Thank God I'm a Country Boy Author: Lady Leonie Malory70@yahoo.com Disclaimer: I don't own them, I don't profit from them, so don't sue me!! Rating: R (a little lusty roll in the hay) Characters: Ares/Gab and some farm animals. (not what you’re thinking) Archive: Take it if you want it. Just let me know where I can come visit it sometimes. ARA ARA AROOOOOOO!!!! Ares sprang up off the bed and covered his ears. "By the god's! I will never get used to that infernal racket." ARA ARA AROOOOOOO!!! "Shut UP!!" Ares screamed out the window, as he tossed his well worn boot at the offending rooster. A loud thud, followed by a grunt of pain, sent him stumbling out the door. Lying half conscious on the ground outside, was a very embarrassed bard. "What the Tarturas did you do that for?" Gabrielle yelled. "I was aiming for the cock!" Gabrielle raised her eyebrow and looked down at her lap and then back at Ares. "Ha! Ha! Very funny. You know what I meant. Now tell me something. What are you doing here? Come to check up on the poor helpless ex-god of war?" Gabrielle stood up and dusted herself off. "Actually, yes, that's is exactly why I'm here. It's been three months since we left you here and I just thought I would come see how you are doing. Excuuuse me for caring!" "Caring? Pity is more like it. Poor Ares! He is so helpless now that he is mortal. I better check and see if he needs his ass wiped or something! Puleeease! I am not a babe, Gabrielle. I CAN take care of myself." "Zeus, Hera and Hades! You just can't be nice to some people! Sorry I stopped by!" Gabrielle went to mount her horse and leave. "Wait, I'm sorry." Ares walked over and put his hand on her knee. "I'm sorry, alright? Come on in and I'll let you fix me some breakfast." Gabrielle was always a sucker for that little grin of his and quickly dismounted. "On one condition." "What's that?" "YOU gather the eggs." Ares came back inside to find that Gabrielle had changed from her warrior garb into her little farm girl outfit. The little blue top left little to the imagination and the skirt. Well the skirt was a source of unlimited entertainment, whenever she bent over to do something. Too much time alone there on the farm, had left him as randy as a goat and his little sword strained at its sheath from the picture she presented. The sound of eggs hitting the floor brought her attention to the returning Ares. She had to stifle a laugh, when she saw the chicken feathers laced through his hair. "Chickens still getting the better of you, I see." "You think this is funny, don’t you? Well laugh it up Blondie. Oh, by the way. I like my eggs scrambled" he grinned as he tossed one of the eggs at the now giggling bard. The egg cracked Gabby right between the eyes and the fight was on! She returned fire with a lump of bread dough that landed on top of his head. The rest of the eggs came flying like missiles as Gabrielle dashed under the table. Scooping up the shattered pieces, she tossed the running yolks back at him. Several minutes later the duo sat side by side laughing at the havoc they had raised. Bits of dough and egg dripped from every corner of the room, as well as themselves. Gabrielle went to wipe a particularly large glob of dough from Ares face and their eyes met. The laughter died in their throats as another emotion took over. The pent up attraction they held for each other, broke from its prison as Ares captured her lips in a fiery kiss. Neither one, spoke a single syllable as they impatiently tore the others clothes away. The chaos created by their little food fight, was nothing compared to the shambles left by their fevered lovemaking. The two rolled around on the floor through the muck and mess. Kissing and stroking every inch of flesh with their bodies joined together as one. After several hours of alternating vigorous and languid sex, the duo passed out from exhaustion. Ares felt a warm tongue licking his neck and groaned "Again? Geez, Gabrielle where do you find the energy?" When he went to lace his hand through her hair, he found a wet nose and tangled fur. His eyes opened in a flash to find his dog instead of his bedmate. "Horace, you mutt, get off me" he growled as he pushed him away and looked around for Gabrielle. She was not in the house, but he could hear her humming outside and went out to join her. He found her beside the barn emersed in a makeshift bathtub. Slowly he crept up behind her and was just about to pounce when... "Care to join me, Ares?" "How did you know I was there?" Gabrielle turned around and smiled at her lover. "The smell of rotting eggs of course." Ares wasted little time joining the amused bard in the tub. He nearly jumped back out when his body felt the now cold water. "Don't be such a wuss!" she giggled as he settled in front of her. Using some scented soap that she always carried with her, she lathered up his hair and washed the gooey mess out. After rinsing with some clean water she had set aside, she once more picked up the soap and began slowly rubbing the soap all over his well muscled body. With his head resting between her breast, Gabrielle leaned over and kissed his smiling lips. "I could get used to this" he whispered. A frown crossed Gabrielle's face as she realized she could easily get used to this as well, but... "I will be leaving in the morning, Ares. I promised to meet Xena and Eve in Thrace." "They can wait!!" "NO THEY can't, Ares. As much as I would really, really, reeeeaally like to stay, I just can't. Tell me you understand." "I suppose I do. Doesn't mean I wouldn't like for it to be different." That night after a modest dinner Ares silently stood up from the table and walked outside. Gabrielle started to follow, but stopped herself at the door. "What was I thinking?" she whispered. "You were thinking with your libido not your brain." A voice in her head answered. "That's not fair! I care about Ares, a lot. More then I care to admit, actually." "Then why are you leaving him?" The voice asked. "Because, Because...he loves Xena" When Ares had not returned for some time, Gabrielle decided to go and find him. It did not take long, since she immediately saw the light flickering in the barn. Gabrielle slowly opened the door to find Ares sitting in the hay absently petting his dog. The sight of him nearly broke her heart in two. "Ares." He looked up and patted the spot beside him. She sat down beside him and rested her head on his chest. Silent tears flowed down her cheek as he raised her chin and kissed them away. Ares shooed the dog out and got up to bolt the door. As he walked back to where she sat he began taking off his vest. Gabrielle's heart beat wildly in anticipation of what was to come. ARA ARA AROOOOOOO!! Ares woke up to the grating sound of the rooster’s crow and found himself alone. Beside him on the hay he found one of Gabrielle's scrolls. Silently he unrolled the parchment and read the note she had left. Ares, I'm sorry, but I had to go and I knew I would never be able to say goodbye face to face. I had a really wonderful day with you, but I know that you are still in love with Xena. I'm not sure now, knowing how I feel that I can come visit you again. But know this...I love you, Ares and I have for a very long time. Please take care of yourself. Love Gabrielle Ares wadded up the scroll and tossed it away. "I love you too, Gabrielle" FINI