The Story Behind the Claw
The creators (who graduated from The Psycho Adademy) wanted to make something amazingly......genius. Which was the Mega Claw 2000©. They first tested out the claw by chasing little children, harrassing students, amputating people's arms off (with no anesthtia) and replacing it with the Mega Claw. Everyone loved the idea of the Mega Claw (even if they were in pain). Ever since then it's had a life of it's own. Literally.

The Dude
By now, we're all familiar with the legacy of the claw. But few, besides the creators of the Claw, know the story of the Claw's closest ally, the Dude. Back when the creators of the Claw were still young and had not yet graduated from The Psycho Academy, a odd dinosaur/pegasus creature appeared. The creature changes into various colors from time to time and is know to be the Mega Claw's sidekick. Since then, it has led adventures, from swimming in toilet paper clogged school sinks to jumping in chocolate milk, and now with the aid of the Mega Claw they are reaching new levels of psychopathy and in the art of pissing people off.

Captain Lezbo
TA TA TA TA TAA TAAAAAAAA!!!! Hear the high pitched athmem of this odd superhero and you know the most recent addition to the Claw team is near! Found lonely and desperate in the sands of a beach far, far, away by one of the Claw creators, Captain Lezbo was cleaned up and soon skipping merrily on his faggy way. Since his recovery the superhero (who strangely resembles Captain America) has moved onto a career in T.V.-starring in his own soap opera and appearing on MTV cribs. He also accompanies the Claw, Dude, and Lieutenant General Capatain Private Nemo in their grungefunkpoppunkunderground dance mix. Although his "sensitive" nature prevents him from participating in much slaughtering he is the queen of melodrama and and issth suchs a sssthilly goossth!!

Obituary
"The sweet placidity of death! it is more beautiful than sleep."- Mark Twain. We contemplate these words as we remember the tragic expiration of our dear comrade, Captain Lezbo. Lost at such a tender age (yea, we're not sure exactly HOW tender... the carbon dating results haven't come back yet... hell, he could be, like, forty or something *shrugs*... it just sounded good... but we digress...) we find it difficult to justify the death of our beloved male lesbion. Prompted by accusations of the Captain meddling in the black arts, we were ultimately forced to put our friend on trial for witchcraft; reminiscent of the Salem Witch Trials. He patiently endured the agony of truth trial by boulders, test-drowning in a pit and public lynching. Dismemberment preceded his final fate before he was laid to rest in a shallow grave. Oh, Captain Lezbo, your childlike face, serene and gay even under the spell of death... we will never forget you.