TITLE: Missing Scenes from “Older and Far Away”

AUTHOR: Spike Girl

PAIRING: S/B all the way!

RATING: A big ol’ NC-17 on this one ;)

DISCLAIMER: Spike is mine. All mine. You want him? TOO BAD! And when I say Spike is MINE, I mean mine in the sense that Joss and the folks down at ME own him and all the rights to BtVS. Darn.

SUMMARY: What REALLY happened on the night of Buffy’s party? A little glimpse into the before and after that UPN didn’t want us to see. Spoilers for “Older and Far Away,” of course :).

FEEDBACK: Flames are welcome and appreciated. PLEASE?? I mean, NICE feedback is okay too--I’m just realistic ;). E-mail me at spike_girl@angelfire.com

AUTHOR'S NOTE: As bad as it is, this fic is a milestone--IT’S NOT IN RESPONSE TO A CHALLENGE! I actually thought up the premise all by myself. Well, other than the fact that I just took an entire episode and...You know what? Never mind. Thank you to Sarah2 and Patricia--you know what for :).

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Spike looked around the store nervously. He didn't know if he could do it. He just could NOT bring himself to...God, what was wrong with him? He had done this a hundred times before without a thought, and--what--now he was a chicken?

You'd better believe it.

"Spike," Dawn prodded, "come on. We haven't got all day. Buffy's party starts in an hour. Are you getting her a present or not?"

"I'm working on it, Nibblet," Spike said, exasperated. "It just...It has to be PERFECT. She's always mad at me, but I don't think she's ever been this mad at me before. This time, I don't think a few rounds of Spike loving are going to be enough to..."

"EWWW--I SO did not need to hear that!" Dawn shuddered involuntarily. "I mean, knowing you two are doing it is one thing, but actually HEARING you say it...Gross, Spike!"

"Sorry, Bit. I'll keep the Buffy shagging info under wraps." Spike saluted her with two fingers as he passed through another aisle. Still nothing. "You haven't told her yet, have you? That you know about...well...me an’ her?"

Dawn shook her head. "No. I'm waiting for her to tell me herself. She can't keep hiding this forever. Big nasty secrets are never good." Glancing over at Spike she realized how bad what she just said sounded. "Spike...I didn't mean it that way."

"I know, Platelet, I know. S'okay. I mean, look at what she did to me." He motioned to the still-fresh bruises and cuts that marred his face. "I mean, she's obviously not all that crazy about me. Never was." He stared off into space, a faraway look in his eyes. "Not that I can blame her. It's just...I love her SO much. And she....I..." He choked back a sob and turned away from Dawn. He couldn't break down in front of her.

A small hand settled on his back, patting it gently. "It's okay, Spike. You know how Buffy is. And I KNOW she has feelings for you." She saw the hopeful glimmer in his eyes and smiled sadly. It really wasn't fair. Spike was so good to her sister. Here Buffy had a man who would do anything for her, DID everything for her, and she treated him like dirt. Dawn stole a glance at his battered face and sighed. Why couldn't Buffy realize? There weren't many who would take a beating like that to protect the person doling out the punishment. And now Spike looked so sad all of the time. She missed the old Spike. The Spike who would watch movies with her and order pizza, or play cards and let her paint his nails. Now he was so worried about being rejected yet again by Buffy that he barely ever came to the house anymore. It just wasn't fair!

She recovered quickly. "So, you'd better get her something REALLY good. And expensive."

"Dawn? You okay?" Spike asked, concerned. "Looks like you have a lot on your mind. Feel like talking 'bout it?"

She plastered a phony smile on her face to try and please Spike. He shook his head. While the routine worked for everyone else, even her supposed "friends," somehow, she could never fool Spike. But he was still evil, right? A soulless thing? She laughed bitterly.

"Funny you should ask. Actually, I feel like crap."

He stared at her, not responding, waiting for her to finish. He always had been the only one to really listen to her, especially since Buffy had...gone.

"Buffy doesn't love me anymore. NO ONE loves me anymore, for that matter." Spike looked hurt. "Oh, not you Spike. That's why I'm telling you this. Because...you understand. What it's like to always be left out. To have the feeling that everyone is watching you, blaming you...for something that wasn't even your fault!"

"Pet...what are they blaming you for? Other than the little sticky fingers habit I've noticed, you haven't done anything wrong." He looked at her sternly. "Have you? Because, if there's a boy involved, I SWEAR I'll..."

Dawn had the decency to look ashamed. "You know about that?" She whispered, studying the floor intently.

"Of course I bloody well know about it! A body'd have to be BLIND not to notice it. What--you're telling me that none of the Scoobies have caught on?"

She lifted her head and looked at him, tears glistening in her eyes. "That's exactly it," she whispered. "I didn't start stealing because I needed the stuff. I just wanted them to notice me. Yell at me. Punish me. To do SOMETHING. They act like I don't even exist. They treat me like....They think it’s my fault she died. They still blame me for it." She paused for a moment, then spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. “They wish I had died instead of Buffy.”

He took a tentative step forward. "That’s not true and you know it! Look, luv. They all love you very much. There are just some...things...going on right now that kind of have everyone preoccupied. Big sis especially. Just give them a little ti--"

"TIME? YOU WANT ME TO GIVE THEM TIME?" Dawn shrieked at the top of her lungs. "YOU'VE BEEN GIVING THEM 'TIME' FOR TWO YEARS NO AND LOOK HOW FAR IT'S GOTTEN Y--"

Spike grabbed her by the arm and dragged her forcefully out of the store.

"Look, Bit, you know I love you, but that...I'd better get you home. I'll finish the shopping myself. Come on."

He walked towards the mall exit, and Dawn watched him walk away for a moment before running to join him. What had she done? She had hurt the one person who actually understood her.

"Look, Spike, I'm so--"

"No need, Nibblet. No hard feelings." He swung into the driver's seat and turned towards Dawn before he started the car. "And about you birthday gift to Buffy..."

Dawn paled.

"...I saw you nick it. Went in, told the shopkeeper you were so excited I was buying that coat for you that you just ran out with it. Paid for it too."

"I was going to.."

"No, you weren't. And you're going to have a talk with Buffy about it, too. I won't tell her...

Dawn’s face brightened.

"...because YOU will. Right after the festivities. Wouldn't want to ruin the party and all. Deal?"

"But I can't t--"

"Do we have a deal?"

"Yes." She slumped down in her seat. "You drive a hard bargain."

Spike grinned. "That's my girl."

************************************************************************

The battered DeSoto pulled into the driveway on Revello Drive.

"You ARE coming, right Spike? To the party? You have to come."

"I don't know, pet. I mean, I'm not exactly on good terms with the lady of the house. Plus, I don't even have anything to give her." He paused. "Or anything she'll take anyways," he mumbled sadly.

"PULLLLLEEEAAZZEE, Spike? She really wants you there, I can tell. You wouldn't want to make Buffy sad on her birthday, would you?" Dawn pulled out the patented puppy-dog face, sure to make even the biggest bad crumble within seconds.

"Argh! Not that thing with the eyes! Bloody hell, stop it!!"

"So...Party? At 8:00?"

"Fine. Party. Whatever. Just STOP THAT!"

Dawn smiled triumphantly and skipped into the house. "See you later, Spike."

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The shelves loomed menacingly before him. Spike shrunk back and exited the store, trying the next one in the massive mall. He sighed. Only twenty minutes until the party...Then again--being late always had its advantages. He could make a grand entrance now. He had learned all about the advantages of being fashionably late way back when he was William the simpering poet. Not that it did him any good then.

With a strangled scream, he hit the nearest wall. Pulling away his bloody hand, he shook his head. Who did he think he was, anyway? Like Buffy would even acknowledge his presence let alone accept a gift from him. Defeated, he turned and walked away.

Then he saw it.

His eyes lit up as he carefully lifted it from the shelf. This was it. The *perfect* gift.

Spike made his way home, and discovered Clem was already there. After a quick stop for some beer, he was ready.

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Spike approached the back door and knocked, then decided against waiting. He WAS an invited guest, after all. Kind of. He and Clem walked into the kitchen where Buffy and Tara appeared to have been talking.

"Spike." Uh-oh. The Slayer sounded angry. You’d think after getting his face punched in, he’d be the angry one. Obviously she hadn’t been reading up on the rules of human sympathy yet.

"Yeah. Willow mentioned the shindig. Figured we were all part of the team. Thought I'd...uh.. swing by." Willow HAD mentioned the party. Granted, he had been in another room and eavesdropping, but she had mentioned it. With Dawn already aiming for trouble later when she talked to Buffy, he figured it’d be best to keep her out of things. Red could handle herself, anyway.

"Wait...What kind of team is this?"

What kind of team? What did she mean, what kind of--

"Hi. We met once before." Spike smiled slightly as Clem waved to the two women. Always the polite one....

"Yes, yes we did."

Now she just sounded confused. Oh, well. It’s not like he was going anywhere now.

“You know. More the merrier. That whole thing."

After Clem introduced himself, Spike had planned on talking to Buffy alone for a minute. That would have happened except for the fact that Harris and his demon girl seemed to have invited some poncy boy to the party.

This was going to be a long night.

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Insert the events of the fateful party here. You know the one--Spike hit on Buffy only to be rejected, causing him to suffer from debilitating muscle cramps for which Tara prescribed ice. And then there was that whole “being stuck in a house with a sword-wielding demon” situation. Pretty fun, huh? Anyways, you already know what happened at the party. Let’s skip a bit :).

***********************************************************************

Xander and Anya shakily supported Richard as they walked towards the door. If he didn’t get medical attention soon, there might not be much of a need for it anymore. Spike smiled to himself.

‘That’s what you get for trying to make the moves on my girl,’ he thought happily.

The small group gathered around the front door, everyone too afraid at what might *not* happen. Buffy broke the silence.

"Think it's worn off?

He grinned. Might as well take the lead. It didn’t look like anyone else here was about to make a move, and he *really* wanted to get away from these people. The Scoobies could be manageable in small doses, but an entire day of being surround with no one but them...

“Just one thing to do.”

Spike looked around at the anxious faces one more time and approached the door. He leaned in towards the knob, turned it, and voila. With a flourish he threw the door back heavily, earning a glare from Anya as she stopped it before it hit the wall. Their faces were incredulous as the gang slowly made their way out of the house.

Ignoring their ignorant blathering, Spike walked out of the house last giving a final nod to Buffy, leaving her and Dawn to have their heart-to- heart. His gift could wait--bridging the gap between the two sisters was much more important. Both of them needed to talk and get a lot of things out in the open. He didn’t want to interfere in the reconciliation of the two more important people in his life.

As he watched the others leave, Spike slumped against his tree in the front yard. After a quick smoke he would head back to his crypt. Maybe there was something on the telly.

“Spike...”

He turned around to face the house.

“Buffy!” He exclaimed, straightening up and stubbing out his cigarette with his boot. “What are you doing out here? I thought you and the nibblet were going to--”

“Talk. We did.” Buffy interrupted. “She told me about what you did with the jacket. And that you convinced her to tell me about everything.”

Spike nodded.

She approached him until they were standing face to face.

“Why?” She asked simply.

“Why?” Spike looked into her eyes. “Well...I was worried about you and the bit. Thought it was time for one of those sisterly talks and all. Which begs the question--why are you out here with me when she needs you, pet?”

“I’m going back in. We’re going to finish that talk. I just wanted to...” Buffy looked at her feet, then brought her eyes up to stare into his fathomless blue ones. “...give you something.”

She slowly moved her hands and intertwined her fingers in his hair, pulling his head towards hers.

“Buffy, what--”

“Shh...” She placed a finger over his lips. Spike took hold of her wrist and gently inserted her finger into his mouth, sucking on it sensually. Buffy moaned slightly and pulled her hand away. Spike looked up quickly, worried that he had misread her signals. She took this opportunity to smash her lips against his while moving her hands up and down his back.

“Oh, Buffy...,” he groaned as her tongue slipped into his mouth. Spike pulled her flush against him and continued the oral assault, then released his hold on her to cup his hands around her firm breasts.

Her squeals of delight slowly turned into low moans of pleasure as his hands slid under her shirt and his skilled fingers tweaked her nipples.

“Inside,” she panted.

“What about the bit? Don’t want her to...”

Buffy glanced at the darkened window. “She’s in bed. Plus, she sleeps like a log.” She began pulling him by his belt towards the open front door.

“I need you, Spike. I need to feel you inside me. Please...”

That was all he needed to hear. With a growl, he picked her up and hurried inside. She wrapped her legs around his waist and slammed the door loudly as he breezed through it and dashed up the stairs. Bursting into her room, he threw her on the bed and quickly shut the door.

Spike stood, back against the door, just admiring her beauty. What a sight she made. Her shirt rode up exposing the black lace bra she wore, and her chest was heaving up and down. Buffy’s cheeks were flushed a brilliant red, and her eyes reflected pure lust.

“Spike...” Her voice was filled with need.

He shed his duster and moved towards the bed slowly, a predator stalking his prey.

“Here, luv? You sure? We could always go back to--” She sat up in the bed and pulled him down on top of her. Wriggling out from underneath him, she straddled his waist and began to slowly unbutton his shirt.

“I know we can, but I. Want. You. Right. Here.” She punctuated each word with a kiss, causing Spike to tremble beneath her. He lifted a hand and ran it through her hair tenderly, his eyes threatening to spill tears.

‘Bloody hell...She’s turned me into a sodding ponce!’ Buffy’s lips continued to trail down his neck and to his chest. She probably hadn’t noticed his near-teary outburst. ‘Course, even if she did, I could always chalk it up to my eye being swollen from a beating by a certain someone. Oh wait...It is...’

Beating aside, he still couldn’t believe it. Here he was in the Slayer’s...no...Buffy’s...bed. While they had had many wild and passionate bouts of sex in his crypt (and in that abandoned building...and in that alley behind the Doublemeat...even on that tombstone in the cemetery...), he never in a million years imagined that he would be where he was now. In HER room. On HER bed. This...this wasn’t a place to have sex.

For the first time, he was going to make love to her. How he had wanted to, tried to, every time they had been together, but was always stopped by Buffy’s insistence.

He was snapped out of his thoughts as his shirt was ripped open the rest of the way and warm hands began exploring his chest. He sat up slightly and Buffy slid the shirt off entirely, throwing it quickly to the floor. Their mouths met again with the same burning intensity as before, breaking apart only when Spike pushed Buffy’s shirt over her head. He gazed again at her half-nude figure, eyes lighting with delight.

Very gently, he maneuvered himself so he was on top. “I love you, Buffy,” he said as he began to rain small kisses all over her face and neck. “No matter what happens--no matter how bad things are--just remember that.”

In response, Buffy whimpered and thrust her hips upward.

“Now, now, luv.” He smiled. “Patience is a virtue, you know.”

With soft caresses, he unclasped her bra and removed the offending garment. His tongue lavished attention on her pert nipples until she spoke.

“More, Spike. I need more. Plea--oh, God!”

With a grin he slid her pants off, and began kissing his way up her inner thigh. Buffy’s breathing increased, and her hips bucked involuntarily.

His mouth continued to travel over the smooth skin of her leg. He reached her panties and, within seconds, they were whisked away. Spike paused for a moment as he was about to toss them onto the ever-increasing pile of clothes on the floor. With a sly smile, he deftly shoved them into his pocket.

Spike propped himself up on his elbows and gave her one last loving look before his lips descended to her throbbing center. She gasped as his tongue explored her, periodically flicking lightly over her clit as her cries became more insistent. He felt her body tremble beneath him and knew that it was only a matter of seconds before she achieved her release. One of his hands snaked up as he inserted two fingers into her and slowly began to pump her while his tongue remained fixed on her clit. Suddenly, he took the small nub between his teeth and gave it a sharp pull. That did it. Buffy screamed out his name in climax, clutching at the sheets as her body spasmed out of control. With a few final thrusts of his fingers, he removed his hand. Spike lapped up the juices that flowed from her, and then proceeded to lick his fingers clean. He slid up next to her and stroked her cheek.

“Cor, luv, the way you taste...” His eyes glazed over slightly and he licked his lips to savor the sensation. “There’s nothing else like it on this earth.”

Before Spike could continue, Buffy rolled over and was on top of him once again. Without a moment’s hesitation, she lowered herself onto his swollen shaft. She gasped as he entered her, and somewhere in the back of her mind was surprised that after all they had done together, every time he penetrated her felt like a brand-new experience.

With a smile, she leaned down to kiss Spike as she moved up and down. He returned the kiss hungrily and latched onto her breasts, his fingers massaging them in a circular motion. Buffy increased the pace and Spike was forced to grab onto her hips so he could slam into her every time her body lowered.

Buffy’s palms roamed his chest, and her teeth grazed his skin where she knew he liked to be bitten. Their dance intensified in speed and ferocity as the two rivals turned lovers met each other thrust for powerful thrust.

“So tight. So bloody tight...and perfect...” Spike’s voice was hoarse as the sensations he could only feel with Buffy began to take over his body.

“Mmmm...It’s been too long...” Buffy ground out, reflecting on the two long days since she had ended up under his rug, been handcuffed to the bedpost, and then…in the Bronze...

“You’re telling me, pet. You’re telling me.” Spike felt Buffy’s muscles clench around his cock and knew she was on the brink of orgasm. With a mighty thrust, he buried himself to the hilt inside her molten depths.

“Spike! Ohgodohgodohgodohgod...Yes! Ooooh....! SPIKE!”

Her vaginal walls fluttering around him was too much. His screams mingled with hers as he came hard.

“That’s it, Buffy. With me. Come with me. Ahhh...”

Both rode out their orgasms as long as possible, rocking against each other until the sensations passed. Afterwards, they snuggled up together in a warm embrace and enjoyed the afterglow.

“Next time, Spike, bring the handcuffs.”

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Dawn tentatively lifted the pillow from her head and listened. Silence. Thank God. Sighing and placing the pillow under her head where it belonged, a small smile stole across her face. As disgusting as it was, she was happy for her sister and Spike. Granted, next time they could try to keep it down a little...And how long did it really take to have sex? They were at it FOREVER. But still...A warm feeling spread throughout her. Maybe this was it. Maybe after this, things would get better. Buffy would tell her about Spike, and she’d stop being so mean to him. They could all hang out together. She really missed Spike now that Buffy seemed to ban him from the house. Now it could be the three of them.

She heard muffled voices next door and groaned. If they were going to start up again, there was going to be some serious wall-pounding. She understood that Buffy had needs or whatever, but COME ON!

From what she could make out, it sounded like Buffy was...apologizing? To Spike? For what? Dawn crept out of bed and pressed her ear against the wall. She was apologizing for beating him up? Now? That happened days ago! Dawn scowled. Leave it to Buffy to think pounding the guy that loved her into the ground was kinky. Poor Spike. He didn’t even hold it against Buffy....When she had asked him what had happened, he just told her he had had a rough night on patrol. Rough night was right. Only after her incessant prodding had he told her the truth.

She heard the sound of a door opening and scrambled back into bed. She heard someone go downstairs, but there was only one set of footsteps. Buffy sure was a bitch sometimes! What did she do--get what she wanted from Spike and then boot him out?

A soft knocking on her door interrupted her mental rant.

“Come in.”

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Spike couldn’t wipe the grin from his face as he knocked on Dawn’s door. Not only had he just had the most mind-blowing experience of his entire unlife, but he’d received an apology. An apology from BUFFY. Knowing how rare those were, he hung on every word that came out of her beautiful mouth.

As soon as he got the okay from Dawn, he cracked open her door and poked his head in.

“Got a minute, Platelet?”

“Spike! Sure. Come on in.”

Dawn jumped out from under the covers and gave him a big hug, nothing his tousled hair and rumpled appearance.

“I thought Buffy gave you the boot. I mean, after all that...”

Spike looked horrified. “Nibblet...You didn’t hear anything. Tell me you didn’t hear anything.”

Her eyes widened. “Hear something? What would I hear? There was this loud music...I think it was coming from next door. Anyway, I had a pillow over my head so I wouldn’t hear it. ANY of it. No matter how long it kept going.”

He sat down at the foot of her bed and sighed. “Sorry ‘bout that. Wasn’t really thinking...I mean, everything was kind of unexpected. I didn’t think...If I had known...”

Dawn smiled. “It’s okay, Spike. Really. I’m happy for you two.”

His smile returned. “Thanks, Bit. I’m happy for us too. At least for me. I still don’t think your sis is quite used to the idea. Hear her run downstairs a minute ago? We were all settled in, and I really think she was aiming for a round two, when all of a sudden she comes up with an excuse. Some vampires to slay and that rot. Bolted out of there faster’n I could get her clothes o--”

“I’m SO not listening,” Dawn blurted out, covering her ears with her hands. When she was sure Spike was quite done, she uncovered them.

“Tell me, pet...Did you and Buffy get some things worked out? I know it was a hard night for you, with the being blamed for us being trapped, and Anya goin’ off on you....You okay?

She smiled at his concern. We’re going to talk again later today, but I think everything’s going to work out. I mean, she didn’t yell at me or anything. It was really weird.” Dawn winked at Spike. “And with all the...entertainment...tonight, if she was going to punish me, she probably doesn’t even remember now. She did say that I had to return everything I took, and do whatever Anya tells me to at the Magic Box.” She frowned for a moment, then continued excitedly.

“But she told me that she loves me a lot, and that she was sorry about how she’s been acting lately. And she was sincere--I could tell. So, we’re going to be spending a lot more time together and stuff.” Dawn looked at Spike. “I have you to thank, you know.”

“Me? I didn’t do anything. It was all you two. I’m just glad everything’s working out.” He glanced at the clock. “It looks like it’s time for all fifteen year old WOMEN,” he winked at her, “to be in bed.” He stood up and started for the door.

“Oh, wait a minute. Do you have--”

Dawn thrust the bag at him. “I thought you forgot about them. And I swear, I didn’t even open them or shake them or anything.”

Spike cocked an eyebrow as he saw a slight tear in the wrapping paper on one of the gifts.

“Well, maybe I went for a TEENY little peek, but I didn’t see anything.” She pouted. “You use way too much tape.”

He set the bag down on the floor and waited as Dawn got settled under her covers. Hesitating for a moment, he leaned down and kissed her on the forehead, and then rumpled her hair lovingly.

“Night, Nibblet. Sweet dreams.”

He closed the door quietly behind him as Dawn drifted off to sleep, visions of their little makeshift family invading her dreams.

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Buffy yawned and flipped the switch, bathing her room with light. Relieved to find that Spike had left on his own accord, she changed into her pajamas and prepared to settle in for a few hours of sleep before she had to get Dawn off to school.

What was that on the bed?

She walked over and picked up the two gift-wrapped packages. There was a small, slim box, and a tube-shaped one. Who--

Spike.

He should know that getting her gifts wouldn’t change the way she felt about him. Not at all. And just because they had just had hot sweaty sex didn’t mean she felt anything for him. He knew that.

Right?

Buffy tore away the paper on the box and lifted the lid. She gasped and pulled out the necklace. Simple and silver, it was elegant without being extravagant. Just the kind of jewelry she liked.

It figured. Right when she thought she was sure about how she felt about him, he had to go and pull something like this. Even worse...He had bought this stuff even before they had had sex tonight. And he left them afterwards. Meaning that he wasn’t trying to buy her things as a ploy to get her to sleep with him. It would almost be easier if he had. She could deal with that behavior. He was a demon. Demons were evil. Clear-cut and end of story.

It was the damn gray area that Spike fit into that was the problem.

With a frustrated scream, she opened the next package. It was a poster of some sort. She peeled away the plastic covering and unrolled it.

Trying to stifle the laughter the gift induced, she stood up and faced the New Kids on the Block Poster that had graced her wall since she had moved to Sunnydale.

“Sorry, guys, it’s time to go. Jordan, I’ve moved on.”

She wrestled with the now-welded tacks and removed the poster, replacing it with the one Spike had given her. He had bought it as a joke, she knew, but maybe having an attractive man on her wall would make him jealous.

Buffy looked at the poster and begrudgingly admitted to herself that Spike was the more attractive vampire. *Much* more attractive. She turned off the light and crawled into bed, still giggling.

Wesley Snipes stared back at her from the “Blade” movie poster.

*THE END*