So, what does an ~*angel*~ look like? 'Tis me! ~*soft smile*~ This is Gentle Angel in the flesh, well, as fleshy as the internet will allow. ~*giggle*~ This picture was taken a few years ago, but it is still who I am. I work for the Nation of Texas, and love what I do for the people of the state. I investigate unemployment claims, and it never surprises me when I hear a story of why someone was terminated from their job because of something really dumb that they did. I like to call myself a truth seeker, because all of my work is done strictly over the phone. Sometimes there are times when I end up having to pay benefits to a person that I don't feel inside they deserve, but when I make a decision like that, I know that I did the best I could, and my decision is a binding one within the law. That is what matters the most to me, in my humble opinion. ~*soft smile*~

I am recently divorced, and am rather unsure about getting back into the dating scene after all the pain and heartache that I've had to experience over the last few years. I became 'officially' single once again on December 14, 2001. I guess you could say it was an early Christmas present to myself, because that was the best thing that could ever happen to me. I have had to deal with some major issues with the former, but as time has gone on, I have learned more about the stranger that is no longer in my life, and see now that I made one of the wisest choices I could ever make for myself. I won't take the time to go down old ghost-riddled paths, but life for me over the last nearly ten years has been very painful for me, especially the last few years. But, it has been a time for growing, and that inevitable word called change. No one likes change, but that is what helps each one of us grow and learn from past mistakes, hopefully sooner rather than later. ~*soft smile*~

Over the past couple of years, I have had many people come and go in my life. I've lost touch with people once considered friends, and have discovered others who portrayed themselves to be friends turn into people that were very much like the former that I was married to. At one time, I was very giving of my heart and my trust, but not so much now. I have very few that I consider close to my heart, and I treasure those few souls with all my heart and soul. You know who you are, and I can't begin to say thank you in great appreciation for blessing my life the way you have. You've touched me in ways I never imagined would be possible, and showing me that love is something to not run away from no matter how risky it might appear to me. Someone very close once told me that in order to know if something is meant to be, risk must be taken by stepping out from the shadows and towards that light. One won't know what will happen if life goes by and no risk is taken, even if it means a heart will be broken. I am learning that slowly, and I have gained so much from stepping away from the shadows the way I have recently. One has touched my heart in ways I thought only existed in fairy tale fantasies. And, I can't share with this person how much it is appreciated to have the patience, guidance, and teaching that has been given to me slowly and gently, but with respect, honor, and truth as well. Change is a difficult thing to face and accomplish, but the risk that is involved is priceless when the gift is given back ten fold the way it's been given back to me.

I have just lost my grandfather, Paps, this past week (July 24, 2003). I was called at work just shortly after I arrived by Dad, and was told of the heartbreaking news that Paps passed in his sleep while he was surrounded by love by his wife (my Gram) of over 56 years, and his loving daughter, my mom. I'm still dealing with the tornadic emotions that are boiling around inside, and weep easily at the smallest things that bring the tears to the surface when I feel there are no more to shed. The world has given up a great man, one who taught others about being honest, who respected his fellow man, one who fought for his country strong and proud during the hellish years that World War II brought our country, one who was a grandfather to every child in the local neighborhood, a man who filled his heart and soul with laughter. I miss you so much Paps, so very much. You taught me so much, and I tried so hard to make you proud of me. I pray that the time that separates us goes by quickly, so that I can dance up in the clouds with you again, and enjoy those special smoke rings you made for me on cold winter nights, and warm summer evenings. I love you so much, now and for always.

On April 11th, 2003, I married my Beloved, my best friend. It was a day of great celebration. Because of personal reasons, we decided to have a quiet ceremony at the Justice of the Peace, and wed alone with the Judge being the only witness to our spoken vows. It was a match made in heaven for my Husband and I. He fills all of my empty spaces so perfectly, and I do the same for him as well. Even though we can have very opposing views on different issues, it's those differences that make our love that much greater, that much stronger. Life has never been the same since my Husband came into my life. But, life before him was so ordinary. It's now very exciting and filled with passion, filled with fire, filled with great love and joy. Why would I want to go back to dull and ordinary?

It was during the early part of 2003 that my Husband and I found out I was pregnant with our first child. This was a great surprise to both of us, especially me, because I was told so long ago that I would never be able to have children. My pregnancy was a very difficult one. We had to go in for special tests time and time again. I had issues with having too much amniotic fluid, premature labor, and high blood pressure that was quickly getting higher and higher as the end of the pregnancy grew near. Because of having possible health issues come up with me, the decision was made all around that I would be induced and labor would start before the planned due date. My Husband and I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy on October 30th, 2003. William Joseph was brought into this world and placed in our loving arms at 4:55 pm, weighing 7 lb. 9.2 oz, and was 21 inches in length. Since his fast arrival, life has never been the same for all of us. Babies have a way of changing so many things. Sometimes it's hard to handle those changes. But, no matter what we have gone through with bringing this angel into our lives, I would do it over and over again. William Joseph is just perfect in every way, from the red-brown hair on his head to the tips of is tiny toes, and every place in between. I will be working on some special pages dedicated just to William in the near future. He's a blessing that has to be shared in so many ways.