deconstructing mark
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Wednesday 26.11.03 | THERE was I, attempting to be diligent this afternoon, slaving away at the essay of shit-boredom, and, yes, of course, Charlie had to walk into the flat with a Broadband modem. Work flew out of the window, and that was five hours ago. I am still getting used to the novelty of sitting in my room pratting about on the web :-) Anyway, back to my story. So we get out the Installation Guide, and before even opening it, I started to giggle, just knowing that Charlie -blonde philosopher flatmate- and me -just blonde- wouldn't be able to get beyond the contents page. This is how it ended up working out: Approximately 16.30: Giggle at MC8000UE-S1/S4 Installation Guide and Users Manual. 16.31:Open booklet. Smile momentarily drops off face when see LED Indicators but soon begin to find it funny again. 16.32: What is a TCP/IP? 16.35: Nope. Answer does not come clear from snorting in derision at handbook or staring blankly when Charlie asks a question (not, I might add, that she is being any bloody help at this stage either; I admit that she knew which end of the leads to put in the computer, but she collapsed into ridiculous smirks as much as me.) 16.40: Right. Look. Cannot be so difficult - if Toilet Trev from Tadcaster can get Broadband, so can bloody we. 16.41:Or maybe not. 16.50: Various wires are assembled in different bits. Phone works still, yippee! 16.55: Fuck off - I mean, who gives a shit what a Default Gateway is anyway? 16.57: What is a Subnet Mask? 17.00: Charlie and I, between us, speak three languages, but none of them is what is written in the sodding instructions. I quote: Leased line user may select 1483 Bridged IP LLC or 1483 Routed IP LLC depending on the phase of the moon and what colour underwear you have on. Sudden nightmare that this is going to be the content of translation exam paper this coming May. 17.03: What is DHCP? 17.05: Decide to ignore that bit. Lots of time, fiddling about, crossed wires and general confusion later: Suddenly, computer leaps, Icarus-like, onto the Internet, and we are surfing. Whoops and cries. Rah. Oh god, just before I go - came back to the flat this morning to find rainwater dripping through the roof on to some notes I'd left on my bed. Have told my landlord and he's apparently coming round tomorrow to deal with it, but fuck only knows what that means. Ulp. Thursday 27.11.03 IT'S possible to lead a cow upstairs ... but not downstairs. Apparently. Saturday 28.11.03 AH, the joys of Broadband. Sitting at home, allegedly working, actually pratting around on the internet doing very little. Rah. PS What is the past participle of ming? Mong? Mung? Mang? Minged? Hmm. Irrelevant. Sunday 29.11.03 Went to see the fucking bizarre Six Characters in search of an Author last night - interesting play, but bit of a one-trick poney if you ask me; rehearsal hijacked by six characters who have a story but no written play, yes, questioning the nature of reality, acting, actors, random Spanish tranny, yes, blurring the boundary between audience and stage, yes, we liked, but we weren't enthralled. But worth seeing though :-) | |||||||||
