Interview with Anita Bryant
Miss Sandy: Well Anita, I'm glad you could make it.
Anita Bryant: I am glad too, it's been along time since I've been in the public eye.
Miss Sandy:Yes I am aware, personally, I thought you were dead or something. My personal advisor thought you had changed your identity and moved to Mongolia, and there were rumors that you had joined the Russian Mafia, and the tabloids said you were abducted by the same space ship the took Elvis.
Anita Bryant: Oh, that was not the case at all, and as you can see, I am very much alive. I just took some time and relaxed. Got away from the media.
Miss Sandy:Yeah, that is the case when most people publically humiliate themselves.
Anita Bryant: I never did tat, and that is not what happened at all.
Miss Sandy:Strange, that sounds like the same thing John Paulk said.
Anita Bryant: No, I never made a fool of myself.
Miss Sandy:Oh, I'm sorry. Did you suffer from a dissasioative fugue? Amnesia is always such a confusing thing to deal with.
Anita Bryant: I DO NOT HAVE AMNESIA!!!
Miss Sandy:Oh, so you are just in denial about your assanine antics, much like Jerry Falwell and Dr. Laura. Anyways, How do you feel about the fact that while you were believed to have vanished from the face of the earth Dade County did end up granting some equal rights to gays and lesbians?
Anita Bryant: Oh, I was a little dissapointed, I had worked so hard and sacrificed a lot to have those rights revoked in the late 70's. But I guess it was going to happen sooner or latter.
Miss Sandy:Really, why were you so upset about those rights in the first place. All it did was prevent homo and bi sexual people from being denied employment based on their sexuality.
Anita Bryant: Miss Sandy, that means that homosexuals could hold any job they wanted.
Miss Sandy:Well yes, provided they are qualified to hold that job. I wouldn't expect a lesbian with a G.E.D to be working in the local hospital as the head dermatologist.
Anita Bryant: Yeah, but that means that they could have a job as a teacher.
Miss Sandy:And your point is?
Anita Bryant: They would be in the schools, teaching, our children.
Miss Sandy:Yes, that is the general idea of what teachers do.
Anita Bryant: No, I mean, homosexual would be teaching our children!
Miss Sandy:And, you're problem is??
Anita Bryant: They will teach our children about homosexuality, and the children will turn gay. It would be a bad influence.
Miss Sandy:(Wild gales of laughter) Anita, surely you no longer believe that?
Anita Bryant: Yes, I still do believe that.
Miss Sandy:Wow, 20 years of breakthroughs and your still as ignorant as ever. Anita, do the children in Spanish class turn into hispanics?? Do the children turn African during Black History Month, did any of the children in Geography turn into Eastern Europe?
Anita Bryant: Well, No, that's just absurd.
Miss Sandy:THANK YOU. It is absurd, and it's exactly what you believed in.
Anita Bryant: I did not! The gays would influence our children, and teach them about gays. Then the kids would turn gay.
Miss Sandy:So if there was an influence of stars in science class, and the children were taught about stars, and watch videos about stars, and wrote essays about how stars are formed, and then the children woudl all turn into white dwarfs.
Anita Bryant: Wouldn't they turn into stars?
Miss Sandy:Ok, Never mind. I'm just saying that children do not turn into what they learn in school, and they do not turn into what ever their teacher is. If that was the case, there wouldn't be a teacher shortage.
Anita Bryant: Well, that's true. But this is different.
Miss Sandy:Oh, no, I feel all tingly, I think I'm turning into a washed - out beauty queen. Oh you and your influence.
Anita Bryant: No, it's different. I'm talking about sexuality.
Miss Sandy:So then how can all these people even be gay when there was no gay teacher influence in the school?
Anita Bryant: Well, they must have had some other influence.
Miss Sandy:So then I guess keeping the gay influence out of school is pointless, seeing how it's somewhere else.
Anita Bryant: No, it has to stay out of schools or else there will be MORE gays.
Miss Sandy:The only thing I'm worried about is MORE beauty queens. You know they kill baby seals to make lipstick, and they slaughter sea turtles to make eye liner?
Anita Bryant: Oh, they don't do that anymore.
Miss Sandy:Thank goodness, it's bad enough some beautiful animal has to die so some bimbo can look good, it's even worse to worry about what type of animal guts I could be smearing on my face when ever I apply some eyeshadow.
Anita Bryant: Ish, that's just gross.
Miss Sandy:But that's not the topic, we're talking about you, and your idea that homosexuality is something that people are transformed into as a result of homo vibes emitted form other gays.
Anita Bryant: Pretty much, yes.
Miss Sandy:So, that erronous idea is what lead you in your 'save the children' campaign?
Anita Bryant: Yes. I wanted to save the children.
Miss Sandy:Well, isn't that sweet. But didn't this lead to you loosing your job?
Anita Bryant: Yes, I was spokes person for Florida Orange Juice. But people started to boycott it, and I couldn't be the spokes person any longer.
Miss Sandy:And then your Marriage suffered?
Anita Bryant: Yes, that too.
Miss Sandy:And so did your singing career?
Anita Bryant:(sigh) That too.
Miss Sandy:And then you decided it would be best to dissapear from the public eye?
Anita Bryant: Yes. At first it was really interresting, I was getting to talk and meet lots of people, cameras were everywhere. But then, it all back fired.
Miss Sandy:Well, what goes around comes around.
Anita Bryant: What?
Miss Sandy:You REAP what you SOW.
Anita Bryant: How do you figure, I got the short end of the stick?
Miss Sandy:You decided that gays didn't deserve the right to have a job and not get fired because they are gay. You felt that gays should be perfectly fine earning minimum wage and striving to make ends meet. It's only fitting that you loose your job, and have to make ends meet. That the publicity chew your up and spit you out. And as an end result, no one really cared what you did for the past 15 years. It was only that after Dade County grant equal rights to gays that people started to say, "Hey, where'd that crazy lady go?"
Anita Bryant: I don't have to sit here and be insulted.
Miss Sandy:Well, Good Day Ms. Bryant, and hopefully we wont see you again for another 20 years.
Anita has vanished, and as a result, Dade County has equal rights for gays. Read about by clicking here.
To read a summary of Anita Bryant and lunatic tirade in Dade County, click here
To read Playboy Magazine's interview with Anita Bryant and see what has got to be the DUMEST thing she's ever said, click here.
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