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(This story by Teri Kronberg Copyright, December, 1999)

A Man
There is a man of a young middle age making his way through the market square of a town in an old eastern-block country. He walks with a severe limp, due to a misshapen leg, and is almost completely blind. In fact, a white film obscures part of the center of his eyes. He's not a beggar. He's not a poor man at all. However, people stare at him as he passes. Some of them feel he should be somewhere out of their sight. Some of them feel superior to him. They will never believe that he was once a young man of good health and prosperity, with perfect vision, and a most postural walk. They will never notice that his eyes are as green as the land in Springtime--nor observe his lovely fair hair blowing in the breeze. They will never know the intelligence and worldly wisdom he possesses. The man has his dignity. He doesn't hear the gasps, nor feel the path widen, when they step back and away. He simply continues to make his own way among the many carts and stands.

However, the man's mind wanders as his ears catch the sound of two people conversing. He stops and leans against the corner of a building. The two men, standing alone in an alley, are discussing the unusual healing methods of a new doctor in town. They say he's using some of the old ways, natural and herbal remedies, and such things long forgotten by the pill-popping doctors of this age. The man is intrigued. Their conversation suddenly descends into whispers--about dark remedies and miracle healings. The man becomes excited more, but forgets his cane as it drops from his grip. Disturbed, the men end their conversation and walk away.

The man is discouraged, but shakes his head and walks onward. Suddenly, he stops and realizes that he has lost his way. He begins to think about each turn and pathway. Lost in concentration, he is startled by soft footsteps from behind. He turns slowly. Even though he already suspects this person to be a woman, since his nose detects a delicate scent of perfume.

The woman boldly, yet gently, reaches out to him, and takes a hold of one of his hands. She places the palm to her chest. Then, slowly moves it up to her face, and touches the fingers to her closed lips. Again, she repeats the gestures. Instead of alarm, the man understands that she cannot speak. Still holding his hand, she places the palm on his own chest. Before he can begin to wonder what she is trying to tell him--she is pulling his arm and walking away with him.

There is something about the nature of this woman that makes the man understand he can trust her. Suddenly, he realizes that she doesn't know where he lives. He begins to tell her the address and a few landmarks from a distant memory. The swishing sound of her long hair catches his attention. She must be slender, he believes, for her fingers were long. Her hand felt slightly smaller than his own and not fleshy at all. She moves swiftly through the crowded square, and down the modestly peopled streets. Since he feels a certain confidence radiating from this woman, the man manages to keep the pace.

The man lives with his older cousin, who takes care of his needs at home. When they arrive at his house, the man asks her to stay for dinner. His cousin, who shows them in, observes her smile and nod of acceptance. Soon, she is living with the man and his cousin. Then, she is taking over several of the cousin's duties toward the man.

However, at night, and at no other time, she creates another duty to perform. She enters his room and makes love to him. It's as if she were blind, constantly touching and caressing him all over. Her lips trace a line of kisses from his face down to his toes--in between, taking several detours. Always, she is in control, sitting on top of him and swaying with the motions of her strong passion. Occasionally, he dares to reach for her. Half of the way, she takes his hands in hers and brings them to her lips. She kisses them, caresses them and, one by one, brings them into her mouth. He has never known such a feeling--not even when he was younger and completely well.

In the morning, he never dares to ask her why she treats him so kindly and so lovingly. The woman communicates through the cousin by writing down words on a small pad of paper. However, with the man, she must mouth her words--while he touches her lips. Sometimes, his acute hearing gives him the feeling that she is actually emanating slight sounds.

~o~o~o~o~


More and more, the man grows to depend upon the woman's lovemaking. He even begins to walk a little straighter, and strains to see more than a severely blurred shadow. However, the dreaded day arrives when the woman must leave--without mouthing even a good-bye to him. Instead, she wrote a letter for the cousin to read to him. She wrote of feeling sorry to leave. Then, she wrote three words in larger and clearer letters...I love you.

He doesn't know what to think of her declaration. She hardly knew anything about him or his life before, nor did he know anything much about her. He feels perplexed, and most of all--desperate to find her. His cousin mentions that the woman had once written a letter to a wealthy man in a town not too far away. The man suspects that she has gone to that place.

There is a problem for the man. He cannot find this mute woman in his condition. She had once found him--lost in his own town. A deep depression comes over him, until.... He realizes there is an answer to all of his problems--the new doctor. He struggles to remember the name, then has his cousin find the location of the practice.

The next day, the man meets the doctor, who will make his ailments better. The doctor gives him a powdered solution. The man must mix this powder with water. It becomes a thick mud, which must be rubbed on his leg and over his closed eyes.

That night, before he lies down to sleep, the man applies the doctor's remedy. Fortunately, he sleeps very still, so none of it will wipe away. He has little doubt that he will be a new man in the morning. Indeed, as he opens his eyes, the blurred sunlight gradually becomes clearer. Within a few moments, he can see as clearly as the day his eyes first opened as a baby in his mother's arms. He sits up and gazes at his legs stretched out in front of him. They are both straight and well shaped.

Wasting no more time, the man dresses and sets off for the house of the wealthy man. For the first time in years, he sets himself behind the wheel of his car. As if he had only been there yesterday, he turns it on and drives away. It is only a few hours, until he reaches the open gates of a vast chateau. For some reason, the place looks familiar. The owner is an old friend of the family.

He soon renews his acquaintance with the wealthy older man. That evening, they dine at a quaint table centered in the middle of the largest room in the house. The ceiling of this room is only the sky itself and it's brilliant stars. Surrounding it, is a covered balcony. There are entrances for rooms on this balcony, suddenly one of them opens. The man notices the light and gazes up. Suddenly, his heart sinks. Standing up there before him, staring into his eyes is a lovely woman. She perfectly fits the description his cousin gave him of his muted love. She has long brown hair with waves of fiery highlights. Her eyes are blue. Her skin is fair. Her body is not too thin. Her age is difficult to determine, near to his own he suspects. Also, her eyes suddenly meet with his own, and she seems to be upset.

The older man smiles. He tells his guest that she is the daughter of an old friend, and has come to visit for a while. She travels from place to place doing charitable work. He confesses that he wishes she would marry him. Alas, she always politely declines.

The woman then turns and disappears down an obscured passage. The man watches after her. Then, he asks his host if she is mute. He confesses to having seen her before, but that she never spoke.

With apparent eagerness, the older man begins to explain the woman's story. He begins first, by saying that she has nothing physically wrong with her throat. She merely hasn't spoken for several years. When she was young, all of her life, she traveled to many different cities and countries. On one occasion, while abroad, she had a traumatic experience. At first, there was a physical problem with speaking. However, after her throat healed, she remained silent. No one knows what truly happened to her.

~o~o~o~o~


After the meal, the man walks up to the balcony and searches for his love. Suddenly, she appears in front of him. Uneasily, she gazes at his face, then downward. Impulsively, he reaches out to her. She mouths the word "please", then turns her back to him. His eyes downcast, he asks her to forgive him. He meant no harm.

With tears in her eyes, the woman turns to look at him, before retiring into her bedroom for the night. The weight of the man's sadness gives him an idea. He will give some of his medicine to her. She can put it on her neck, and later speak easily. Perhaps, he believes, the trauma inside of her will ease as well. However, he cannot give her this medicine himself. It must be given to her by the older man.

The next morning, the older man presents the medicine to her. He tells her it will soothe her throat. From him, she suspects nothing.

The man has only to wait, until the afternoon, for her to meet him again on the balcony. At first, she stares at him accusingly. This is his opportunity to explain. He tells her that the medicine she applied to her throat is in fact the same medicine he used to cure himself. However, it is not a cure. He has to keep on using the medicine to maintain his normal appearance. He has only enough for one more day. After that is gone, his injuries will return. The same will not be true for her, however, since her throat was not damaged. She will still be able to speak.

Her once accusing eyes are sad now. She gestures for him to follow into her bedroom. Inside, she removes her clothes and asks him to make love to her. Within a few moments, the scene is as it might have been before, only now he seems to be the one in control. This time, he is the one devouring her--covering her with kisses like a spider would spin a thread over it's victim. He grasps her hands, each in his own, and stretches his arms out above her head. As she slides further upon the bed, he rises above and inside of her. His lightweight body feels stronger than his appearance would suggest. She feels only the need of him.

As they lie together, the woman decides to tell him why she didn't speak. She tells him of a trip somewhere in the Middle East, where she was raped and nearly strangled by a supposed friend of her father. She was very young at the time, and couldn't tell anyone. He had taken advantage of her passionate nature. Afterward, traveling alone and silent, she maintained a certain mystery about herself--and a needed distance from everyone else.

After a moment passes, he turns over and lays his head down on her chest. He slips one of his hands in hers and their fingers inter-twine. He tells her that now she can go on without any more worry or trauma. She can speak to anyone and everyone. She can become a member of the world again. Then, after relishing in the warmth of the moment, he rises from the bed and begins to get dressed.

Startled, she tells him that she knows he's not leaving so soon. He has another day's worth of medicine to sustain him.

Alas, the man confesses that he gave the last of his medicine to her. He wanted her to be able to speak. All along he wanted to see her, and help her find her way again--as she had once helped him find his way.

Grabbing her robe, the woman quickly follows him out onto the balcony and partially down the passage. Then, she stops, even though he continues to walk onward. Taking great pains to remove any emotion from her voice, she asks him a question. She asks him to guess why she left him so suddenly?

He stops and turns to gaze at her. His reply is silent, merely a few slight turns of his head. He never understood, and yet he did.

She sighs heavily and tells him how he helped her discover the feeling of joining her soul with another. He cured her loneliness and repaired her spirit. He allowed her to feel everything that was possible to feel. She became overwhelmed and frightened, which drove her to leave. She had waited a while, and decided to return. However, when she arrived, he had already gone away.

The notion suddenly strikes him that she truly preferred the near helpless and crippled being he was--to the man he wanted to become for her. He asks her if that might be true.

She nods slowly, and declares again that he allowed her to feel. With a slight warble in her voice now, she states that she can definitely move on with her life as he suggested. She can put her past behind, as she had always done by leaving each place. She can seek a normal existence without him.

Tears begin to flow from the man's eyes. He watches as she turns and walks away. He has hurt her, but for the best. She was confused before, now she will make her life better. He continues trying to convince himself of that as he returns to his car. While driving away, he begins to feel his left leg numbing. His eyes are beginning to blur. There isn't much time left, before he returns to his former self--like Cinderella after the last stroke of midnight. He chuckles to himself, remembering that he left his cane, like a glass slipper, behind. Will the loveless princess know it belongs to him? He suspects the answer to be not at all. She has moved on, already he is in her past.

Leaving the car at the turn of the road to his house, the man calls out. His cousin hears his voice and meets him at the front doors. Without another word, he pushes his way inside and makes a path slowly up the stairs. His bedroom is on the ground floor, but he wants to be alone. His old bedroom is up there. He remembers where to find it. He wants to feel his old books, and the bicycle he road back and forth to the university. He has nothing but the past now.

His cousin stands at the bottom of the stairs listening as he slams the door and locks it. Before he can reach the bookcase, however, he is overcome and falls onto the bed sobbing. He sobs for hours, like he has never sobbed. Eventually, he succumbs to sleep.

He lies there with the lids of his eyes half-open. Through the blackness of his dream, he hears a familiar voice. Then, he sees her glistening eyes and her quivering lips. Her passion is so strong that her body is trembling underneath his fingers.

His eyes open completely as he feels someone sitting down next to him on the bed. He turns onto his back and sits up. Suddenly, something is pressed into his hands...his cane. Then, he feels the fingers of her hands brush back his hair away from his eyes. He begins to breathe heavier as she moves closer and wraps her arms around his torso. Her head is resting against his chest. He lowers his face as if to look down at her.

Before he can ask her the question in his mind--she reveals the answer in his heart. She has already found her way, and it's with him.
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