanatos:
Put down your scythe or I will go up
there and break it.
Charon
Sentinel—
Charon threatened
me! Go put some sense into that
immortal’s head. It’s not my
fault the mortals keep having children!
By the way, my dear,
esteemed friend: I haven’t forgotten
what you did to me. Take note of that!
Thanatos
Dear
Thanatos,
Thank you for your
warning. I’ll certainly take note of
it.
Fondest regards,
Sentinel
Dear Nemesis,
You really have
to describe Thanatos’ face to me when he found he had more work. I don’t see nearly enough funny things in
the House of Lost Souls. Satan being
the number one reason.
In desperate need of a laugh,
Sentinel
Dear
Sentinel,
Attached is what
you requested. How does he manage that
thing with the eyes, I wonder?(6)
Love,
Nemesis
Dear
Nemesis,
Thank you, thank
you! I’m thinking of framing the
picture. Thanatos couldn’t be better
portrayed.
Sincerely,
Sentinel
PS—Please tell at least one of the Sages that if they don’t hold a
council soon and get me out of here I shall go insane.(7) Would you believe one of the mortals tried
to kill me? It didn’t work, of course,
and the demons got a nice dinner, but really, that’s ridiculous.
Sentinel—
Burn that
picture now or you’re dead.
Thanatos
To Charon:
Stop asking me to
forward things. Send those notes to
Thanatos by yourself!
Nemesis
Thanatos:
One. Last. Time. Put down your scythe. Or make me a cart. Do you think that I’m some kind of bottomless abyss for carrying
souls?
Charon:
Here’s your
cart. And look, do me a favor. Go to the House of Lost Souls and torture
the Sentinel for me. Or take the
picture of me that he has and destroy it, whichever is more convenient.
Your colleague,
Thanatos
Your sense of humor is not
appreciated. And your sense of fashion
is hideous. Who would put purple snakes
as the handles of this…cart?
Charon
Dear
Thanatos,
I’m shocked and
appalled, good friend! How could you
try to drive a wedge between the friendship I have with Charon? I heard about what you’ve asked him to do,
and let me tell you right now, Charon was all for framing your picture. Especially after that…uh, vehicle you made
for him. What is it, by the
way? What is it supposed to do??
With love and tender affection,(8)
Sentinel
Sentinel—
“With love and
tender affection”?? Are you
insane? Were you lying when you
said you were asatyric?(9)
Your colleague,
Thanatos
Dear
Thanatos,
That was such a tasteless
joke. I’m officially disgusted.
An
extremely asatyric,
Sentinel
Dear
Sentinel,
One of the mortals
tried to kill you? Now how did
he/she manage that?? You’re a little
hard to kill… Are you losing your scary
touch or something?
As for the
council…All I can say is, “Wishful Thinking.”
Deepest apologies,
Nemesis
Dear
Nemesis,
No, I have not lost
my “scary touch,” whatever you mean by that.
The mortal was insane and I was going to make him demon fodder anyway,
but he tried to break my neck before that.
A lot of good that did him.
Are you sure
the Sages won’t hold a council? I think
even Charon is starting to get stressed.
Sincerely overworked,
Sentinel
PS—This might help with their decision: Tell them that if they don’t
hold a council to get me out of here, the demons will be getting an early Thanksgiving
feast. I mean it.(10)
Nemesis and Thanatos,
You’re the Upperworld division of
the Souls’ Immortals. You tell those
confounded Sages that I refuse to be used as slave labor. Do it now.
Charon
Dearest
Mortal World Division of the Souls Immortals,(11)
Just to tell
both of you: I’m so stressed I’m thinking of just offing half the human race
with an epidemic of a grand scale. I
thought you might want to be warned.
Thanatos
Thanatos, you dolt:
That’s over 3 billion mortals
you’re talking about. Do that and I’ll
stuff this cart-thing down your throat.
You
know who I am
Thanatos:
What do you mean,
you’re thinking of offing half the human race?? Animals come to the House of Lost Souls too! Inanimate objects come to my place, for
Daitra’s sake! Don’t you dare
hit the earth with an epidemic or I will take that lovely picture of yours and
distribute it all over the Upperworld metropolis. You wouldn’t want that, would you? I remain
Your friend,
Sentinel
Nemesis:
What’s wrong with you, you
imbecile? Your justice balance is out
of wack. There cannot be so many
mortals who need retribution.
Who
do you think this is?
Charon you
jerk how dare you call me an imbecile it’s not my fault that so many
mortals have problems and go around murdering people for no reason whatsoever
which is just like what I feel like doing with you except I think I have a very
adequate reason!
Dear Sentinel,
Your best friend
is dead as soon as he steps foot into Upperworld. I thought I’d prepare you for the shock.
Nemesis
Dear
Nemesis,
Why? What did Charon do now?
Sentinel
Dear Thanatos,
You were
joking about that epidemic, right?
Sentinel
Dearest
Sentinel,
Joking? What makes you think I was joking?
Thanatos
Dear
Thanatos,
See this picture? Remember it? I have lots and lots of copies.
Do you still want to test me?
Sentinel
Sentinel,
Can’t we talk
about this?
Thanatos
Thanatos,
If you’re still
serious about that epidemic, no.
Sentinel
Nemesis,
The Sentinel is not my best
friend. Get that idea out of your head.
Charon
PS—Please.
Dear
Sentinel,
Nah, Charon didn’t
do anything. As soon as I wrote to tell
him that I was going to distribute memory orbs of him talking to you all around
the metropolis and labeling them “Best Friends of the Century,” he became a lot
more civil.(12)
Your friend,
Nemesis
Dear
Nemesis,
Should I laugh or
be insulted?
Sentinel
PS—We seem to utilize similar techniques of “convincing” others.
Dear
Sentinel,
Do both. Or be both…
Whatever.
Nemesis
PS—Hey, what can I say? It
works, doesn’t it?
Dear All,
A flash of
inspiration: since we’ve all been
writing notes to each other and accomplishing nothing, why don’t we
collectively write a note to the Sages and accomplish something?
Thanatos
Dear Thanatos,
Terrific idea! I’ll go burn that photograph of yours this
instant.
Sentinel
Once in a while your rusted brain
works.
Charon
Dear
Sentinel and Charon,
I’m assuming
Thanatos has already told you of his brilliant “inspiration.” I don’t know what’s wrong with me: why
didn’t I think of that?
At any rate, here
are my conditions for that ‘note’ to the Sages. Thanatos has already written his. Add your own, by all means.
Esteemed Sages:
We, the Souls’
Immortals, feel that a vacation in the very near future is necessary for
our collective health. Before you
rashly refuse the said vacation, we would ask that, with all due respect, you
take a look at what would happen.
Nemesis
All just retribution to the mortals will be immediately stopped and
immoral humans will run rampant.
I will also refuse to do any and all paperwork Your Eminences
should send my way.
Scouring duties will be left to my Beryllus colleague: Lux. I won’t be doing them.
So there.
Thanatos
Death to all mortals will instantly cease and the world will
become more overpopulated than it already is.
The other extreme is that I just off the mortals completely with
some terrible disease.
Neither of them helps the balance any.
Sentinel
1.
Satan will be overjoyed;
2.
The demons outside my door will be
overjoyed.
Really now, need I say more?
Charon
Obviously
all of us plan to stop whether you grant us the vacation or not, so you might
as well just grant the vacation and save yourselves some aggravation.
Besides
which, you know what will happen when I stop working, or you’re slower
than I thought.
Signed,
Nemesis
Thanatos
The Sentinel
Charon
(1) Nemesis is talking about the fact that because she is the Goddess of Vengeance, her decision to kill a mortal is final. So the souls of people she ‘offs’ will never go to the Sentinel’s place.
(2) He’s being sarcastic, for all those slower people out there.^_^
(3) The “carte blanc” of visitation can only be used when the involved parties are free, i.e.—not really busy.^^; So since all of the immortals are working like crazy, Nemesis can’t use it. Otherwise, the “carte blanc” is supposed to make it okay for her to invite people who wouldn’t be allowed in Upperworld due to the nature of their duties; for instance, the Sentinel and Charon. (That’s the basis of the beginning of my multi-part, btw.^^)
(4) “Omnus” is the equivalent of the “Supreme Being” in immortal terms. He/she appears when Daitra and Beryllus fuse together. The definition of “asatyric” can be found in the story “I Will Come to You.”
(5) Oh yes, the Sentinel enjoys a practical joke just as much as his friends.^_^
(6) I have no idea how immortals take photos. They certainly don’t use cameras…
(7) The Sentinel is talking about the “Blossom Council” of Upperworld, which is held whenever the Sages want a report from all immortals holding any sort of duty. It lasts for a really long time, so the Souls’ Immortals look at it as an opportunity for rest.^_^
(8) The Sentinel waxing sarcastic. It’s so much fun to write.^^
(9) Thanatos strikes back… He apparently doesn’t think it’s very funny. :D
(10) In case you were lazy and didn’t read the Sentinel’s profile, he is in charge of feeding these demons outside the House of Lost Souls, whose diet consists of souls, not surprisingly.^_^
(11) Thanatos is talking about the Sentinel and Charon, who work in the mortal world, hence the name…obviously. ^_~
(12) Charon is in such denial…it’s great.^^
