Following last months hot wax on the genitals incident during candle rituals, I would like to thank Genua who suggested throwing myself in the freezer and waiting for it to go hard, then chipping it off..will try that next time dear ok??
This months tip for the new witch is a true tale of what happenned to me in what should have been an ordinary Circle and involves the correct placement of your altar within the confines of the Sacred Space.
Now , depending on what book you adher to you will doubtless develope a preference for which quarter your altar goes to....the important bit is to allow enough room between it and the edge of the Circle to allow you to pass freely. THEN ADD ANOTHER 2 FEET!!!
Picture the scene, the curtains are drawn, there is a hush in the room, the furniture has been cleared back, and an assortment of people gather waiting for the circle to begin....some clothed some skyclad all barefooted and all excited for their own reasons. Newbies, intitiates, adepts, all united in their worship of the Goddess and the God. The Circle is cast in my usual way (see Kaizen's favourite Circle in The Way of the Witch on my site for details), and we start to dance and move around the Circle, the music playing from the little sterio hypnotic, friendly and rythmical...all is going well, tensions ease, newbies start to relax, the power begins to build....
On about the third or fourth time around on passing the alter the HP (me) really getting into it, I just catch my little toe on the edge of the Altar, and instantly lose it!!...The resounding "CRACK" and 'RIP" as the toe that doubles as "And this little piggy went wee wee wee all the way home" met the immovable edge of the altar was heard accross half of england. What was heard instantly afterwards can best be described with the Christian phrase of "Speaking in Tongues". I started speaking fluent Mayan (specificly the battle cry of the fresh Eunoch) and moving in an identical fashion to a Native American Shaman on Acid while still trying to maintain some sort of Circle discipline. 6 witches rushed towards me (2 to see if I was ok, and 4 to fight over the toenail with was several feet outside the Circle edge, a valued prize apparently....have no idea why LOL), and miles away deep in an army bunker an old gunnery sergeant had major memory flash back to his days as radio operator in the mid 80's listened to the strangled cries of "KIDZEN" at 8pm every night.......
Now this was to be a healing circle, to try and loosen a womans' inhibitions (no more info than that chaps..so don't get excited!!) so she could experience the part of her marriage that, up until that point was lacking. As the catalyst it was my job to store the power raised and at the correct moment release it to the intended patiant. Anyway, the power became instantly 1000 times stronger than intended, my mind was on other things so it got away from me..it wasn't too bad, I was only 100 yards off target at a range of 34 miles. I hit a pensioner standing at a bus stop waiting to go and play bingo. It was her first multiple orgasm for over 40 years, and last reports I have are of her bombarding the local council for permission to buy the bus stop.
So be warned!!!...Allow enough room!!....For the record it rained for 72 hours afterwards and our local weatherman couldn't understand why.....the only person not affected by this down-turn in weather was a pensioner who for some reason didn't leave the bus shelter for over a week, aparantly waiting for something.......................
ADVICE TO OLDER WITCHES The above wont effect you, your toenails will be hard enogh to stand the impact..LOL
