by Em
emeraldspike@yahoo.com
Title: How I Feel
Author: Em (emeraldspike@yahoo.com)
Feedback: Please, this is my first JP3 fic.
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Not mine, wish they were. Using them for selfish reasons,
I'll give them back, eventually...
Distribution: the list archive, anyone else, just let me know
Category/Classification: not sure, might have to go with Gen
Spoilers: lots, especially for the second day
Summary: Billy's thoughts and more as they find Eric and Alan after
that first night on the island
Dedication: Johnny, for being my beta on this and just being there
for me and showing me that we aren't the only two who knew Alan &
Billy weren't just teacher and student…
It's my fault. Alan's out there alone and it's all my fault. He
doesn't know what he's got and that ignorance, my stupidity and
obsession with the dig just might have killed him. I'm so sorry Alan.
I'm torn from my thoughts when I hear the Kirby's yelling and see
them running towards the giant fence that splits this field in half.
There's a dirt-streaked kid at the fence and they're hugging him,
guess that's their missing son. I can't help but smile, albeit sadly,
at their reunion. They're together again. They'll be ok, a family
safe and happy with each other. But Alan- he's gone. And he'll never
know why the `raptors attacked. Never know how I feel. Amanda, Mrs.
Kirby, has fallen silent, staring at a form walking across the field.
It looks like... Alan? Oh my god, he's alive. My feet start moving on
their own even as I keep staring.
Alive.
I reach through the bars and clasp his hand, just having to touch
him, feel he's real. I feel his strong firm and steady grip returning
my slightly weaker, trembling one.
Then the kid, Eric, says he found us by listening to the phone's
ring. The phone which is….currently resting in the Spinosaurus'
stomach. Without thinking, as if on cue, all of us start running,
searching desperately for a gap or hole or gate in the fence,
anything big enough for Alan and Eric to fit through. Finally we see
one and Eric leaps through, Alan barely makes it before the
Spinosaurus closes its massive jaws against the fence.
Amanda and Paul are nearly smothering Eric with hugs and Alan
just stands up and dusts himself off with that same nonchalance he
always has, though there's a slight limp to his walk and his chest is
heaving. He walks up to me and it's all I can do to keep from
blurting out how scared I was, how worried and sick I felt, how much
I lo... No. I can't tell him that, not now.
But maybe if we make it out of hell alive, maybe then I'll tell
him. If I have the strength to survive this place, I have the
strength to confess to Alan why the raptors were after him. And tell
him my feelings, tell him how I feel.
