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"HAIL TO ALL TROO BLACK METAL WARRIORS.  HAIL TO ALL FERAL WEREWULF CHILDREN OF DARKNESS.  HAIL TO ALL VAMPIRE LORDS OF EVIL.  HAIL TO SCREAMING GHOUL SERVANTS OF SATAN.  HAIL TO CUSTOMERS OF "SUPERIOR" RECORDS.  DEATH TO CHRISTIAN TRAITORS!!!!"

"Another question I get asked frequently is: 'Hey, are you a mime?'  A pitiful demonstration of the weakness of Christian Sheep!  Can they not see my Viking Armor?  When the day of their Judgement comes, it shall not be at Christ's feet, it shall be beneath the swords of my Trollish Warlords, who shall bring the BLACK SWORDS OF DESTINY."
 

"Honestly, this is TROO BLACK METAL corpsepaint I'm wearing, not a piece of paper with a photo of Euronymous's face printed on it."

"All HAIL the true power of BLACK METAL EVIL!!!!"

"Due to my extensive occult studies, I have discovered the secrets of eternal life and SUPREME SATANIC VAMPIRISM.  No, this is not King Diamond on Acid, this is not the flute player from KISS, not a mime who plays 'VAMPIRE: The Masquerade' on weekends.  THIS IS A VAMPIRIC BLACK METAL VIKING.  HEIL."

"Any TROO black metal viking berserker who is STRONG enough to join one of the 13 American Troll Clans may send me US$55.00 and a S.A.S.E. to Yronimos, c.o. "Superior" Records USA, Spotsylvania, KY 42501, or use this handy ONLINE FORM."

"Here I appear for the first time LIVE in a CONCERT.  My band opened for GodVomit, the SECOND MOST EVIL KENTUCKY BLACK METAL BAND in EXISTENCE.  HAIL VORK!  We do not perform on the same stage with FALSE BLACK METAL bands such as Dimmu Borgir, Cradle of Filth, Mayhem, Immortal, Emperor, Burzum, and Nu Spinal Tap."

"This is not me without corpsepaint, this is an EX-FALSE CHRISTIAN POSER whom I am converting to the Dark Side."

"My sword is not, I assure you, made of styrofoam."

"I am the true Computer Hero.  I will exist before I have died a thousand fiery deaths, outnumbered by the flimsy CHRISTIAN SWINE."

"None who have not faced me in the harsh glare of real life may comprehend how frightening I really am.  FOR I AM TROO EVIL."

"With all the dark, evil knowledge at my disposal, I still cannot understand how those Christian FOOLS, those FALSE BLACK METAL POSERS, can in good conscience buy any music from THE PATHETIC CORPORATE GIANT THAT IS CENTURY MEDIA.  This CORPORATE BEHEMOTH is draining the talent of the Nordic Countries like some VAST CHRISTIAN VAMPIRE PARASITE."

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