An interview between an anonymous Century Media Bulletin Board member, and Mong, one of the alter-egos of Yronimiis, one of the alter-egos of Yronimos:
Q: "A recent record review claims that you may have an altar, and plenty
of ego, but little talent. Would you care to comment?"
A: "The scene is crowded with narrow-minded fools who cannot comprehend
exactly what it is that I am accomplishing."
Q:"What, precisely, are you trying to accomplish?"
A:"In this photograph, I prepare to give Wanno the bird. Don't
be a Wanno."
Q:"You are the self-described 'Scariest, evilest creature in the entire
Kentucky Black Metal scene'. How do you accomplish this, er, distinction?"
A:"Props! One's evilness increases in direct proportion to the
number of evil props at his disposal."
Q:"You... er, I mean Yronimos has recently claimed that you would never
give an interview, yet here you are, giving an interview. What gives?"
A:"I tried to tell me- I mean, I tried to tell Yronimos that I speak
for myself, but I didn't listen to me. Instead he went off raving
about being strong or something tiresome like that. So, I agreed
to this interview without telling me about it. Boy will he be pissed
at him when he finds out."
Q:"Do you, or any of your other egos, ever find it hard to keep up
with which of you is which?"
A:"Sometimes I recieve e-mail in the wrong account from fans trying
to reach a different me, and I have a hard time understanding what they
are talking about, or which me the mail was intended for. And last
year I was accused of burning down the oldest Baptist church in Kentucky,
and I really don't know if I did or not."
Q:"You burned down the oldest Baptist church in Kentucky???"
A:"I did no such thing! Ask Yronimos about that one!"
Q:"You are accusing Yronimos of that?"
A:"I think he did do it!"
Q:"Yronimos insists it was Morona LaFey, and that he can prove it."
A:"Yronimos helped."
Q:"That's what he said about you."
A:"He would do that! That WEAK POSER SCUM! That is the
christian influence on the Black Metal scene today- too many traitors ratting
everyone out. The TROO Black Metal warriors would NEVER do that!
CHRISTIAN TRAITORS WILL DIE!!!!"
Q:"Your music has been described as irritating, dull, and pretentious.
How would you respond to your critics?"
A:"My critics are narrow-minded fools who cannot comprehend what it
is that I am trying to accomplish. My music is a deeply personal
soundscape, and as such is a reflection of my own personality. How
could anyone say that my music is irritating, dull, and pretentious???"
Q:"Is it true that you have moved into seclusion, living in a tar-paper
shack in the hills of Tennesee to write these ambient soundtracks of the
unconscious?"
A:"Absolutely not! That shack is in the majestic hills of Kentucky,
among the meandering brooks, the ancient and timeless forests, the dark
and depressive caverns, and the desolate misty mountains, where I gain
my inspiration!"
Q:"Many have commented on your elaborate costumes and outfits, and
opinions are divided: what are the alter-egos of Yronimiis, and Yronimiis
himself, supposed to be? Mimes? Clowns? Trolls?
Elves? Smurfs?"
A:"Trolls are little plastic guys with buggy eyes and frizzy hair.
Everyone knows that. Mimes don't mumble, or shriek monotonously.
Only Greek, Portuguese, and American Black Metal bands have clowns in them.
Smurfs are only 3 apples high."
Q:"What do you say about rumors that you came up with that wacky blue
makeup when you were three apples high on crack?"
A:"I do not understand that question!"
Perhaps due to the blue corpsepaint, Morona LaFey has often been accused
in the Black Metal rumor-mill of representing a smurf, a diminuitive magical
blue being from American Folklore.
"I AM NOT A SMURF!!!" Exclaimed an irate Morona LaFey, one of the three
known alter-egos of Mong, an alter-ego of Yronimiis, an alter-ego of Yronimos.
Our staff photographer caught this terribly evil, and frightening,
scene on film. Try to guess what is happening.