Me: So, a lot of people have made fun of your work, brushing it off as boy band crap, and not real music. How do you respond to that?
N*Sync 1: Well, whenever someone bashes us, I like to just count my money. Sometimes I walk down the street and point at bums and laugh and say "HAHAHA!!!"
Me: Well, I think that's something we all enjoy. You certainly do have a large and loyal fan base, that must make you feel good. And yet, there are even more people who hate you than like you. Does that ever bother you?
N*Sync 2: Sometimes, but again, then we just count our money. I mean, that's what it's all about right? No wait! The fans. It's all about the fans. Damn agent, didn't prep me for that.
Me: Gotcha. Ok, the vast majority of your fans are little girls. Does the fact that your choreographers and song writers...
N*Sync: (rudely interrupting) Hey! We wrote two of our own songs on our last album.
Me: Yea, ok whatever. Anyway, all the PR staff's campaigns and your songs and dances seem to be aimed at giving you a sexy kinda look. Does it ever bother you that your whole career seems to be based on seducing young children?
N*Sync 6: Actually, I find it rather flattering that we've got young pre-pubescents fantasizing about us all the time. I think everyone needs someone to dream about when they first start exploring their bodies, and I'm quite glad for that to be me.
Me: (silence) ...right. So, where do you see your career going in the future?
N*Sync 3: Well, our agent said he only gives us two more years, tops.
Me: Well, we can all be thankful for that. On that happy note, we'll draw this interview to a close.
N*Sync 3: Hold on, what about my plans? I was thinking about designing a new kind of Flobee. I mean, look at what that thing did to my hair. It needs some work.
Me: Yea, ok. These guys are going places. That wraps it up. By the way, you guys suck.
At this point, I tried to run away as I was saying that, but I sorta tripped, so I had to pretend that I meant to leap away and then turn with a bit of a twirl and then face them impressively. They responded without hesitation.
N*Sync 3: Hey, listen. I'm sick and tired of hearing all these people talk about, what's the deal with this pop life and when's it gonna fade out. The thing you've got to realize, what we're doing is not a trend. We've got the gift of meoldy, we're gonna make it to the end.
Then they got in with the dancing. It was nearly too much for this interviewer. Ugh, it was almost enough to crumble my hardened battle worn exterior and make me break down and cry.
They proceeded to surround me, and then these seemingly harmless, possibly gay young men became much more dangerous.
N*Sync 2: Don't hesitate to use your nails boys.
They were hair pullers too. I had to hit them with a chair. Anyway, interview over. My scalp is gonna hurt for days.
*I wanted to get an exclusive interview with N*Sync. But those bastards must screen their calls. So instead, I interviewed some bums on the street, and we're just gonna pretend they're N*Sync. I don't think the interviews credibility should be questioned because of this, cause those guys don't actually know how to think anyway.
